Getting To Know Heidi Watney’s Replacement, Jenny Dell

So NESN decided to go with a former Umass Amherst cheerleader as Heidi Watney's replacement. I cant complain there.

Here’s all you need to know about Heidi Watneys replacement, Jenny Dell: she went to Umass Amherst, she was a cheerleader at Umass Amherst, she worked for ESPN, she is a brunette. Not sure if she has a Boston accent or not.

Here's the obligatory photo gallery:

Boston Herald Calls These Patriots The “Dynasty Part 2.” They Have Balls, Huh?

The same newspaper that declared the 2011 Red Sox the "Best Team Ever" a day before the 2011 season even began has now called this Patriots team "Dynasty Part 2."

Forget the Sports Illustrated cover curse, we may be looking at the Boston Herald Front Page Curse. Their headline writer has some balls. I understand they have to sell newspapers, but they also have a responsibility to not give the Giants bulletin board material. Thankfully no one buys newspapers anymore.

BenJarvus Green-Ellis’ Uncle Willing To Bet $5 Million That The Patriots Win The Super Bowl

BenJarvus Green-Ellis' uncle is rapper, record producer, and co-founder of Cash Money Records, Birdman. The dude is a millionaire and is willing to bet $5 million that the Patriots will beat the Giants. He tweeted this earlier this week:

If you dont know what Cash Money Records is, it's the label that currently produces Drake, Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj and T-Pain, among others. And BenJarvus Green-Ellis' father, Ronald “Slim’’ Williams, co-founder it with his brother, Bryan "Birdman" Williams.

Just when you thought this Patriots team couldnt get any more swag.

Tom Brady is married to a super model, Wes Welker is engaged to a former Miss Hooters International, Rob Gronkowski bangs porn stars and BenJarvus Green-Ellis is the son of a record company mogul.

REPORT: Bill Belichick Will Not Wear Red Hoodie At Super Bowl XLVI. THANK GOD!

When Belichick broke his routine and wore a red hoodie at Super Bowl XLII people were a little irate. Well, fear not my superstitious friends. According to Belichick's girlfriend, Linda Holliday, he will NOT be wearing a red hoodie at Super Bowl XLVI. Lets hope he sticks with his famous grey hoodie.

I Guess Zdeno Chara Has A Sense Of Humor, Picks Tyler Seguin AND Phil Kessel For His All Star Team

Its going to be like watching the Jetsons meet the Flintstones. Its just gonna be weird seeing Phil Kessel and Tyler Seguin on the same team. And its got to be awkward for them, knowing they were traded for each other.

In all honest though, I do want to see them play on the same line. That would be a friggin deadly line.

Carey Price And Tim Thomas Will Be Teammates At All Star Game. Lets Hope They Let Bygones Be Bygones.

Remember when Tim Thomas came out of his net to fight Carey Price? That was pretty awesome.

Tim Thomas Carey Price Fight

Claire Danes Said She Is Going To The Super Bowl For "The Nachos And Alcohol." What A Waste Of A Friggin Ticket.

Claire Danes was in Boston yesterday accepting Harvard’s Hasty Pudding award and told the crowd that she was going to the Super Bowl.

She didn’t mention which team she was rooting for but did say that she is going for the “the nachos and the alcohol.” What a waste of a friggin ticket.

Are These Pricks In Indianapolis Making Fun Of The Patriots Defense With This Billboard Of Eli Manning And Jerod Mayo?

What the hell is Jerod Mayo doing on a Super Bowl XLVI billboard beside Eli Manning? No disrespect to Jerod Mayo, but the Patriots defense was statistically one of the worst in the NFL. Yet they chose to put Jerod Mayo vs Eli Manning on the billboard? What are they trying to say?

I mean, the Patriots defense IS the reason the Patriots beat the Ravens (along with Billy Cundiff), but when you think 2011 Patriots you think about the offense. I think I get it. These pricks are making fun of us.

Its been a while since the Patriots have been able to play the “they disrespect us” card but they have every right to this year.

Kudos to Vigilantsports.com for finding this picture.

Just Another Patriot Livin’ The Life: Wes Welker Is Engaged To A Former Miss Hooters International.

The Boston Herald today reported that Wes Welker is engaged to former Miss Hooters International, Anna Burns.

Burns was Miss Hooters International in 2005 and is actually in the Hooter Hall of Fame. Yes, there is a Hooter Hall of Fame. Just another Patriot livin' the life, huh?

So Tom Brady is married to a super model, Rob Gronkowski is banging a porn star and Wes Welker's fiancee is a Miss Hooters International. The Patriots are living like friggin rock stars.

How About This Friggin Guy, Huh?

Some tool named Gary Myers of the NyDailyNews.com has gaurenteed that the Giants WILL BEAT the Patriots in Super Bowl XLVI.

He doesn’t really give a good argument as to why the Giants will beat the Patriots other than to say, “fifteen Giants who played in that Super Bowl [XLII] remain with the team. There are only seven Patriots who remain. “

Wow, this guy did his homework huh?

How the frig did this get past the editors desk? This dude reminds me of the high school kid who whips together a paper the night before its due knowing its sucky and and just hopes the teacher doesn’t really read it.

This article has a whopping 14 retweets. Journalistic gold right there, bro.

(VIDEO) This Dude Has Been To Over 400 Celtics Games, 300 Pats Games And Uses "Fuck" As An Adjective, Adverb, And A Noun. He Is A PURE Masshole.

This Masshole has been to over 400 Celtics games, 300 Pats games, including every championship game, and uses fuck as an adjective, adverb, and noun.

I think he just may be a type 3 Masshole...which is the purest of all Massholes. Let me explain the three types of Massholes:

Type 1: people who grow up in Massachusetts but move away and miss it.

Type 2: people who are born and raised in Massachusetts, spend a little time exploring the world (by that I mean they live out-of-state for a while or somewhere outside 495) and come back and realize they are nothing like "those other people" and decide they love it here.

Type 3: people who live in Massachusetts their whole lives and think anything outside of Massachusetts is a foreign country and enemy.

Im officially declaring this dude a type 3 Masshole.

If The Bruins Front Office Trades Tim Thomas Over His Political Views, They Are Real Dickheads

The media is having a field day with this whole Tim Thomas White House scandal.

Fluto Shinzawa of the Globe wrote an article yesterday implying that this is the beginning of the end of the Tim Thomas Era in Boston. He wrote that this “may be the first step in goalie and team parting ways” and “his no-movement clause expires at the conclusion of this season…the Bruins could reap a significant return from a club seeking a No. 1 goalie.”

Deadspin ran an article yesterday with the headline, “It Sounds Like The Bruins Are Ready To Say Goodbye To Tim Thomas, Free Citizen”

Want to know what I think? FUCK THAT. Political dissent is a national pastime in this country. If a team trades a player because he has a non-mainstream (libertarian) view of politics then we are all fucked.

Tim Thomas was a drifter who showed up in a town out of nowhere and gave this organization a few great, historic, Vezina Trophy winning years and now he's on the verge of being run out of town because of his political views? Is this really how its going to end?

Honestly, it would make a great chapter in the book of Tim Thomas’ life. But as a Bruins fan, I don’t want to live it. It is TIM FRIGGIN THOMAS we’re talking about here. Its not supposed to end like this.

(VIDEO) Dude "Gronks" A Gallon Of Milk...Is This Wicked Awesome Or Wicked Stupid?

Is this video of some dude spiking a gallon of milk like Rob Gronkowski wicked awesome or wicked stupid?

The Dude Who Plays Tampa Bay Lighting Mascot Fired Over Starting Fight With Bruins Fan. Good Riddance Douchebag!

Remember the douchebag Tampa Bay Lighting mascot, Thunderbug, who sprayed silly string in a Bruins fans face and then pussied out when the Bruins fan tried to fight him? Well, the dude got fired over the incident.

From Tampa Bay Online :

A performer who plays the Tampa Bay Lightning's ThunderBug mascot was fired by the team a week after spraying Silly String on a Boston Bruins fan during a game. The team said it did not condone the performer's actions, which caused a kerfuffle in the crowd and led to the fan being briefly removed from his seat.

Heres the video one more time, for old times sake (I bet he wished he took a swing):

Tom Brady On The Cover Of Masshole Sports Magazine...If There Were A Masshole Sports Magazine

You’ve all seen the Sports Illustrated cover this month with Tom Brady on it. Well, heres how Masshole Sports Magazine would do it...if we were a magazine:

Is This The Worst Rob Gronkowski Tribute Song You’ve Ever Heard (The Gronk Song)?

The Gronk Song


With lyrics like this, I have to question whether this was written by a sixth grader or maybe a former member of the Wiggles:

If he was alive in 1775
no revolution would be needed to survive.
British soldiers with just one glance
would run back home with wet underpants.

(PHOTO) Tom Brady Is On The Cover Of Sports Illustrated Again. I Am So Friggin Glad They Didnt Choose The Down Syndrome Kid, Eli.

Tom Brady is on the cover of Sports Illustrated again. I am honestly surprised. I figured the Giants were the bigger story nationally, considering the down syndrome kid Eli beat the Packers and 49ers on the way to this Super Bowl appearance.

Anyway, I dont want to hear any shit about an SI curse. Brady was on the cover of SI earlier this month (and on the cover of SI For Kids) and its turned out to be a pretty good January so far.

David Tyree's Catch From Super Bowl XLII Has Its Own Wikipedia Page. Are You Shitting Me?

Are you shitting me? David Tyree's catch in Super Bowl XLII has it own friggin Wikipedia page?

On its wikipedia page, it reminds us that this catch has been called "the greatest play the Super Bowl has ever produced" and "The Play of the Decade (2000s)" by NFL Films.

As if the Patriots needed anymore motivation?

I Guess The Bruins Thought The All Star Break Started After The 2nd Intermission, Huh?

That 3rd period was painful, kid. And I dont want to hear that all the Tim Thomas bullshit was a distraction It wasnt. Honestly, if he had started it probably would have been a distraction because the fans would have been all over him.

The Bruins just stopped playing after the 2nd period. I havent seen sloppy like that since the teams of the late 90s. This was the last game before the All Star break...and it showed.

Is Tim Thomas THAT Guy? You Know THAT Guy.

Finding out that Tim Thomas was a Libertarian / Tea Party supporter was kinda a shock to my system. Its like being in elementary school and seeing your teacher walking out of an R rated movie or something. Its just bizarre.

It got me thinking--is Tim Thomas THAT guy who talks peoples ears off about how bad the government sucks and how they are tapping peoples phones and shit? I mean, does he really hate the government so badly that he couldnt even step foot in the White House? The more I think about it, the more I think Thomas is a bit of a flake.

(VIDEO) Radio Blowhard Michael Felger Nails 32 Yard Field Goal (twice), Proves Billy Cundiff Is A Piece Of Shit

98.5 The Sports Hub blowhards Michael Felger, Tony Massarotti and their staff attempted to kick a 32 yard field goal today--the same distance Billy Cundiff missed against the Patriots on Sunday.

Felger won the dick measuring contest, going 2 for 3. Felger also tried a 32 yarder while wearing UGG boots and a cheesehead….and missed. Tony Massarotti, Marc Bertrand, Billy Lanni and Jimmy Stewart all went 0 for 3.

Click here to see the video (because those bastids that run their website wont let me embedd it)

(PHOTO) Is Gronkowski Living The Life Or What?

Another day, another shirtless picture of Rob Gronkowski surrounded by beautiful women. Is this guy living the life or what? Any man who hates Gronkowski is just a jealous prick because he's not living the Gronk Life and any woman is just jealous because she knows that her hand will never get this close to his junk.

On a side note, I think the girl on the right is giving Gronk a little too much credit. We can see the bulge, lady. You're not fooling anyone.

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REPORT: Ravens Fan Threw Patriots Fan Out Window, Then Patriots Fan Threw Raven Fan Out Window

From Fredericksburg.com:

Fredericksburg police say...fans of the Baltimore Ravens and the New England Patriots took turns throwing each other through a restaurant’s windows

A fan of each team was thrown through separate windows. All of the combatants had left the immediate area by the time police arrived

However, a city officer found three of the Ravens fans — all of them live in Tennessee — walking near Amelia and Princess Anne streets. The men told police they were attacked by a group of Patriot fans as they were leaving the restaurant while shouting, “Go Ravens!” One of them had thrown a Patriot fan through a window, police said.

I wouldnt think Ravens fans were the violent type. I mean, the Ravens tend to play the game the right way and dont go over the line right? They dont do thinks like hit Tom Brady with a helmet to the back after he scores a touchdown, right?

Jose Canseco Wants To Play For The Red Sox, I Shit You Not! The Sox Do Need An Outfielder....Hmmm

The man who introduced steroids to Major League Baseball actually says that he wants to play baseball again for your Boston Red Sox. The Red Sox are in the market for an outfielder. The question is, does Ben Cherington have the ball to sign Jose Friggin Canseco?

Jose Canseco tweeted the following Monday night:

(PHOTO) Maybe Tim Thomas Is Just Going Through A "Rage Against The Machine" Phase.

Did anyone think that maybe Tim Thomas is just going through a "Rage Against The Machine" phase and thats why he didnt go to the White House and released that anti-government rant? We've all been there....and it goes away eventually.