Sunday, August 10, 2014


No, this isn't a joke.  Im stepping away from the grid for a bit and Masshole Sports is a one man operation so unfortunately when I go on vacation, this site goes on vacation too.   Try and survive without me, my fellow massholes. The Red Sox suck right now and the Patriots are still in the preseason....I'm sure you'll be fine.

This Just About Sums It Up

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Friday, August 8, 2014

REPORT: The Nerds Have Crunched The Numbers And It Turns Out Videotaping Opponents On The Sideline Never Actually Helped The Patriots Win Any Games.

Relative to Vegas’s expectations, the Patriots scored 2.4 more points per game than they “should” have during the pre-Spygate era.
That might lend credence to the idea that taping defensive signals gave them an advantage, if it weren’t for the fact that they also outscored Vegas’s expectations by exactly 2.4 in the post-Spygate era as well.
That means New England’s offensive overachievement was more likely due to great coaching and quarterback play, which persisted across both eras, than to any illicit edge.
From a holistic viewpoint, using all repeat-opponent games in the regular season and playoffs, there hasn’t been any difference — significant or otherwise — in the Patriots’ offensive performance since the league mandated the team stop taping opposing play calls.

The nerds at FiveThirtyEight even posted a chart with a game by game statistical breakdown of their games before and after the "incident" that proves that the Patriots didn't benefit from videotaping their opponents signals on the sidelines.

I think it's safe to say people blew that videotaping bullshit way, way, way, out of proportion.  They gave it a clever catch phrase, Spygate, and gave the Patriots haters (aka fans of all the teams that Bill Belichick made his bitch in that time) some ammunition to pounce.

Well, it turns out it was all for not.  It was all just a bunch of bullshit.  What's sad is that people will probably STILL bring it up.  They will still say that the Patriots "cheated" when the facts prove that they harmlessly videotaped sideline signals and didn't benefit from it.

But hey, those ignorant assholes that wont let go of Spygate are probably the same ignorant assholes who consider jaywalkers criminals.

The reality is, mankind has been trying to cure ignorance since the dawn of civilization. It isn't going away.  The facts say that Spygate was no big deal and now all we can do is move forward and deal with the assholes among us.

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Meanwhile, Over In Oakland...

Lester actually retired the first 15 batters he faced and had a perfect game going into the sixth inning. Good for him.  I hope he leads the A's to the promised land, I really do.

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Thursday, August 7, 2014

Your Tweet Of The Day

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Some Dude Showed Up To Patriots Training Camp With A Painting Of Tom Brady And Gisele As A Gazelle. That Is Friggin Genius.

via USAToday

From USAToday:
Thousands of fans descended upon the Bon Secours Washington Redskins Training Camp the past three days to watch the team’s joint practices with the New England Patriots, but only one of them showed up with a painting of a finely dressed Tom Brady and what appears to be a deer in the background.

Local Richmond artist Jeromyah Jones, who calls the painting “The Heart of a Champion,” explains that the animal behind Brady is not a deer, but a gazelle.

“That’s his wife.  It symbolizes his wife, Gisele, and the graceful nature that she possesses. The red carpet that bridges the gap between their two professions, the modeling world and the sports world.”

If you don't know, a gazelle is a type of antelope (so wikipedia told me, anyway).  Yea, this dude just won the internet.

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Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Wow. Derek Jeter Is Now Washing His Own Balls. The Dude Wore “King Of NY” Cleats With All Of His Career Accomplishments On It During A Game.

From The NY Post:
Derek Jeter can add another accolade to his career — coolest cleats.

The Yankees shortstop sported a new pair of cleats during Monday’s game against the Tigers at Yankee Stadium, and the shoes list nearly every incredible statistic in the career of the future Hall of Famer.

On the back, the Captain was even given another nickname — “King of NY.”

I was going to go on a rant about how hypocritical it is for people to bash David Ortiz for acting like he's "bigger than the game" yet give Derek Jeter a free pass, but he is on his Farewell Tour and Im not allowed to bash him so I'll just give a one word rant:  sigh.

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FINAL: Cardinals 3 Red Sox 2

You read that correctly.  Two days after Stephen Drew's 4 RBI performance for the Yankees, AJ Pierzynski went 2 for 3 against his former team and scored the game winning run in a 3-2 Red Sox loss.  You can't make this shit up.

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@NFL Gets It.


I like the way they talk.

Monday, August 4, 2014

This Sounds About Right.

Apparently, the Yankees are the most hated team in the world. According to Reddit anyway:

They're also the most hated team in the United States:

This is just further proof that people hate rich assholes who buy overpriced shit they don't need.

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An Arby's In Richmond, VA Welcomed Bill Belichick And The Patriots With A Lame Spygate Joke. Well Hardy Fucking Har Har,

From The Washington Post:
Tom Brady and the New England Patriots will practice with the Redskins in Richmond for each of the next three days

If Patriots Coach Bill Belichick gets a hankering for a Bacon Cheddar Melt after Monday’s first session, there’s a parking spot reserved for him at the Arby’s around the corner.

Dean Kovanes, owner of the Arby’s at 2309 W. Broad St., hinted that he had something special planned for the Patriots’ arrival in Richmond when he unveiled a reserved parking sign for ‘Redskins great’ LaVar Arrington at the start of training camp. Kovanes didn’t disappoint.

I guess them southern folks is real slow.  I mean, that's the best he could come up with?  Friggin lame.

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FINAL: Yankees 8 Red Sox 7

Stephen Drew sucks.

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This Is Why Vince Wilfork Is Awesome.


The NFL Preseason Started Last Night...Sorta.