(abridged version)
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Nation
Not a creature was stirring, around Kenmore Station
Mike Lowell was sitting, at third base with care
Knowing that Theo Epstein didn’t want him there
Jason Bay was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of dollar signs danced in his head (greedy prick)
Rem Dog in his 'kerchief and Orsillo in his cap
Had just settled in for a long winter's nap
When over at Fenway there arose such a clatter
Theo sprang from his office to see what was the matter
He ran to his cellphone, and looked in a flash
A text from Jed Hoyer said “Im ready to make a splash!”
The moon over the monster, and the field full of snow
Made JD Drew smile…what do you know?
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But Adrian Gonzalez in a sleigh, bringing good cheer!
Jed Hoyer had done it! We made the trade!
He whistled and shouted and called the new Padres by name
"Now , Buchholz! Now, Ellsbury! Now Kelly and Bard!
Ive got you all now! Come to Petco Park!
No more green monster, no more big wall
You won't have to deal with cold weather at all."
So Adrian went to first base, with a happy ol’ whistle
Every ball that he hit, had the sound of a missile
And we heard Jed Hoyer exclaim, as he walked out of sight
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
GO TO MASSHOLE SPORTS HOMEPAGE
