This Is Why Flyers Fans Suck

This proves how ignorant, brainless, thuggish, meat headed, uneducated, and trashy Flyers fans are.

Sarah Palin was there to drop the ceremonial first puck a few years ago and the fans almost boo her out of the building. They didnt just boo when she is introduced; they boo for the entire puck dropping ceremony.

Im not a Sarah Palin supporter, but to boo the ENTIRE puck dropping ceremony is just a little over the top and not a good way to represent your city (notice how the PA music gets louder towards the end to try and drown the boos).



Im going to guess that Flyers fans are just pissy because the Flyers haven’t done anything of significance or importance in about thirty years.

Nomar Garciaparra Day At Fenway Will Be May 5th (cinco de mayo)

The Red Sox have announced that May 5th will be Nomar day at Fenway Park. Nomar Garciaparra will be honored in a pregame ceremony on Wednesday May 5th at approximately 6:45pm.

Isnt it just a little too soon?

Carlton Fisk didn’t have his day until the Red Sox retired his number 27 in 2000.

And Johnny Pesky didny have his day until the Red Sox retired his number 6 in 2008.

Am I missing something?  Will the Red Sox be retiring number 5 this Wednesday?  Or is this a ploy to sell more tickets.

“Brotherhood Of The Traveling Hoodie” Starring Bill Belichick and Joe Maddon

If you don’t know: Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon has been known to wear a hoodie in the dugout on cold night.

On April 16th while the Rays were playing in Boston, Major League Baseball told Joe Maddon and other managers that they could only wear “approved outerwear” while in the dugout.

Apparently hoodies weren’t considered “approved outerwear”, so Maddon was barred from wearing his hoodie.

Four days after announcing their ban on hoodies (and coincidentally immediately AFTER the Rays / Red Sox series), Major League Baseball officials "re-interpreted" the decision and decided that hoodies are indeed “approved outerwear.”

Hmmm…I smell a conspiracy here. It was REALLY cold at Fenway while the Rays were in town for that four game series.

Were the Red Sox playing mind games with Maddon? Did the Red Sox front office pull the strings on the hoodie ban?

Well, fast forward to today and we learn that Patriots coach Bill Belichick sent Joe Maddon a Patriots hoodie with the initials JM on it.  Whaaaaaat?

We know that Belichick and Terry Francona are friends. Seems like a nice “Im sorry” note.

Because The Sox Were Off Last Night...

The Sox were off last night and I didn’t have a clue what to do with myself. There wasnt much going on in Boston sports so I decided to troll the internet.

Here are the highlights from my night of internet trolling:

Slap Dancing




REAL Bruins Playing Hockey




Wall Of Death



Seven Year Old Still Breastfeeding

Just A Friendly Reminder, Bruins Fans

I posted this picture last year after the Bruins lost to the Flyers in the playoffs. Lets hope last years debacle is fresh in their minds and motivates them to close the door early on the Flyers this time around.

It should be noted that the Bruins are 3-0-1 against the Flyers this year and scored 13 goals in those games. Tim Thomas had a 1.96 goals-against average and a .942 save percentage in those games.

And the Flyers should be a much better match up for the Bruins than the Canadiens were. The Canadiens would fall like a ton of bricks anytime the Bruins tried to get physical with them, hence drawing lots of penalties and leaving Bruins fans to complain about the officiating night after night.

The Flyers will probably be as physical as the Bruins. Meaning, less penalties for the Bruins, more fights, more momentum swings and less bitching about the officiating.

Stay tuned…

Before You Fall In Love With Darnell McDonald, Theres Something You Should Know

Sure, he hit two home runs in his first two games with the Red Sox.

Sure, last night he was responsible for the only two runs the Red Sox scored.

Sure he has been the Red Sox most clutch performer in the short time he’s been here.

Sure, he is batting .333 with 2 hrs, 6 rbi in just 8 games this season.

But before you anoint Darnell McDonald a hero, before you go buy his jersey, before you give him credit, remember that there is always going to be a cloud of suspicion hovering over his shoulder.

Believe me, I don’t like being the one to point out the elephant in the room, but if I don’t you will ask why I didn’t.

According to ESPN, Darnell McDonald failed a steroid test in 2005 while in the Cleveland Indians minor league system. He received a 15 game suspension.

We know that Theo Epstein has a record of embracing and enabling steroid users--see Eric Gagne, David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, etc.

So when a 31 year old career minor leaguer (who has already failed one steroid test) comes out of obscurity and hits two home runs in his first two games and puts up the numbers he puts up and is playing under General Manager Theo Epstein, I think we have every right to talk about the elephant in the room.

So, memo to Red Sox Nation: lets take things slowly. We fell in love with Big Papi and he burned us. Its ok to hesitate before you fall in love again.

VIDEO: Female Canadiens Fan Celebrates Game 7 Win

This is almost as embarrassing as the Canadien Womens Hockey team celebrating their Gold Medal win. Remember that? They were drinking beer and smoking cigars.

At least this chic knows how to dance. Just try and ignore the beer belly and can of Molson in her hand.

Notice how the guy sitting next to her doesnt even look? Classic.

Miroslav Satan Scores ANOTHER Game Winning Goal, Sends Sabred Packing

Oh the drama of the Stanley Cup Playoffs!

Miroslav Satan scored the game winning (double overtime) goal in game 4 Wednesday night.

Then in the cosing seconds of game 5 Friday night, Buffalo goalie Ryan Miller left the net and grabbed Satan by the neck and had a little conversation with him.

Fast forward to last night and Satan again scores the game winning goal in the clinching game, sending Ryan Miller and the Sabres golfing.

Miroslav Satan was signed by the Bruins as a free agent in January.  He was basically out of hockey then, enjoying retired life.  He was a 35 year old former hockey player who had played in over 1000 NHL games.

It was a peculiar signing and left many Bruins fans scratching their heads at the time.  Why would the Bruins sign a 35 year old retired has-been. 

Well that "has-been" is making Peter Chiarelli look like a genius because he has scored two game winning goals in this series and is on fire right now. 

Yes, parden the pun but Satan is on fire right now.

What A Shocka! Adalius Thomas Released By Patriots

Im being sarcastic or course. We've seen this coming for months. This is about as surprising as learning that Ricky Martin was gay.

Darnell McDonald Is Like Finding A $20 Bill In Your Old Jacket

Have you ever pulled an old jacket out of the closet that you haven’t worn in forever and found a $20 bill in the pocket? Well, the Red Sox did just that last night.

When Jacoby Ellsbury was placed on the 15 day disabled list, a roster spot opened up and the Red Sox recalled Darnell McDonald from Pawtucket.

Darnell McDonald is a career minor league ball player. He was drafted back in 1997 by the Baltimore Orioles and has played almost his entire career in the minor leagues (except for 64 games here and there with the Reds and Orioles).

He is 31 years old and last night he was a hero. He got both the game tying and game winning hits. Now he is ready to go back into the closet…thank you very much for the $20 bill.

Memo to Red Sox Nation: Darnell McDonald isn’t the savior of this team.

The 2010 Red Sox are a mediocre team at best and “Run Prevention” obviously isn’t working (did you see John Lackeys last start and the blunder of errors?)

When Theo Epstein sold us the term "Run Prevention" this offseason, most Red Sox fans bought it. Well, I think we are quickly learning that Theo is nothing more than a snake oil salesman.

When a career minor leaguer wins you a game with late innings dramatics, it speaks nothing for run prevention.

So yea, last nights game was fun. Great story. But hey, even sucky movies have a few good scenes.

An old phrase comes to mind: even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while.

VIDEO: Charles Barkley Calls His Co-Hosts "Assholes" On Live TV

It baffles me that the folks over at TNT dont have their finger on the bleep button at all times.

Charles Barkley gets asked if he prefers blondes to brunettes and he proceeds to give an alternate answer.

Kirby Puckett Statue Doesn’t Even Look Like Kirby Puckett

Yesterday, before the Red Sox and Twins played the first ever regular season game at the Twins new stadium, Target Field, the Twins unveiled a statue of Kirby Puckett. I couldn’t help but notice how weird the face looked.

Its supposed to be a statue of Kirby Puckett running the bases after an iconic homerun. But the face looks more like one of the barbers from Coming To America.

 Kirby Puckett Statue:

Barber from Coming To America:

One At Bat...To Extend A Legacy

David Ortiz is going to come to the plate tonight with a chance to shut up his critics and extend his legacy for just a bit longer.

He will be the first batter up when the Red Sox continue their suspended game from last night.  It will be the bottom of the ninth and the game will be tied.

A home run, and we can hold onto "David Ortiz the hero" for a little bit longer. A strike out (or a bad out) and the haters are going to continue to pile on the hatred.

Yes, this is a regular season game. But to Ortiz, this is an opportunity. And in our little corner of the baseball universe, the mighty Casey is coming up to bat.

Red Sox Lose 8 – 0, Bruins Lose To Sabres...What A SUCKY Sports Day

Yesterday was just a flat out SUCKY sports day. Red Sox got blown out, the Bruins lost in Buffalo. Needless to say, I had a hard time reading the sports pages today.

This video best expresses how I feel today.

two girls having a slap-in-the-face contest



And thats all I have to say.

NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs Highlight Of The Day

The Bruins lost so Im not even going to talk about that game.

The game of the night was probably the Canadiens / Capitals game but Im not going to show highlights from that game because the Canadiens won I hate the Canadiens and their fans (they are some of the most arrogant fans in all of sports).

Heres the highlight of the night. Watch the background as three different Kings players are in the penalty box.

Enjoy:

Celtics Fans Show Excitement In Very Homo Erotic Way

Watch how excited these dudes get when they realize the camera is on them.

I dont know about you, but when I get excited I dont simulate oral sex on my buddys.

THE PUNCH

We've all seen the video of Matt Cooke getting knocked out cold by Evander Kane.

Well, heres something for the wallpaper on your computer. Call it "the punch."

BOOYA

Massachusetts Bank Robbers Prefer Red Sox Hats

So I was browsing MassMostWanted.com which is an online database of surveillance images of Massachusetts' most wanted criminals.

I clicked on "Bank Robbers” and was stunned to see how many bank robbers in Massachusetts wore Red Sox hats while robbing banks.

I mean, why not Celtics hats or Bruins hats? Why not old fashioned ski caps? John Henry, Larry Lucchino and Tom Werner must be so proud.

George Steinbrenner Makes Awkward Appearance At Yankee Stadium For Ring Ceremony

George Steinbrenner was in attendance last night as the Yankees received their World Series rings but it seemed more like a scene out of Weekend At Bernies.

I know, I know.  Its taboo to talk about Steinbrenners health.  Hell, NO ONE in the media will talk it.

Im going to guess that the Yankees, who own the YES network, told them not to show Steinbrenner on tv and probably had their goons pay a visit to the local newspapers to tell them not to write about his health.

Well, sometimes you gotta call a spade a spade.  And I wouldnt doubt it George Steinbrenner has been dead for a few years and is simply being rolled around like Bernie at Weekend At Bernies.

Its ok to discuss the sad state of New Yorks “sacred saint” George Steinbrenner.

As Red Sox fans, we’ve had to hear endless jokes about Ted Williams’ head being used for batting practice, people dressing like a headless Ted Williams for Halloween, etc etc.


Ted Williams is the one untouchable in Red Sox lore.

He is the one who shall never be blasted. But that never stopped anyone from talking about his awkward and bizarre end.

But back to Steinbrenner. For all we know George Steinbrenner is a walking corpse right now.

We dont know if he had a stroke, has alzheimer's or is as dead as Bernie from Weekend At Bernies.

Hey Yankees organization, its time. Its time to talk about your fallen leader. I know its a tough conversation to have, but the veil of secrecy is wearing thin.

And if it hurts to say it out loud, just remember that you have 27 World Series Championships and Boston sucks, yadda yadda yadda.


RELATED MASSHOLE SPORTS ARTICLE:
Yankees Lose Patriarch, Baseball Loses Spoiled A Brat Owner Who Ruined Baseball

The Case For Tim Wakefield To Remain A Starter

Tim Wakefield is 17 wins away from tying Roger Clemens and Cy Young for all time wins by a Red Sox pitcher (Wakefield has 175, Roger Clemens and Cy Young have 192). He deserves a chance to break that record.

We’ve been hearing rumblings that when Dice K gets back, Wakefield may move to the bullpen.

Heres the case for Wakefield staying in the rotation:

Wakefield has been THE quintessential team player. He has been moved from the starting rotation to the bullpen, back to the starting rotation more than a few times in his career and he never once complained.

And lets not forget that in 2004 he was left off the ALCS roster and didn’t say a thing about it. He knew it was best for the team so he did it.

He wasn’t bitter. He didn’t make statements to the media, demand a trade or call out the organization like players typically do.

He deserves a chance to tie and/or pass Roger Clemens and Cy Young on the Red Sox all time wins list. Period.

This Is Why Yankees Beat Writers SUCK

When Yankees pitcher Chan Ho Park explains that he played poorly on opening day because he had diarrhea, one reporter starts laughing like a little school girl.

Just imagine if Chan Ho Park had used the word “poop.” The reporter probably would have rolled on the floor laughing.

GROW UP! Be professional. This guy should lose his job over this. This is embarrassing.

“Masshole” TV Show Becoming A Reality!

Its happening! The rumors about MTV doing a reality show based on Massholes are true.

The producers of Jersey Shore have put out a casting call for "massholes." Well, the name of the show wont be Massholes, it will be "Wicked Summah."

If you want to audition for the show, you must do so online at the official casting website: WickedSummahCasting.com

Here's the official casting call from Popular Productions / Doron Ofir Casting:

You'll pahty on the beaches of the Cape where Roast Beef subs and cases of Narragansett Light are on every Celtics towel next to a bottle of baby oil and a can of hair spray! Are you down for one wicked cool summah, and be a part of the most wicked reality show evah!

If you apply, represent well! No poser from the suburbs who CLAIM to be Massholes. You better be able to recite the Red Sox starting line up within 10 seconds.

And dont over do it and show up covered head to toe in Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics and Bruins gear. You will no doubt get your ass kicked by either the token guido or the token Irishman.

The more I think about it, the more I can see a Masshole civil war erupting on this show. Just imagine a scarley cap wearing, white faced irish kid from Southie and a Revere guido living in the same house.

The rest of the country will be laughing at us while the cast members go out to bars and picks fights with each other.

Lyndon Byers To Fight Eric "Butterbean" Esch In First Ever MMA Fight In Massachusetts

Bruins tough guy Lyndon Byers, also known as “LB” from the Hill Man Morning Show on WAAF, on is getting into MMA.

Byers is scheduled to fight former boxer Eric "Butterbean" Esch in a mixed martial arts event at the DCU Center in Worcester on May 21st.

This event is being called “Ultimate Cage Fighting” and will be the fist mixed martial arts fight in Massachusetts ever.

Lets hope in the future, we see better matches. Im sure state politicians didn’t have garbage like this in mind when the legalized mma in this state.

Watch Eric "Butterbean" Esch Fight:

Boston Sports Blogapalooza Will Be May 2nd At The Baseball Tavern

Come out and play! The 1st Annual Boston Sports Blogapalooza is being held Sunday, May 2 at the Baseball Tavern from 12PM-6PM.

Im going to be there. And so should you!

Drink, mingle, talk sports and watch the Red Sox play the Orioles at 1:30.

Show up and represent Masshole Sports!

There will be live bands, The Hootchies and Brian Richard and as of right now, the following companies will be represtented: Supahfans, Sully's, Bottomline Sox, Lowell Spinners, Swing Juice and Wachusett Brewery.

The following bloggers will be there as well:

TheBaseballPage
BaseballReflections
BostonSportsMediaWatch
CelticsTown
HubHockey
TheHockeyWriters
YawkeyTalkies
SportsGirl
RedsArmy
RespectTheTek
No I In Blog
SomethingsBruin
SoxSpace
TownieNews
SoxyLady
and yours truly Masshole Sports!!

BostonSportsBlogapalooza.com


Boston Sports Blogapalooza Facebook Page

Bruins To Face Buffalo Sabres In First Round Of Playoffs...Tukka Rask Has OWNED The Sabres This Year

So the Bruins ended up finishing #6 in the Eastern Conference and will face the #3 Buffalo Sabres. Pretty interesting.

FYI, the Bruins are 4-2-0 against Buffalo this season (Rask is 4-1-0, Thomas got the other loss).

Also FYI, Tukka Rask finished the season with the BEST Goals Against Average in the league and the BEST Save Percentage in the league.

Yea, pretty frickin sweet.

Sabres goalie Ryan Miller finished second on those categories.

This series is going to be all about the goaltending and considering Marc Savard, Andrew Ference AND Dennis Seidenberg are all out for the Bruins, expect lots of 1 – 0 games.

Neither of these teams knows how to score.

Here’s the Bruins Playoff Schedule (with tv channels and times):

Thursday, April 15 at Buffalo, 7:00 p.m. NESN
Saturday, April 17 at Buffalo, 1:00 p.m. NBC
Monday, April 19 at Boston, 7:00 p.m. VERSUS
Wednesday, April 21 at Boston, 7:00 p.m. VERSUS
Friday, April 23 at Buffalo, 7:00 p.m. NESN
Monday, April 26 at Boston, 7:00 p.m NESN
Wednesday, April 28 at Buffalo, 7:00 p.m. NESN

Click here to see the complete NHL playoffs matchups and tv schedule

And no, I don’t have any predictions. I don’t do predictions. Predictions annoy the hell out of me because most “experts” NEVER pick the team who actually ends up winning it all.

VIDEO: There ARE Hockey Gods! Matt Cooke Gets Knocked Out Cold

Yes Bruins fans, there ARE Hockey Gods! Last night, Matt Cooke got knocked out with one punch by Evander Kane of the Atlanta Thrashers. Grab your popcorn and enjoy the video:




Nothing gives me more joy than seeing this cheap shotting bastard get knocked out cold. And for all you people who think its wrong for me to find joy in seeing Matt Cookes lie motionless on the ice, just watch his cheap shot of Marc Savard again.

Its called KARMA.

VIDEO: Tiger Woods You Suck God Dammit!

His word not mine.

Tiger Woods Says "Tiger Woods You Suck God Dammit!" On Live TV