Where Does Roger Clemens’ Mug Shot Rank Among Other Yankees Mug Shots?

You must admit, Roger Clemens' mug shot looks alot like a drivers license photo. He is well groomed, well dressed, showing some teeth and it even looks as though he frosted his hair for the occasion.

Anyway, here are some notable Yankee mugshots.  You must give Roger credit, he takes the cake when it comes to Yankee mug shots (all photos courtesy thesmokinggun.com)

ROGER CLEMENS 2010 six-counts of perjury, obstruction of justice

JOBA CHAMBERLAIN 2008 drunk driving

CHUCK KNOBLAUCH 2009 assault / domestic violence

JIM LEYRITZ 2007 felony DUI manslaughter

DWIGHT GOODEN too much to list

Shaq Engaged To Reality TV Star Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander And Moving To Sudbury?

A little birdie told me at new Celtic big man Shaquille O’Neal has rented a house in the suburbs of Boston. Sudbury to be exact.

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Really Shaq? You are going to live in Subdbury, Massachusetts? I figured Shaq to be more of a city guy. Boston has plenty of high end penthouses to chose from, yet Shaq chose Sudbury?

I guess he is a little more domesticated than we thought. Maybe his choice has something to do with the fact that he recently proposed to his girlfriend Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander.

Oh, you don’t know who Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander is? She was the winner of VH1’s Flavor Of Love and I Love Money. Since being on those trashy reality shows, she is “pursing a career in modeling and acting.”

See more pictures below:

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Slap Shot Movie Trailer Done Inception Style

Bizarre.

Bull In Spain Jumps Into Crowd...Somewhere Ron Artest Is Reliving His Darkest Moment

The first thing I thought of when I saw the video of the bull jumping into the crowd was the Ron Artest situation back in Detroit in 2004.

The similarities are eery. Lets analyze.

Ron Artest was provoked when someone clearly threw a cup of beer at him.

Now before you go judging the bull, consider the fact that there are numerous people in the stands wearing red shirts. I mean, cmon. Even the dumbest among us know that bulls are prone to charge at red blankets.

The only significant differences in the two situations are the fact that Ron Artest (and teammates) didnt send anyone to the hospital and in the Artest situation people actually fought back.

Watch for yourself and feel free to analyze.

Ron Artest going into stands:



Bull going into stands:

Antonio Cromartie On HBOs Hard Knocks Struggling To Name All Of His Kids (sad)

This is from the HBO Series Hard Knocks, which chronicles the New York Jets.

Watch Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie struggle to name all eight of his kids.



On a side note, am I the only one who finds it strange that he has three kids that are three years old and one kid who will turn three in December? Either he got their ages wrong or he had a busy 2007.

Matt Ryan Couldn’t Get Tom Brady To “open up and pass along trade secrets.” Maybe He Should Go Into His Dreams And Steal Them

According to the Boston Herald, Matt Ryan couldn’t get Tom Brady to “open up and pass along any trade secrets” during the Patriots and Falcons joint practice.

Um...Matt Ryan is as smooth as sand paper. Doesn’t  he know that if he wants Tom Bradys secrets he has to hire Leonardo DiCaprio to enter Tom Bradys dreams and steal them out of a huge safe?

(if you havent seen Inception then that just went way over your head).

Why on Gods green Earth would a 5 time Pro Bowler, 2 time Super Bowl MVP reveal secrets to an “up-and-comer" like Matt Ryan.

Seriously, I don’t know which takes more balls--asking an established quarterback to reveal his tricks of the trade or giving the proverbial middle finger to someone who asks you to reveal your tricks of the trade.

Kudos to Tom Brady  for giving Matt Ryan the proverbial middle finger and saying, "I don’t give away my ideas too easily.  I’ve worked a long time for my ideas. I’ve been through a lot of games. You’ve got to really let the other competitors figure it out for themselves.” (source Boston Herald)

I mean, what did Matt Ryan expect? The “ol’ college try” might work for a country boy like Peyton Manning but Tom Brady is a little smarter than that. And a little harder to penetrate.

Im sure its common place for a young quarterback to pick the brain of a hall of famer but not a hall of famer who is still playing.

Maybe Matt Ryan gave himself too much credit.  Maybe he thought that he deserves to know the secrets of Tom Brady without learning them himself.  Just like that kid in high school who would cheat off me during tests.

VIDEO: Astros Fan Catches Foul Ball With Hat While Talking On Cell Phone

Give this dude some credit. People in Massachusetts cant even drive while talking on their cell phones. This guy catches a foul ball WITH HIS HAT while talking on his cell phone.




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Because The Red Sox Were Off Last Night...

The Red Sox were off last and there was NOTHING on, so I did my duty as a blogger and trolled the internet for awesome videos to share with the world.

File this one under “friggin bizarre.” Two ice cream truck drivers are having a turf war and get into a fist fight (fight starts around the 2:00 minute mark). Keep your eye on the guy in the white shirt. He is the driver of one of the ice cream trucks and appears to be calling the police on the other ice cream truck driver while shouting racial slurs. Then the fists start flying.




This is without a doubt THE weirdest looking animal on the planet being fed soda...and it doesnt react kindly.



File this one under “worst slip of the tongue of all time.”



I hate off nights.



MacGruber On DVD Sept 7th

There Is No Way To Sugar Coat It. Jacoby Ellsbury Is A Pussy

There is no other way to describe Jacoby Ellsbury other than pussy.

What am I supposed to say? Any other analysis of the situation just wouldnt make any sense. Its not like he took got drilled in the ribs with a 98 mph fast ball or got another Adrian Beltre knee to the chest.

Ellsbury got touched by Texas Rangers pitcher Tommy Hunter on Friday night, tumbled to the ground and re injured his rib.  This guy is pissa.

That wasn’t exactly a “crushing blow” by any standards.  Well, I would understand if someone over 70 years old fell like that and broke a hip, but a 26 year old professional athlete should be able to take a fall like that and walk away.

You gotta admit, going on the DL because you tumbled to the ground is pretty friggin wimpy.

After spending over two months resting and rehabbing Ellsbury should be as healthy as an ox. His body hasn’t exactly seen much wear and tear this season.  Its been months and months of strength and conditioning...and he goes on the DL after a taking a tumble that my grandfather could hanlde?

Then there are the fans.  For reasons unknown to me, fans welcomed him back with open arms after missing over two months to rehab his ribs after the first “injury.”

I cant imagine they will welcome him back so warmly when he comes back (if he comes back). Ive been calling him the new Manny Ramirez. I think he just proved he is deserving of that title.

Barstool Sports Is The Latest Blog To RIP OFF Masshole Sports! WTF!?!?!

Earlier this week, I called out Boston Dirt Dogs for using an obscure picture of a Red Sox coffin three days after I used that picture here on Masshole Sports (see my article here).

Well, Ive decided that Im going call out any media outlet and any petty blogger who blatantly steals my pictures or is “inspired” by me and doesn’t cite me as a source.

The latest victim, Barstool Sports.

Heres a past Masshole Sports post with a picture/graphic that I MADE:

Heres Barstool Sports today:

And memo to you fucktards at Barstool Sports, dont tell me that you simply did a google image search and didnt know this picture was mine.  If you do a google image search for "98.5 vs weei" you will see that picture and clicking on that picture brings you to (drumroll please) MassholeSports.com.

Because Yesterdays Red Sox Game Was So Tough To Watch...

What Jonathan Papelbon did last night has left an incredibly bitter taste in my mouth.  He ruined my Thursday night and he ruined my Friday (so far). 

So here are some cute videos of animals.  Hope these help brighten up your day and help us forget what happened yesterday.


Drunk Dog Trying To Bark:





Goat Who Yells Like A Human:




Dog Giving Grandma An "Afternoon Delight"

Papelbon Pisses Away Another One

Jonathan Papelbon doing what he does best

Has Papelbon EVER been pulled during a tie game in the middle of an inning??? Wow.

And I wonder how Papelbon feels about Bard coming in to try and fix his mess?

Lets do the math. Six blown saves this season PLUS a younger harder throwing stud in the bullpen PLUS Mariano Rivera is getting older and the Yankees will need a reliever soon.

The writing is on the wall. Time to burn that Papelbon tshirt folks.

And after all this, Papelbon gives us the quote of the year. After the game he told reporters, "I didn’t execute my job."

Either Papelbon is the biggest meat head we've seen on this team since Trot Nixon or he thinks we are all meat heads.

The reporter should have replied, "no der."


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Is This A Soccer Goal Celebration Or A Bunch Of Drama Club Dorks Being Lame?

These soccer players have to learn that theres a difference between a “celebration” and “acting out a scene.”

I don’t see whats celebratory about pretending to give birth or acting like a wind up doll. Soccer is lame.




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Saltalamacchia Called Up From Pawtucket. Will He Wear Roger Clemens’ Number 21 ?

Tonight we will find out once and for all if the Red Sox have “unofficially” retired Roger Clemens’ number 21 or not.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia, who has been recalled from Pawtucket, will be in uniform for the Red Sox tonight in Toronto.

Saltalamacchia wore number 21 for the Texas Rangers and presumably will want to wear number 21.

But the question remains, is number 21 available.

No Red Sox player has worn number 21 since Roger Clemens left the team in 1996 and certain Red Sox personal have actually been told that number 21 wasn’t available.

Take current Red Sox first base coach Ron Johnson for example. Ron Johnson, who wore number 21 in the minors, came to spring training this season fully expecting to wear number 21.

Yet when he arrived, he was told that he would be issued number 50 instead of his desired number 21.

The Red Sox have not officially retired number 21. They simply don’t issue it. So I guess you can call it an “unofficially” retired number.

It will be interesting to see what number Saltalamacchia wears tonight.

And it will be interesting to see if the Red Sox front office has finally let go of Clemens? Lets hope so. I think we can all agree its time.

Chiarelli May Get Early Christmas Present: Savard Contract May Be Nixed

According to the Boston Herald, the NHL is investigating Marc Savards seven year contract.

The NHL believes the contract is structured to intentionally manipulate the salary cap and they may void the contract, making Marc Savard a free agent.

How does is manipulate the salary cap you ask?

Savard is due to earn a lot less money in the final two years of the deal, making the average salary cap hit relatively low.

The first two years of the contract Savard will make $7 million. The third year he will make $6.5 million, then $5 million the fourth year, $1.5 million the fifth and $525,000 in each of the final two.

Voiding this contract would be a gift to the Bruins. Peter Chiarelli has been trying to dump Marc Savard and his contract ever since the Bruins drafted Tyler Seguin.

Just When You Thought You Were Out, The Red Sox Pull You Back In

Before the four game series with the Yankees, a lot of people were saying that if the Red Sox swept, they’d be right back in the pennant race. If they GOT swept, they would be out of it.

Well they split the series, winning two of four and seem to be in state of purgatory—they aren’t dead, but they aren’t exactly alive.

So we keep watching. Because the reality is that they are only 4.5 games back in the Wild Card race and still have a chance.

Dustin Pedroia is expected to play in Pawtucket this weekend and is aiming to return to the Red Sox on Tuesday. Jacoby Ellsbury is back and seems to be 100%.

And so just when you think the Red Sox are out of contention, just when you think they are irrelevant, just when you start paying attention to the Patriots, the Red Sox pull us back in.

So stay tuned…..its hard not to.

Is The Local Media Inspired By Masshole Sports?

I know who runs this town. Its not the big time media outlets. It’s bloggers like me!

Now I know BostonDirtDogs has gone to the shitter over the past few years.  They sold out to the Boston Globe a few years ago and arent even really a blog anymore.  Now-a-days they just post creative headlines and links to Globe articles. Its basically a portal for the Boston Globe website.

But they have hit a new low.

Check this out. This is what I posted here on Masshole Sports on August 6th:

And heres what BostonDirtDogs posted on August 9th (three days after I posted the coffin picture)

I don’t know whether I should be flattered or insulted. I mean, they didn’t directly rip me off…but I don’t think it's a coincidence that they used a Red Sox coffin three days after I did.

I mean really, what are the chances that this is merely a coincidence?

Also note the headline of this WEEI.com story on August 9th (three days after my article). Another coincidence?

You're telling that someone at WEEI.com DIDNT read my blog and get inspired by my headline?  Cmon now.

RELATED ARTICLES:
Barstool Sports Is The Latest Blog to RIP OFF Masshole Sports!

THE Most Annoying Red Sox / Yankees Argument Ever

Its not just Yankee fans who are douchebags. We in Red Sox Nation have a few douches of our own:




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Mike Lowell On Delgado Signing: “we'll see if he gets to Boston” huh?

The Red Sox have signed Carlos Delgado to a minor league contract and Mike Lowell had a bizarre reaction.

According to WEEI.com: Mike Lowell was asked Saturday about the signing of veteran first baseman Carlos Delgado to a minor-league contract. Lowell has played first base in each of the last two games for the Sox and is in the lineup Saturday. "We'll see if he gets to Boston," said Lowell of Delgado.

What? Should Delgado hire someone to start his car or something? What the hell did Lowell mean by that?

Lowell has every right to be frustrated.  He's been waiting all season for a chance to start, and with the Kevin Youkilis thumb injury, he did get his chance.

But with this Delgado signing, it all but means Mike Lowells career is over.  As the primary first baseman Mike Lowell would have had the chance to show the rest of the league that he can still play and he could have showcased himself, with the hopes of signing a contract for next season.



Now that Delgado is in the picture, who knows.

I just wonder what Lowell has up his sleeves for Delgado. Hey Carlos, if you wake up tomorrow and your tires are slashed, I think we know who the primary suspect is.

Red Sox Fan Photo Of The Week

How Does Heidi Watney do it? How does she put up with these slobs who stare and drool at her all the time. Memo to creepy guy: pay the $10 cover charge and go to the Squire. Over there, at least they get paid to let guys stare at their asses.

On that note, lets take a look at all the creeps (famous and mundane) who have been caught staring at Heidi Watney:

Erin Andrews staring at Heidi Watney's ass:

Creepy cameraman at Rogers Centre:

Horny teenager:

Former Red Sox GM Theo Epstein staring at Heidi Watney's chest:

Woman staring at Heidi Watney's ass:

Fenway Park security guard staring at Heidi Watney's ass:

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