Josh Beckett Throws ANOTHER Stinkah...Thanks For A Wasted Season Kid

Last night Josh Beckett gave up 4 runs, 11 hits, 4 walks and had 5 strikeouts.

Beckett is 6-6 on the season with a 5.78 ERA.

Gee, I wonder if his four-year, $68 million contract extension that he signed at the beginning of the season has anything to do with stinkah of a season.

If Josh Beckett had gone 20-3 this season with a 2.23 ERA, he gets paid $68 million over the next four years.

If he goes 6-6 with a 5.78 ERA, he gets paid $68 million over the next four years.

History tells us that players in contract years perform better, see Adrian Beltre and David Ortiz (who is playing for his team option).

With a four year, $68 million contract set to kick in no matter what kind of season he had, where was the motivation to perform? Should he have put in the extra work and dedication for the sake of pride? Na, Josh Beckett doesnt play for pride.

For the fans? Na, Josh Beckett doesnt care how the fans view him.

Josh Beckett isnt of the same mold as Kevin Youkilis or Dustin Pedroia. Shame on Theo for giving him the money and thinking he was.

And thank you Josh Beckett for ruining the Red Sox playoffs chances. Or should I be thanking Theo Epstein?

Delonte "Wild Wild" West Says "I'll go to war and die for this team" What?

Does anyone else find it kinda disturbing that Delonte West chose to say “I'll go to war and die for this team.”

That just doesn’t seem to be an appropriate analogy considering what he’s been through.

This is a guy was caught driving his three-wheeled motorcycle with “two loaded handguns, a shotgun and a large knife with a significant amount of ammunition” according to reports.

He pleaded guilty to misdemeanor weapons charges and was sentenced to eight months of court supervised electronic monitoring, 40 hours of community service and psychological counseling (it is also reported that West has been in treatment for bi-polar disorder for the last two years prior to the arrest).

And if you didnt already know, West has been suspended for the first ten games of the season because of this "situation."

He must have looked like something out of Mad Max on that fateful day.

Anyway, forget the psychological counseling. Delonte West needs a better publicist. Or maybe someone to do his interviews for him.

Red Sox Finally Put Out Of Their Misery…I Mean “Officially Eliminated”

The upcoming weekend series with the Yankees is no doubt going to be morbid.

We will see the corpse of the 2010 Red Sox playing a Yankees team that has already clinched a playoff birth…and appears to be headed for their second World Series in two years.

The word in the Red Sox clubhouse seems to be “disappointed.”

Jason Varitek was asked about the Red Sox not going to playoffs this year.  He said, “It’s disappointing.”

Terry Francona was asked what he felt about not making the post season.  He replied, “I guess disappointment. It’s no fun going home before you want to, regardless of what’s happened.”

We knew this season was over in late August when the Red Sox lost two out of three to the Rays but not its official.

The 2010 Red Sox are officially eliminated from post season play.  There will be no champagne, no Papelbon dancing.  No post season.

Shaq Would Have Played With Celtics For Free

Shaquille O’Neal told WEEI that he would have played for the Celtics for free this season.

We know he is sincere because we know for a fact that Shaq had better offers on the table and turned them down to play here in Boston.

He turned down $8 million from the Atlanta Hawks and Detroit Pistons.So the dude isn’t just blowing smoke.

I must admit, it is refreshing to see a professional athlete who isn’t driven by money. Shaq is motivated by another NBA Championship, plain and simple.

He has the Tom Brady gene. The Kevin Garnett gene. The gene that Manny Ramirez never had.

Savor it Celtics fans.  A player like Shaquille O’Neal only comes along once a generation.  And you are lucky enough to see him play for your team.

Meanwhile, Over In Red Sox Nation

Red Sox 6, White Sox 1 [box score]

David Ortiz to critics after reaching 100 RBIs: “I'd like to know what they have to say about me”

Clay Buchholz on winning 17 games this year: "It's been pretty fun this season"

Adrian Beltre on reaching 100 RBI mark: "I was just waiting for Big Papi to get his so I could follow him”

Celtics Hold Media Day In Waltham

• Delonte West on Lebron James mom rumors: “I come from an era where you don’t even say nothing bad about someone’s parents, so not at all (true).”
  
• Kendrick Perkins on Game 7 of the Finals : "If I would have played we would have won.”
• Kendrick Perkins: "My spot is not up for grabs"
• Paul Piere: "You can just kinda feel the energy around here"
• Kevin Garnett: "The summer was very painful, very dark.”

Patriots Quick Hits

Patriots 38, Bills 30 [box score]

• Tom Brady on crowd: "I thought they were great"
• Randy Moss on how he feels about being tied with Ben Coates for second on the Patriots' all-time touchdowns list: “Aw man, it's just going to work."
• Tom Brady On The Fist Pump:  “ I was just excited. I’m the slowest guy on the field, so it was probably the last thing they worked on.”
• Jerod Mayo: "Our defense is very alarming."
• Tom Brady on Danny Woodhead: "He did great. What an impressive performance for a guy who’s been here for 10 minutes."

Red Sox Magic Number Down To 16

As of right now, the Red Sox magic number to clinch a playoff birth is 16.

Believe me, the odds are stacked against them. And it would be a comeback of epic proportions--bigger than the 2004 ALCS comeback against the Yankees.

But, as Llyod Christmas so eloquently put it, there is a chance.



A win tonight and the Red Sox would be 4.5 games behind the Yankees in the Wild Card with six games left in the season--three against the hapless White Sox and three against the Yankees.

Im just sayin.

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Just A Reminder, New Yorkers Are Still Douchebags

So, tonight the Red Sox start a meaningless three game series against the Yankees. Theres really nothing to talk about so I just figured Id remind you Massholes why New Yorkers are douchebags.

Enjoy:



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Tom Brady On His Justin Bieber Haircut: "speak to my wife about that"

So it turns out Gisele Bundchen is the reason Tom Brady wears a mop on his head (Justin Bieber style).  Brady was on WAAF’s The Hill Man Morning Show and spilled the beans about his hair.

Greg Hill asked Tom Brady, “Is there anything I can do to make you cut your hair.”

Brady’s response, “Ah, you’ll have to speak to my wife about that.”

Ouch.

The funny thing is Tom Brady probably paid around $200 for that haircut when SuperCuts would have given him a better cut for $12.

other Masshole Sports articles:

Gisele Bundchen Calls For “worldwide law” Forcing Women To Breastfeed For Up To Six Months

Red Sox Players Wives: The Hot And The Mediocre

BOMBSHELL: Brian Scalabrine Leaves Celtics For Bulls

The only white guy expected to make the Celtics roster has left the team. Brian Scalabrine has signed with the Chicago Bulls after being the token white guy on the Celtics for the past five seasons.

His nine-year career scoring average is 3.3 points per game. I know what you are thinking—with a 3.3 career scoring average why was he on the team?  hmmm Gee, I wonder (see picture below).

2009 - 2010 Celtics

related Masshole Sports articles:

Shaq Engaged To Reality TV Star Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander

FIRST LOOK: Shaquille O'Neal In Number 36 Celtics Jersey

ESPN Documentary “Four Days In October” About Red Sox 2004 ALCS Comeback To Air October 5th

So ESPN does these lame documentaries called “30 For 30.” On October 5th they will be airing one about the Red Sox comeback in the 2004 ALCS.

This one actually looks pretty good. Check out the trailer:

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DEFEAT

Patriots 14, Jets 28 [box score]

Tom Brady : "We just sucked"

Randy Moss: "We didn’t handle adversity well"

Bill Belichick: "They just did a better job"

VIDEO: postgame comments from Bill Belichick, Tom Brady and Randy Moss

Is Marc Savard The New Jacoby Ellsbury?

Umm....can you say Jacoby Ellsbury part duex?

If Marc Savard hadnt been shopped around this offseason, then I would believe his claim that he is suffering from post concussion syndrome.

But lets not be naïve. After signing a seven year deal and being a “point per game” player for this team, the Bruins this off season tried to dump Savard like he was a nobody—like he was a chump.

Then after failing to trade him for a bag of pucks, they seriously expect him to show up to training camp happy?

Would you show up to the prom with a girl who is only going with you because she couldn’t dump you?

According to NECN: Chiarelli said that Savard – who was not present for any of the Bruins Captain's practices – was in Boston last week, and the player and GM went out golfing to smooth out some of the "hurt feelings" remaining from a summertime of trade rumors.

Someone has to tell Peter Chiarelli that once you open Pandoras Box...it cant be closed.

This is going to get ugly. And its sad because Bruins have so much potential this season. They seem poised to finally make Stanley Cup finals run.

They have the players to do it, they have the coach to do it, they now have the experience to do it...and Peter Chiarelli found a way to screw it up.

Chemistry is a powerful thing. It can take a mediocre team deep into the playoffs. It can also tear a team with apart.

Stay tuned...

Pete Sheppard Is Back With His Own Show On Patriots.com Called “The Pete Sheppard Show”

Pete Sheppard is back on the airwaves…sorta.

He will host his own web show on Patriots.com appropriately called “The Pete Sheppard Show” which will be broadcast 4 pm to 6 pm every Tuesday starting next week.

Sheppard told the Boston Herald, “I really missed it. It’s going to be great to get back on.”

He also told the Boston Herald that he plans to have current and former athletes on his Web show as well as “media types.”

Well, this isn’t exactly a radio or tv gig, but it’s something.

For the past few months since being laid off from WEEI Sheppard has been playing in poker tournaments and going for lots of "walks on the beach" according to his facebook status updates.

I think its safe to say that he’s back where he belongs. Pete Sheppard was great as the host of WEEI's Patriots Real Post Game Show (which is now hosted by Bob Neumeier YUCK) and Im sure he’ll be great as host of “The Pete Sheppard Show.”

Lets just hope people tune in.

NY Criminals May Prefer Yankees Caps But Massachusetts Criminals Prefer (drumroll please) Red Sox Caps. No Der.

According to the Nytimes.com: dozens of men and women who have robbed, beaten, stabbed and shot at their fellow New Yorkers have done so while wearing Yankees caps or clothing. It defies an easy explanation. Criminologists, sports marketing analysts, consumer psychologists and Yankees fans have developed their own theories.

The New York Times is trying to intellectualize something that is incredibly mundane. I mean cmon. Trying to figure out why criminals in New York tend to wear Yankees hats is a waste of paper.

If an unusually high amount of criminals in the-middle-of-nowhere Nebraska wore Yankees hats, then sure lets discuss it.

Heres a small sample of bank robbers in Massachusetts from the past year. What do they have in common?

They are from Massachusetts and they are wearing Red Sox hats. WOW! AMAZING ISNT IT!  I should write for the New York Times.

The New York Times sucks…almost as bad as the Jets.

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Tyler Seguin To Be Showcased At Bruins Rookie Game Tonight

Tyler Seguin will finally play his first game in Boston.

Tonight, the Bruins will hold the first of their two rookie games at the TD Garden.

Bruins phenom Tyler Seguin is expected to play as well as prospects Joe Colborne and Jordan Caron.

The rookie game was originally scheduled to be played in Shelton, Connecticut but with the abundance of young prospects in the system, the smaller arena probably wouldn’t be able to handle the crowd that is expected to show up.

So tonight Bruins fans will get their first look at Tyler Seguin in real game conditions, not just drills and intra squad scrimmages.

When the regular season begins, Seguin is expected to play on a line with Patrice Bergeron and Marc Recchi. No word on whether he will play center or wing tonight.

We do know that he will have his shirt on.

Bruins defensive prospects Yury Alexandrov and Ryan Button are also expected to play.


other Masshole Sports articles:

• (VIDEO) Adolf Hitler Reacts To Tyler Seguin’s Lack Of Playing Time In Game One
• (VIDEO) Tyler Seguin Dancing In Bruins Locker Room After Winning Stanley Cup, Drinking Bud Lite, Doing The Dougie 
• (VIDEO) In Case You Missed It, Here Are All 3 Of Tyler Seguin's Goals Against Maple Leafs For His First Career Hat Trick

If David Ortiz Hits His 30th Home Run Of The Season And No Ones Sees It, Is It Still A Home Run?

David Ortiz did something historic last night. He became only the third player in Red Sox history to have six 30 home runs seasons.

He also silenced his critics who earlier this season were writing about how he wasn’t the same player he once was…that he was a has-been.

The thing is, it happened in the 8th inning of a game being played on the west coast in September. So did it really happen?

When the Red Sox are out of contention, people stop paying attention. When the Red Sox play west coast games that start at 10pm, people tend to stop watching after say the third inning. And the newspapers don’t always print the box scores in the morning editions.

Its safe to say that David Ortiz is a victim of bad timing. I mean, when he got off to a slow start in April, EVERYONE was paying attention and he was being ripped daily in the media.

When he redeemed himself last night by hitting his 30th home run, thus silencing his critics who were calling him a has been back in April, those critics are busy ripping Randy Moss and talking about Tom Bradys car accident.

Its just not fair. David Ortiz deserves better.

If he plays for the Red Sox next year, he deserves a free pass. Considering the beating he took from the media in April, the redemption in September and the cold shoulder he is receiving today, he has earned it.

Ben Afflecks New Movie “The Town” To Premiere At Fenway Park Tonight

Ben Affleck and his Hollywood friends will be taking over Fenway Park tonight for the world premiere of The Town.

Did I mention that Ben Affleck is a fan of Masshole Sports? No word on whether he will wear his Masshole Sports shirt tonight.

Check back tomorrow for pictures, etc.

other Masshole Sports articles:

PHOTO: Other People With Tom Bradys Hair Cut

Meet Bruins New Stud Tyler Seguin

Red Sox Players Wives: The Hot And The Mediocre

Other People With Tom Brady Hair Cut

Heres what other Boston celebrities would look like with Tom Bradys hair cut.

Clockwise from left Bill Belichick, Deval Patrick, Martha Coakley, Randy Moss, Kevin Youkilis, KiKi the pregnant Franklin Park Zoo gorilla, Gisele Bundchen and Maria Stephanos.

Graphic by Jennifer Roes with special thanks to the Boston Heralds Inside Track girls.

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Tom Brady Contract Is A Done Deal. Will Make $18M Per Season...Thats Less Than Manny Ramirez Made In His Prime

Multiple media outlets are reporting than Tom Bradys contract is a done deal. It will be a four-year extension worth $18 million per season ($72 million total value, only $48.5 million guaranteed).

That’s good money in NFL terms, but its still less than Manny Ramirez made in his prime.

Im not trying to be a “Debbie Downer.” Im just sayin.

Tom Brady 911 Tapes Released !

Kinda eerie.




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Nothing Can Stop The Patriots This Season...Not Even A Red Mini Van

Forget the “experts” over at ESPN. Forget the contraries over at the Boston Herald and Boston Globe (who are petrified of being called homers and tend to pick against the Pats). Forget mini vans that run red lights.

According to Madden 11, nothing can stop the Patriots this season.

Madden 11 has made its 2010 NFL predictions and the computer simulator predicts that the New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl this season.

They predict that the Patriots will defeat the Green Bay Packers.

For the record, EA Sports (the company that makes Madden 11) has accurately predicted the winners in six out of the last seven Super Bowls.

They also correctly predicted the winner of the 2010 Stanley Cup, the Chicago Blackhawks and correctly predicted that Spain would win the 2010 FIFA World Cup.

Call your bookies!

Dice K Takes A Steaming Shit On Red Sox Playoff Hopes

Today, I could talk about Tom Brady signing a new contract or how the Red Sox are prepared to pick up David Ortiz’ $12 option for 2011.

I could talk about how the Red Sox have made Victor Martinez a two year contract offer.

But being the Masshole that I am, Id rather focus on the negative.

Had Dice K come out last night and pitched a gem, today we would all be talking about how the Red Sox may just sweep the Rays and keep their playoff hopes alive.

There would be talk about 2004 and how the Red Sox defied all odds and came back from a  3 – 0 in the ALCS.

But Dice K came out last night and threw a stinker. He took a hot steaming dump on the Red Sox playoff hopes.  There is nothing worse than thinking you have a chance to win it all, only to be knocked out of playoff contention come September.

Make no doubt about it, this team had high hopes in spring training.  With two bonafide aces (see Beckett and Lackey) and two young studs poised to have break-out seasons (see Lester and Buchholz) this team HAD a chance.

Sometimes I wish the Red Sox would start the season without any hope...so we could avoid times like these.  The let down is painful when the build up is so high.

So it all ended last night.  And we are left once again to say what grandpa used to tell us: there's always next year.

Masshole Sports Gets Some Respect !

Via a RedSox.com email poll:

Im going to guess Masshole Sports finished a close third to WEEI and ESPN.