BRUINS FLYERS: ARE YOU READY TO RUUUUUMMMMMBBBLLLLEEEE!!!!

Game 1: today at 3pm on NBC



The Flyers should be a much better match up for the Bruins than the Canadiens were. The Canadiens fell like a ton of bricks anytime the Bruins tried to get physical with them, hence drawing lots of penalties and leaving Bruins fans to complain about the officiating night after night.

The Flyers wont flop...they'll fight back.

It should be noted that the Bruins are 3-0-1 against the Flyers this year and scored 13 goals in those games. Tim Thomas had a 1.96 goals-against average and a .942 save percentage in those games.


The Flyers will probably be as physical as the Bruins. Meaning, less penalties for the Bruins, more fights, more momentum swings and less bitching about the officiating.

Stay tuned…


Ultimate Irony: World's Best Divers In Montreal For Dive Meet April 28th


Its true. There was a diving meet in Montreal on April 28th.

According to the Montreal Gazette: "The event is being used as a qualifier for the Canadian team that will compete at this year’s FINA World Aquatic Championships slated for July in Shanghai, China."

I know Flyers series starts today, but Im still not over Canadiens series.



Remember This Bruins Ad: NEVER, EVER DATE A FLYERS FAN. EVEN IF SHE SHAVES HER MOUSTACHE

This was a real billboard outside the TD Garden during last years Bruins Flyers Series. No word on whether it will be on display again.




other Masshole Sports articles:



A CLASSIC Photo From Game 7



April 27th 2011: I woke up this morning to Barack Obama showing us his birth certificate, I went to bed with the Bruins winning a game 7 against Montreal. What a historic day.


(PHOTO GALLERY) Canadiens Shit The Bed







(VIDEO) Jack Edwards Goes On Epic Rant After Bruins Win. Says Canadiens Are “Hockey Royalty Who Dictate Morality” and Bruins Were “Fighting The Good Fight”

Jack Edwards went on a rant of epic proportions after the Bruins beat the Canadiens last night. He goes on and on like a college professor who thinks he’s making sense but is coming across as more of a lunatic than anything else.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Jack Edwards. And I think he is a great play-by-play guy. But sometimes he just comes across as a little flaky.

Watch the video yourself:





Bruins - Flyers Schedule Announced

Game 1: at Philadelphia, Sat. April 30 @ 3 p.m.
Game 2: at Philadelphia, Mon., May 2, @ 7:30 p.m.
Game 3: at Boston, Wed., May 4 @ 7 p.m.
Game 4: at Boston, Fri., May 6 @ 8 p.m.

*Game 5: at Philadelphia, Sun., May 8 @ 3 p.m.
*Game 6: at Boston, Tues., May 10, TBD
*Game 7: at Philadelphia, Thu., May 12, TBD



Bruins Havent Won A Game 7 Since 1994 (The Year Nancy Kerrigan Got Clubbed, Kurt Cobain Died and OJ Simpson Became A Murderer)

The last time the Bruins won a game 7, it was 21 days after Kurt Cobain killed himself, three months after Nancy Kerrigan got clubbed by Tonya Harding and two months before OJ Simpson killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman.

It was April 29, 1994. The Bruins beat the Montreal Canadiens in game 7 at the Boston Garden.

The Bruins won 5-3 on goals scored by Ray Bourque, Glen Wesley, Ted Donato, Fred Knipscheer, Adam Oates and Glen Murray.

Since then, game 7's havent been very favorable to the Bruins.

In 2004 the Bruins lost to the Canadiens in a Game 7 in Boston. In 2008 the Bruins lost a game 7 to the Canadiens (again), this time in Montreal. In 2009, they lost game 7 to the Carolina Hurricanes at the Garden in overtime. And in 2010 the Bruins lost game 7 to the Flyers in Boston.

Just so you get an idea as to how long its been since the Bruins won a game 7. In the 1993 - 1994 season:
  • Cam Neely scored 50 goals in 44 games
  • The head coach of the Bruins was Brian Sutter
  • Jon Casey was the Bruins goalie and had a 30-15-9 record
  • Adam Oates led the Bruins in points with 112 points (32 goals, 80 assists)
  • The Joe Juneau era ended in 1994 when he was traded to the Washington Capitals for Al Iafrate in March (yes, this was back in the “old days” when the Bruins refused to sign their players and would either let them walk away, or trade them before they became free agents)

Seems like a long time ago, huh? Are you having flashbacks yet?


Canadiens Have Never Lost A Game In Which The Montreal Symphony Orchestra Has Played National Anthem

OSM Music Director Kent Nagano
It’s true. The Montreal Canadiens have never lost a game in which the Montreal Symphony Orchestra has played the National Anthem.

And guess who played the National Anthem before game 6? Yup.

When I read this interesting fact yesterday morning, I laughed. I figured Canadiens fans were grasping for some reason to believe their team would win. But they were right.

The reason the Canadiens won game 6 was because the Montreal Symphony Orchestra played the National Anthems.

And I thought it was bad officiating.


Where Are All The Bruins Viral Videos?

I did a search for "Montreal Canadien fan videos" on youtube and found a ton of really creative rally songs made by their fan.  Sure, they are cheesey but at least the Canadiens fans have made something.

I did a youtube search for “Boston Bruins fan video” and all I could find was a video of a Bruins fan punching Steve Yzerman in the face.

I did a search for "Bruins fan song" and for some reason it led me to a video of some moron from Medford jumping onto the ice during a Bruins Winnepeg Jets game in 1989 and making a run at the ref.  I guess the guy was pissed because Glen Wesley got cut from a high stick and the ref didn’t see it, nor call a penalty. Anyway.


Cmon Bruins fans. The Canadiens have tons of fan videos and alot of them are going viral. The only Bruins rally song I could find was the “Moog Vogue” from twenty years ago.  STEP IT UP!!!!




Is There A Scarier Team In The NBA Right Now Than The Celtics?

The Celtics are the only team in the NBA to sweep their first round opponent. Not only that, but the Celtics held the Knicks to under 100 points in all four games...and thats scary.

And don’t tell me that the Celtics “played the hapless Knicks” and that this sweep doesn’t mean anything.

A sweep is a sweep. Now the Celtics dont play again until Sunday, so they have plenty of time to rest and prepare for the Heat.

Look around the Eastern Conference. Derrick Rose of the Bulls is playing with a sprained ankle, the Heat simply cant finish close games and the Magic may not even make it out of the first round. 

No one in the East seems to be on the same level as the Celtics right now.

The Celtics are the scariest team in the Eastern Conference and, as of today, have to be considered the favorites to come out of the East.

Stay tuned…


Could Spike Lee Dress Any More Goofy At Knicks Games? Thankfully The Series Only Lasted Four Games.

Thankfully the Celtics Knicks series was short and there were only two games played in New York, so we only had to see Spike Lee make a fool of himself twice.

In case you haven’t seen the pictures of Spike Lee at the Knicks games, heres a small photo gallery:


this is what happens when you let a Knicks fan dress himself



where the frig is Spike Lee's neck?




(VIDEO) Is This Canadiens Fan Video The Worst Fan Video Of All Time?

Ive determined that there is nothing more tacky than a Canadian rapping and there is no worse fan video than this one.

The low point comes at around 1:30 when the dude goes off...or thinks he is going off. I dont know whats worse, the fact that he mentions Hal Gill or the lyric "since 93 we await, since our St Patrick the great" (a reference to Patrick Roy).



Rajon Rondo Leads Celtics To Game 3 Win With 20 Assists...Entire Knicks Team Had 18 Assists






(VIDEO) Andrew Ference "History Will Be Made" NHL Promo

Andrew Ference giving the middle finger to Montreal Canadiens fans is a moment that will forever be engrained in Bruins fans minds...and maybe in the minds of all hockey fans. I cant believe how many people in the hockey world are obsessing over this video.

You gotta admit, it is classic. Ference is looking directly at the camera as he gives the middle finger to the Canadiens fans. What makes it classic is that this is the same fan base that booed the United States National Anthem. So if any fanbase deserves to be given the middle finger, it is Canadien fans.

Anyway, remember those "History Will Be Made" promos the NHL ran last season during the Stanley Cup Playoffs? Well, here is the best spoof of those yet:






(VIDEO) Carl Crawford Gets Dollar Bills Thrown At Him In Los Angeles

In the top of the 11th inning, some Angels fans expressed their frustration with Carl Crawford jilting them this offseason by throwing dollar bills at him. No word on whether Crawford picked them up.





(PHOTO) Andrew Ference Gives Middle Finger To Montreal Crowd, And Camera Man

Michael Ryder may have been the hero of game 4 for the Bruins, but Andrew Ference was the star of the game. Watch as Andrew Ference gives the middle finger to the crowd in Montreal after scoring a big goal.

And before you start criticizing Ference for being vulgar and/or rude just remember that this is the same fan base that booed the United States National Anthem. Flipping them the bird doesnt sound too rude now, does it.










related Masshole Sports articles:



MICHAEL FRIGGIN RYDER REDEEMS HIMSELF (And Gives The Bruins Hope)


To all the people who wanted to see Michael Ryder benched for Tyler Seguin this series and to all those people who ripped Michael Ryder a new asshole nightly on sports radio, the man has redeemed himself.

In a game that the Bruins needed in order to have a chance at winning this series, Michael Ryder scored 2 goals and an assist…including the overtime game winner.

Only Nostradamus knew that was going to happen. Anyone else who says they knew Ryder would be the hero tonight is lying.

Michael Ryder has just made amends for all his sins this season.



Someone Has To Tell Tim Thomas The Grunge Look Is Out

Tim Thomas in Lake Placid, N.Y.



Apparently Tim Thomas still thinks its 1994. Someone has to tell him that the grunge look is a thing of the past.

He was skating around the rink at the US Olympic Training Center in Lake Placid, N.Y. in street clothes and looks more like a Pearl Jam groupie than a professional hockey player.

Maybe he’s trying to channel Layne Staley of Alice In Chains to sing a duet of "Down In A Hole" as a tribute to the Bruins being down 2-1 in the series.


(VIDEO) A Grown Man Wearing Canadiens Jersey Taunts Young Bruins Fan After Canadien Goal

And you wonder why the Garden is so loud for Bruins Canadiens games. Dicks like this guy are a lot more common than you think. Canadiens fans are loud, arrogant, stuck up and rude.

No word on whether the father called 911 and demanded a criminal investigation.




Red Sox Sign Gonzalez To 7 Year Contract



The Red Sox have signed Adrian Gonzalez to a seven-year, $154 million contract. The press conference will be at 3pm on NESN.

It is the second largest contract in Red Sox history behind only Manny Ramirez’ eight-year, $160 million contract that was signed in 2000.



NESN POLL: 51% Think Bruins Will Lose To Canadiens

Oh yee of little faith. NESN.com is currently running a poll asking fans “how far do you think the Bruins will go in the playoffs?"

Here are the current results:




Meanwhile Over On The Internet...

How To Get A Guy To Notice You During Sex
I didnt think it was THAT difficult.


How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him


History Says Red Sox Still World Series Contenders Despite 2-9 Record


The Rays beat the Red Sox in a meaningless game in April…awww how cute! Good for them!

Is anyone really concerned? Just an FYI, the 1991 Twins got off to a 2-9 start and went on to win the 1991 World Series.

The 2002 Anaheim Angels started the season 3-8 and eventually won 99 games, and the 2002 World Series.

So is it frustrating watching these games? Hell yes. But does a loss to the Rays in April mean that the AL East is out of reach? Hell no.


Computer Simulator Predicts Bruins Will Defeat Canadiens In Four Games...And Eventually Defeat Canucks To Win 2011 Stanley Cup



The computer has spoken and the computer predicts that not only will the Bruins bounce the Canadiens in four games, the Boston Bruins will win the Stanley Cup this year.

Whatifsports.com simulated the entire Stanley Cup Playoffs 1,001 times using the current season rosters and statistics and the results?

According to their simulator, the Bruins have a 96% chance of beating the Canadiens in the first round, a 78% chance of beating the Penguins in the Conference Semifinals, a 58% chance of beating the Flyers in the Conference Finals and a 35% chance of beating the Canucks in the Stanley Cup Finals.

Too bad they have to play the games in real life. It would be nice to just skip all that stuff and have a parade.


Red Sox Cartoon Of The Day

Courtesy of MacLeod Cartoons


Meanwhile Over On Youtube...

This is 100% real. The dude is an olympic gold medalist.

Gymnast Flips Like A Cartoon




Ask A Pink Hat Is Back!




Ask A Pink Hat is a segment on Toucher & Rich. Basically, after a Red Sox game, they approach a Red Sox fan who is wearing a pink hat and ask them baseball questions.

Warning, if you are a baseball fan you may cringe. Just a heads up, she’s wearing a Pedroia shirt and thinks his name is “Justin” Pedroia...and that’s the least awkward thing she says.

(if the play button doesnt work, click here to hear audio)