Bill Belichick On Social Media: "I don’t twitter, I don't myface, yearbook"

Bill Belichick was asked if he was aware that Ochocinco has been tweeting less since joining the Patriots. Belichick responded, “That’s not something I follow, as you know. I don’t twitter, I don’t myface, yearbook."

Allow me to translate. What Belichick was trying to say was that he doesnt "tweet" he doesnt use "myspace" and he doesnt use "facebook."

What's scary is that Belichick probably thinks that what he said actually made sense. Um...ok grandpa.

Why The Hell Would Someone Have Brandon Meriweather Sign A $100 Bill?

Yes, that's 2-time Pro Bowler Brandon Meriweather’s autograph on a $100 bill.

I would have had him sign my ticket or even a napkin. That $100 bill will probably depreciate in value over the years. Not because of Brandon Meriweather’s autograph, but because the US Dollar continues to drop.

(Via twitter)

(VIDEO) Conan O'Brien Shows Off His Knowledge Of The Boston Bruins

This video is from back in June but I just stumbled upon it tonight. Watch Conan O'Brien show off his knowledge of the Bruins.

(VIDEO) Watch Yankees Fan Gets Hit In The Face With Foul Ball. PISSA.

If you're having a bad day because it is so goddamn hot outside and because the Rich Harden trade fell apart, here's something to cheer you up. Watch this Yankees fan get hit square in the face with a foul ball.

Yes there is blood, and no I dont feel bad because he had plenty of time to get out of the way and didnt.

Timeline Of The Rich Harden Trade And How It Turned To Shit

Last night when I got home from the beach, I heard that the Red Sox had acquired Rich Harden from the A's for minor league first baseman Lars Anderson and a player to be named later.

I was pretty psyched because the Red Sox are pretty well set at first base for a long time and Lars Anderson didnt reall have a future with the Red Sox, so they werent really losing much.

But when I woke up today, I learned that the deal was called off. I did a little research and found a timeline as to what went down (with help from

Saturday July 30th

8:20pm: Jayson Stark of ESPN tweets that the Red Sox are closing in on a deal for Rich Harden.

8:33pm: Nick Cafardo of the Boston Globe says that the deal could involve Lars Anderson, the Red Sox Triple-A first baseman. Anderson was pulled from the Pawtucket lineup in the 7th inning around the same time the trade rumors swirled.

8:35pm: Jason Stark and Kevin Goldstein of Baseball Prospectus confirmed that Anderson and a player to be named later will headed to the Oakland Athletics in the deal.

11:47pm: Susan Slusser of the San Francisco Chronicle reported that Oakland Athletic’s GM Billy Beane told Harden he’s still scheduled to pitch for the A’s Tuesday.

Sunday, July 31

12:05am: Ian Browne of reported that Harden told the Oakland media that there is no deal and that he’s staying with the A’s.

12:36am: Alex Speier of WEEI reports that the Red Sox were not counting on the deal getting done.

1:05am: Finally Speier confirmed that what killed the deal was uncertainty after a review of Harden’s medicals. It led to some issues and broke the deal apart.

10:58am: The Red Sox tried to remove the player to be named later from the deal and just send Anderson after looking at Harden's medicals, and were rebuffed by the A's, tweets Sean McAdam.

Its too bad because, even though Rich Harden is injury prone, he was only making relatively cheap money and Lars Anderson probably isnt going to crack the Red Sox roster...unless he converts to a short stop or starting pitcher.

Ochocinco, Hernandez Sign Contract To Transfer #85. No Money To Be Exchanged.

It turns out Ochocinco didnt pay Aaron Hernandez for #85. Hernandez voluntarily gave it up. But according to ESPN Page 2 Ochocinco did presented Hernandez with a contract that included, among other things:
  • dancing lessons
  • signed Carson Palmer memorabelia
  • a lesson on how to say your new jersey number in spanish

All in exchange for #85.

Heres the contract that Ochocinco presented to Aaron Hernandez according to ESPN Page 2:

(PHOTO) The Day Ochocinco Met Uno Dos

Its gonna be a fun season yall.

Report: Aaron Hernandez Will Wear #81, Gave Ochocinco His #85 On First Day Of Practice

Ian Rapoport just tweeted that Aaron Hernandez was seen wearing #81 shorts and Ochocinco was seen wearing a #85 pullover. Looks like a deal has been made and Ochocinco has already got his #85...not that there was any doubt he would.

I cant wait to hear the terms of the deal. And Hernandez better not say "I gave him #85 because he's a future hall of famer, bla, bla, bla." I want to hear that Ochocinco gave him a kings ransom.

Ochocinco's First Tweet As A Patriot: "I had no idea I was landing in Heaven"

As a life long Patriots fan, I got chills reading Ochocinco's first tweet as a Patriot:

Chad Ochocinco Changed His Twitter Profile Picture

I think its safe to say that Ochocinco has taken the first step towards doing things the Patriots way. He took down the shirtless picture of himself and put a picture of himself shaking hands with Tom Brady.

Chad Ochocinco's twitter page yesterday:

Chad Ochocinco's twitter page today:

First Look: Chad Ochocinco At Patriots Practice Chatting With Brady

Heres something for all you Patriots fans to drool over. Chad Ochocinco at Patriots practice chatting it up with Tom Brady. Friggin booya!

(VIDEO) Josh Beckett Gives A Baseball To A Little Kid And The Kid Cries Like A Baby

Watch this kid lose his shit after Josh Beckett gives him a baseball. This kid is acting as if he was touched by God or something. I wonder if he pissed his pants too.

Ok, Ill back off. I guess when you're ten years old and a baseball players gives you a ball it is a big deal.

Ochocinco Got Traded To The Patriots And Didn’t Tweet About It? Belichick’s Pimp Hand Must Be Strong!

When I heard that Chad Ochocinco had been traded to the Patriots, I checked out his twitter page. And I waited and waited and waited. The dude didn’t tweet about it.

Ochocinco is a twitter addict and he didn’t tweet about getting traded? He had nothing to say to the fans of New England or to the fans of Cincinnati?

I guess Bill Belichick’s pimp hand is strong. Or Ochocinco is already changing his ways.

Anyone Else Think This Is Kinda Strange

Maybe Im being a little naive, but I dont think Chad Ochocinco is anything like Marlon Wayans. One is a professional football player, the other is a goofball who thinks he is funny.

Is This Bruins Snapback The Ugliest Bruins Hat You’ve Ever Seen?

I might sound like an old geezer but didn’t snapback hats go out with the 90s. This hat is actually for sale at Dicks Sporting Goods. I thought the only people who wore snapbacks were senior citizens and those people who seem retarded but you’re not really sure.

I really hope this doesn’t catch on. Its not good for society. I like to think we are moving forward...not dipping back into the early 90s.

Dustin Pedroia Is Beating The Shit Out Of The Ball Right Now

Dustin Pedroia went 4 for 5 and was a home run short of the cycle last night. His hitting streak is at 23 games and he’s reached base in 34 straight games.

Pedroia is a friggin BEAST right now.

Damn Red Sox...U Nasty

After a painful extra innings loss on Monday in which the Red Sox only scored one run, the Red Sox offense put an ass whipping on the Royals. David Ortiz went 4 for 5 with 5 rbi, Dustin Pedroia went 4 for 5 almost hitting for the cycle and Adrian Gonzalez went 2 for 3 raising his average to .348.

I think its safe to say the Red Sox made the Royals their bitch tonight. Although the Royals did put up a good fight, knocking Andrew Miller on his ass early.

(PHOTO) Ellsbury And Reddick Did The Booty Bump Tonight, That Means One Thing

I dont know when this became a tradition but whenever the Red Sox win, Jacoby Ellsbury and Josh Reddick jump in the air and do a booty bump in the outfield.

We saw it tonight:

Whats More Lame? Dancing With Inflatable Stanley Cup At Wedding Or A Bruins Themed Wedding Introduction?

Cmon, we are all psyched that the Bruins won the Stanley Cup but there is such thing as taking it too far.

The dude in the first video must be psyched that he found a girl who is willing to let him live his 15 year old adolescent fantasy...wearing a Bruins jersey on his wedding day. I wonder if she lets him play video games and watch scrambled porn.

Bruins Themed Wedding Introductions

The people in the second video are just lame. You know whats cool? Dancing with the REAL Stanley Cup at your wedding. You know whats lame? Dancing with a $10 inflatable Stanley Cup.

Dancing With Inflatable Stanley Cup

Congratulations Asshole, You Made It On Masshole Sports!

I have never understood the obsession with foul / homerun balls. Why do people literally risk their lives for a friggin baseball? This asshole is hanging over a wall that is, what, 15 feet high? This really pisses me off. For a friggin baseball?

Plus, she could have interfered with the play. But she doesnt care. Because she almost got a baseball.

Congratulations asshole, you made it on Masshole Sports!

NFL Labor Negotiations Reenacted By 4 Year Olds

Watch these kids reenact the NFL labor negotiations. I think they're pretty accurate.

Heres The Stanley Cup Schedule For This Week

Here’s a calendar NESN posted showing where the Stanley Cup will be this month.

Tuukka Rask will have the cup again today. But after today, it looks like the Stanley Cup will be in Ontario for the rest of the week, so if you are a creepy Stanley Cup stalker you know where to find it.

Shawn Thornton will have it on Tuesday, Daniel Paille on Wednesday, Rich Peverley on Thursday and Gregory Campbell on Friday and Saturday.

The Red Sox Are Playing Friggin Awesome Right Now

The Red Sox have won 17 of their last 20 games. They are leading the American League in runs, batting average, on base percentage and slugging percentage.

I don’t care that they played the pathetic Seattle Mariners this weekend. That doesn’t diminish what they have been doing. The Red Sox are friggin tearing up the American League.

Our Long National Nightmare Is Finally Over. JD Drew Has Been Benched For Josh Reddick

The official word from the Red Sox is that JD Drew will be placed on the disabled list effective Monday due to a shoulder impingement (whatever the hell that is). But let's be realistic here. JD Drew has been benched for Josh Reddick. Plain and simple.

The Red Sox had to make room on the roster for Jon Lester, who is coming off the disabled list Monday and rather than sending Kyle Weiland back to Pawtucket, the Red Sox put JD Drew on the disabled listed with a phantom injury.

That shows you how badly JD Drew has sucked this season. The Red Sox would rather have Kyle Weiland on their roster than JD Drew. Wow. Its been nice knowing you dude.

(PHOTO) Zdeno Chara Eating Rice Pudding From Stanley Cup. Why? Because He Can.

Definitely the most creative use of the Stanley Cup this offseason:

Instructional Video Of The Day: A Womans Guide To Football

If you're lady friend just doesnt understand football, here's a great instructional video that explains what you can do to get her into football...sorta.

Zdeno Chara Brings Stanley Cup To Hometown Of Trencin, Slovakia

Zdeno Chara is currently in his hometown of Trencin, Slovakia with the Stanley Cup and his Norris Trophy.

This is probably the coolest place the Stanley Cup has been so far. Check out the castle behind them. Friggin awesome.