The Odds Of The Red Sox Collapsing The Way They Did Were Approximately 1 In 287 Million

On Wednesday night, the Rays were down 7-0 going into the 8th inning and the Red Sox were up 3-2 at the time of the rain delay (in the bottom of the 7th inning). Some guy named Nate Silver figured that the probability of the sequence of events occurring the way they did on Wednesday night were 1 in 278 million.

I not going to get into the math (click here for an explanation on Nate Silver blog) but I will tell you this: when the odds of something happening are 1 in 278 million and it actually happens, there’s a good chance that there is something else at play. Maybe like, I dunno, divine intervention. Im say saying, maybe there really are baseball gods.





John Henry Wrote A Poem About Red Sox Collapse


John Henry used Twitter to post a poem about the Red Sox collapse. Not sure which format he is using. I know its not a haiku.

I think it may be a Sestina, which tends to be more of a free verse poem and doesnt rhyme. Its basically A-B-C-D-E-F-G. John Henry seems to force it a bit at the end with the bit about rain and quite streets. But it is technically sound. Kudos Mr. Henry.


Dan Shaughnessy Made It Onto The Yahoo Homepage. Friggin Loser.



Yesterday I posted a video of Dan Shaughnessy smiling like a kid in a candy store, giddily talking about how the Red Sox were going to "live another day" just hours before they collapsed.

Well, Yahoo did a story about Shaughnessy being a jink and it was on the Yahoo homepage for millions and millions of people to see. Poor Dan Shaughnessy. You fool. You loser. You jinx.

(VIDEO) During Rain Delay, Dan Shaughnessy Predicts Rays Would Lose And Sox Would Live Another Day...Then The Universe Collapsed. Thanks Dude.



As soon as we saw Dan Shaughnessy smiling like a little school girl we should have known the Universe was going to collapse.

During the rain delay last night, Dan Shaughnessy prophetically declared that "the Red Sox season is not going to end tonight, they live to play another day" and that "the Rays are not going to win tonight."

Then our world collapsed upon itself.

Remember, this is the man who literally wrote the book, The Curse of the Bambino What the hell was that jinx doing on the air anyway. The guys got bad karma.




Jason Varitek Changed His Wedding Date To Avoid Conflicting With World Series Schedule. Well That Sucks.



USA Today
did a nice piece on Red Sox captain Jason Varitek and revealed that Varitek has changed his wedding date as to not conflict with the World Series this year.

Varitek had originally scheduled his wedding (to Catherine Panagiotopoulos) for October 28th, 2011 but changed it once they realized October 28th was the day after Game 7 of the World Series. According to the USA Today article, the wedding will instead take place "this winter."

Well, that sucks.




(VIDEO) Adrian Gonzalez Blames God For Red Sox September Collapse. I Shit You Not.



"I'm a firm believer that God has a plan and it wasn't in his plan for us to move forward." -- Adrian Gonzalez on why the Red Sox didnt make it to the post season

2011 Boston Red Sox: Best Team NEVER

On March 31, 2011 the Boston Herald declared the Boston Red Sox "The Best Team Ever." Here is the actual newspaper from that day:




REALITY:



Red Sox Fan Of The Night



(PHOTO) Tom Brady Cut His Hair! The Long National Nightmare Is Over!

Tom Brady has cut his hair. All I can say is FINALLY! He finally took his balls out of Gisele Bundchen’s purse. Tom Brady finally has short hair again.








REPORT: Red Sox May Acquire Bruce Chen For One Game Playoff With Rays. This Is Like Something Out Of A Bad Movie.


This is like something out of a bad movie.

Picture it: the main character is cornered with a gun held to his head and you know there is no way out..he is going to die. Then suddenly a new character comes out of nowhere and saves the day--a character that hadn’t been introduced at all prior to the final scene.

Well, the Red Sox are attempting to acquire Bruce Chen from the Kansas City Royals for a potential one game playoff against the Rays.

From TheScore.com:

The Boston Red Sox are in talks to acquire an experienced arm to start a potential Wild Card tie-breaker against the Tampa Bay Rays on Thursday. One of the names being mentioned is Royals pitcher Bruce Chen. The 13-year veteran is 12-8 with a 3.98 ERA with Kansas City this season, and is coming off an 8-inning, 2-hit victory over the White Sox last Friday. In 11 career starts vs Tampa Bay, Chen is 4-2 with a 3.75 ERA.

Stay tuned...

(PHOTO GALLERY) A Look Back At Heidi Watney And The People Who Looked At Her “Back” During The 2011 Season

With today being the last game of the regular season for the Red Sox and the last game of the year to be broadcast on NESN, I figured we would look back at all the people who got caught looking at Heidi Watney's backside (and frontside).

A few high profile people got caught this season. Im talking about you Theo Epstein and Erin Andrews. Naughty naughty.








AND FRONT:




The Backup To The Backup Catcher, Ryan Lavarnway, May Have Just Saved The Red Sox Season. Who Woulda Thunk?


The 2011 Red Sox were proclaimed the “Best Team Ever” by the Boston Herald at the beginning of the season. They have a line up that includes four all stars and two MVP candidates and one of the best closers in the game. Yet Ryan Lavarnway may be the hero of the 2011 season.

Honestly, when Jason Varitek went down with a bruised knee and Saltalamaccia went down with a bruised collarbone, did you really think Ryan Lavarnway would step up and contribute the way he did? Honestly?

The guy had never played a full game at catcher for the Red Sox. He had never caught Erik Bedard ever. Yet he comes in, does a good job calling the game and has an unbelievable night at the plate, with two home runs and 4 rbi. And may have just become the savior of the Red Sox 2011 season. Who woulda thunk.

(PHOTO) Bruins Names Engraved On Stanley Cup. Um...Why Is Jeremy Jacobs' Wife And All Three Of His Sons On There?


So the Bruins names have been engraved on the Stanley Cup. Now before people start spazzing out, Patrice Bergeron's real name is Patrice Bergeron-Cleary. That is not a typo.

Now to the juicy stuff. I understand that it is common for the coaching staff, front office and trainers names to be engraved on the Cup but why are there five friggin Jacobs' on the Stanley Cup.

Jeremy Jacobs is the owner and his son Charlie Jacobs is the Principle and Alternate Governor so obviously they should to be on the Cup. But why is Jeremy Jacobs' wife Margaret on and two other sons, Louis and Jerry Jr, on the Cup? They arent listed on the Bruins website anywhere and as far as I know, they arent involved with the Bruins at all.

Seems kinda disrespectful to the other people on the Cup if you ask me. Since when do people get their names engraved on the Stanley Cup based on their DNA? And if you want to tell me that Margaret Jacobs does alot for the Boston Bruins Foundation, save your breathe. This isnt a philanthropy trophy, it is the Stanley Cup.

For the record, former owner of the Edmonton Oilers, Peter Pocklington, had his fathers name put on the Stanley Cup in 1983-1984. It was later covered with a bunch of X's. We'll see what happens with Margaret, Louis and Jerry Jr. Stay tuned...





John Lackey Divorcing Wife Who Is Battling Cancer, Is Pissed At Media For Texting Him About It 30 Minutes Before Yankees Game


TMZ is reporting that John Lackey and wife Krista are getting a divorce.

From TMZ.com

Lackey filed on August 30, according to court docs in Texas, claiming "the marriage has become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities." Krista and John got married in November, 2008.

Whats pissa (in the bad way) is that some prick in the media sent John Lackey a text message asking about his divorce thirty minutes before his start on Sunday against the Yankees--the most important start of his Red Sox career.

The media in this town really does suck and they have turned John Lackey into a broken man. They have been perpetuating the rumor that the reason he's having a sucky season is because his wife is battling cancer. Give it a friggin break.

Lackey went off on the media after Yankees on Sunday. Lackey said:

"Let me tell you the truth. Thirty minutes before the game, I got a text message on my cellphone from one of you ... somebody in the media, talking about personal stuff. I don't know who got my phone number, but that's over the line."

Watch the video here. The dude looks like a broken man.








other Masshole Sports articles:

When You Live By Tom Brady..You Die By Tom Brady



I think its pretty clear that the Patriots are going to live by Tom Brady and die by Tom Brady. The problem is, every so often Tom Brady is going to have an off game. And every so often the Patriots are going to run into a hot quarterback. And once in a great while, each of those things will happen on the same day, creating the perfect storm...which is exactly what happened in Buffalo.

Let's be serious, the Bill probably arent going to win the Super Bowl this year. If they make it to the Super Bowl every year for the next four years they probably arent going to win--well, history tells us they wont (hardy har har).

Anyway, the bottom line is that the Patriots have decided to live by Tom Brady and his air assault this season. So we are going to see him put up some godly number but we are also going to see games like this one. They wont happen very often, but they will happen.

Does that mean the Patriots arent a championship caliber team? Nope. It just means that Tom Brady is human, which for some Patriot fans is hard to accept.


Creative Anti Yankee Sign Of The Day

"Yankees suck" is so old fashion. "Fuck Yankees" is so in.





OMFG! Tyler Seguin Is Single.

Just so everyone is aware, Tyler Seguin is single…according to his sister anyway.




Oddsmakers Pick Canucks And Capitals As Favorites To Win 2012 Stanley Cup. FYI, They Were Wrong Last Year.


The odds to win the 2012 Stanley Cup are in and Bodog has the Canucks and the Capitals as the two favorites, both at 7/1. The Bruins and Penguins are next, each at 10/1.

That doesn’t mean much. Last year, the oddsmakers were dead wrong. Their favorites were the Canucks at 3/1 and San Jose Sharks at 7/1. The eventual winners, your Boston Bruins, were at 17/2.


If Red Sox And Rays End Season Tied, One Game Playoff Would Be Played At Tropicana Field. Im Sure The Baseball Gods Would Like That.


If the Red Sox and Rays end the season with identical records, the one game playoff would take place in Tampa because the Rays have won the season series, 12 to 6.

Imagine that. A one game playoff for all the marbles being played in what amounts to a high school gymnasium. Im sure the Baseball Gods would be psyched to see such an important game in a domed arena more suited for trade shows and conventions than baseball.

I can see it now--game tied, bottom of the ninth, Evan Longoria hits a deep fly ball to left field, he jumps in the air, waves his arms like Carlton Fisk only to have the ball hit a catwalk and be ruled a home run. Oh, the majesty.



Ok, This Is Getting Friggin Ridiculous



At least before 2004 we could blame it on “the curse of the Bambino.” Right now the Red Sox just flat out suck. The bullpen is horrendous, they’re playing sloppy defense, they’re getting screwed by the umpires and just got their ass handed to them by the Baltimore Orioles. The BALTIMORE ORIOLES!

Good luck in New York this weekend boys!



Mariano Rivera On Clinching Playoff Spot: "Nobody gave us a shot when we were in spring training and here we are." Cmon, Give Me A Friggin Break.


After the Yankees clinched a playoff spot last night, Mariano Rivera said, "Nobody gave us a shot when we were in spring training and here we are."

Is he fucking serious? What he should have said was, "we have the biggest payroll in MLB and expect to be here right now." But he had to grab the oldest cliche in baseball. Nobody gave the Yankees a shot? Cmon. What friggin planet does he live on?

Lets be realistic here. There were some teams in the American League that nobody gave a shot--like oh say the Royals, Rays, A’s, Orioles, and basically everyone except the Red Sox and Yankees.

But the Yankees are expected to make it to the playoffs every year. But I guess Rivera just doesnt have the integrity to say, "we have the biggest payroll in MLB and expect to be here right now." Friggin tool.