This Chicago News Station Is Trying To Be Masshole Sports SO Friggin Bad. Nice Try, You Unfunny Bastids.

No, this isnt photoshopped. Its from a Chicago news station.  They must think they are so cutting edge!  Wow!  Im sure all the 14 year olds who watched were giggling their asses off.  Fail.

Im Having Wicked Bad Bruins Withdrawals Right Now, And It Friggin Sucks. At Least Im Not The Only One.

Im supposed to be posting funny headlines and stupid photoshopped pictures right now but instead Im going out of my friggin mind.  I dont like this friggin feeling.  As a Boston sports fan, Im not used to this.

And Im not the only one. Tyler Seguin is bored out of his friggin mind too. This sucks SO BAD!

My Man Only Has One True Love Left. So Friggin Sad.

The lack of Bruins playoff hockey right now sucks! And I especially feel bad for this poor bastid.  After last Wednesday, I assume he only has one true love left.  Well, maybe I shouldnt assume...I have no idea how much the China Town pussy costs these days.  But you know what Im saying.

I Didnt Know Jerry Trupiano Was Such A Masshole

Yes, THE Jerry Trupiano posted this on his Facebook page.   I didnt know he had it in him.  This just proves you're never too old to be a Masshole.

By the way, the video is friggin hilarious funny.

There Is Video Evidence Of Rajon Rondo Intentionally Bumping Ref, Yet After Game He Says "I didn’t intentionally chest-bump him." What A Prick.

With 41 seconds left in Game 1, Rajon Rondo was ejected for bumping the ref.

What pisses me off is that after the game, Rondo said “I didn’t intentionally chest-bump him.”  Either Rondo thinks we're all gullible bastids or a he is just a real dick.  Anyone who watches this video can tell there was intent (see below).

And anyone who's ever faced a judge before knows that when you get caught red handed, your better off admitting your guilty, showing remorse and hope he goes easy on you.  That being said, Rondo probably just earned himself a one game suspension.

Well, its been a nice season, Celtics.

Well, That Didnt Go So Well

The Celtics were down 29-12 at one point.   Sure, they made a bit of a run at the end of the game, but lets be realistic.  The Celtics werent going to win this game.  And with Rondo facing a possible suspension for Game 2 for bumping a ref and Ray Allen "day to day" Im not going to pretend that its all shits and giggles right now.

No one really knew how The Big Three Era was going to end, but as of right now we have every indication that its going to be pretty pathetic.

Some Guy Named Gavin Floyd Just No Hit Red Sox For 6 1/3 Innings, Thus Pissing On Any Momentum They Had

Is Gavin Floyd really that good? Or did the Red Sox decide to take Sunday off, knowing that they had won every game on this road trip going into Sundays game? Hmm. Well, the dude had a 58-58 career record going into the game so it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure this one out.

(VIDEO) High School Pitchers Hits Bird With Pitch, Bird Simply Flies Away. He Must Feel Like Such A Pussy.

Imagine banging a chick and she says she never felt it. Or punching a dude in the face and he doesnt even flinch. Well how about a pitcher hitting a bird with a pitch and having the bird simply fly away. Thats gotta be devastating to the self esteem.

(VIDEO) Female Red Sox Fan Gets Kicked In The Face At Yankee Stadium. She's Not A Massholes...She's An Asshole.

This is from Friday nights Yankees Tigers game.  What kind of a moron gets drunk and tries to attack a Yankees fan in their own stadium? This girl isnt a Masshole...she's just an asshole.  The mayhem begins at the 1:20 mark.

Wait, it gets worse. The moron comes back for more and has her hair pulled as if she's the rope in
tug-of-war. Ugh.

Jacoby Ellsbury’s Brother Is Such A Frigin Tool

You know that kid in high school who would try and get laid by telling all the girls that his older brother was the star on the Varsity team? Yea, thats Spencer Ellsbury.

Spencer Ellsbury is the brother of Jacoby Ellsbury and has a picture of Jacoby as his twitter page's background.  What a friggin tool.  And I thought Rob Gronkowski’s brothers were sad sacks for constantly mentioning their brother on twitter.  This takes it to a whole new level.

As A Masshole, You Know Youre Doing Something Right When You Get A Retweet From Mikey Adams

Mikey Adams, the funny bastid from WEEI.  Not the former football player.

If You Dont Get Chills After Watching This Paul Pierce "A Champion Will Rise" Playoffs Commerical Then You Dont Have A Friggin Pulse

The NBA regular season sucks, we all know that. The NBA playoffs can even be kinda boring. But this Paul Pierce "A Champion Will Rise" promo is giving me tingles in places that the NBA typically doesnt give me tingles.

Jon Lester Was Pissa, The Bullpen Did Their Job And I Have A Pants Tent. Red Sox Win 1-0.

The Red Sox beat the White Sox 1-0. Jon Lester was pissa, the bullpen actually did their job and I have a pants tent. I cant believe Im going to utter these words, but Alfredo Aceves came in in the the ninth and looked really good.  Wow, that was harder than telling my girlfriend that I love her for the first time.

And I dont give a shit that it was against the measely Chicago White Sox.  The last time I checked it still counts as a win.  The Red Sox are now at .500 on the season and have won six friggin games in a row.  With a win tomorrow, they can come back to Fenway Park with a winning record.

We can all sleep well tonight, Red Sox Nation.

Marchand Admits He Had A Proverbial Limp Dick. Says He Had Difficulty "getting up mentally" For The Playoffs

Well, there you have it folks. I guess its kinda like your girlfriend asking you to go twice in one night. After the first time, even if you're physical ready and able, you just dont have it mentally.

But seriously, this is where the lack of a player like Mark Recchi shows its ugly face.  If he were in that locker room, he would be telling the young guys to not take this opportunity for granted.  The Bruins had a very real chance to be repeat Stanley Cup Champions and....ugh...forget it.  I cant talk about this shit anymore.

Patrice Bergeron Played With Strained Oblique Muscle And Broken Nose. The Dude Is Tough.

Patrice Bergeron played through a strained oblique muscle. Bergeron said he first felt the injury in Game 3. Bergeron aggravated the injury in Game 5, when he was limited to three third-period shifts. 

Bergeron also had a broken nose.

This is the reason why when Josh Beckett sits out because he has a blister on his finger, people call him a prima donna, a wimp, a pussy...whatever. Patrice Bergeron played most of the series against Washington with a strained oblique muscle and a broken nose.   Futher proof that hockey players are the toughest son of a bitches in all of professional sports.

Bruins Release Video Montage Thanking Fans For 2011-2012 Season. Not The Video I Wanted To See, But Whatever.

It hurts to say, but this is what losers do. Around mid/late April they make cheesy video montages thanking fans for a good season. Not the kind of video I want to see, but its out there so I figured Id show you all.

Ron Borges Says Tim Thomas Getting Beat By Black Guy Is “Karma” For Snubbing Obama. I Shit You Not!

When I heard about those psychos who were spewing racist bullshit on twitter after Joel Ward scored the game winning goal, I was disgusted. Then I read some of the tweets and I was outraged.

Those people don’t represent the Boston sports fans.  Those people are twisted individuals who have been cursed with the deadly combination of stupidity, ignorance, hate and twitter.

So when I woke up today and read the Boston Herald my jaw dropped.  In his piece today, Ron Borges says:
So what struck me was this karmic notion: Thomas refuses to go to Washington, thus snubbing the first black president in our country’s history, and is a few months later eliminated by a black hockey player who had only six goals all season — and only that one in the seven-game playoff series. It didn’t strike me as racial, it struck me as ironic.

Yea, and most educated, upper class, employed racists dont think they're racist.  They think in terms of color yet honestly believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  Anyone who saw Joel Ward's game winning goal in overtime of Game 7 and "went there" has a few screws loose.

It was a series clinching, overtime goal that knocked the defending Stanley Cup Champions out of the playoffs.  To bring the color of his skin into what may be that dudes biggest goal of his career is beyond stupid.

I just want to reiterate than Ron Borges does not speak for the Boston sports fan.  He does not speak for the Boston media.  He is just an educated ignoramus who has a job with a major media publication because of his name recognition.  The dude is a textbook example of a sellout who spews bullshit just to sell newspapers and get web traffic.

And if this town didnt have a garbage newspaper like the Boston Herald, this guy would be about five years into retirement by now.

Im So Friggin Pissed Right Now. The Bruins Would Have Played The Flyers In 2nd Round

So with the #1 Rangers, #5 Flyers and #6 Devils all winning their series, the #2 Bruins would have faced the #5 Flyers in the second round.  Im so friggin pissed.  The Bruins have owned the Flyers over the past two seasons.  And on top of that, we may have seen the Bruins bring back those funny billboards.

But if my aunt had a dick, she'd be my uncle. So whatever.

Red Sox Bitch Slap White Sox Behind Youkilis Grand Slam, Salty's 2 HRs

The Red Sox are taking care of business against the shitty teams in the American League right now. They swept the Twins earlier this week and kept the momentum going by bitch slapped the White Sox 10-3 last night.  Youkilis hit a grand slam and Saltalamacchia hit two home runs.

The Red Sox have scored 43 runs over their last five games and have won all 4 of the games on this road trip so far.  Im not going to say this is helping me forget about the Bruins loss to the Capitals but it is easing the pain a bit..

The NBA 2012 Playoff Bracket Seen Through The Eyes Of A Masshole

The NBA playoffs suck. Every series is predictably and half the teams that make it suck. The first round is going to really suck. There are only three decent teams in the Eastern Conference and maybe four decent teams in the Western Conference. 

Im not even going to start watching the NBA playoffs until the second round.  And while Im at it, ESPN sucks for dedicating so much of their coverage to the NBA.

To All You Twats Who Think Mike Wise Is Driving Traffic To Masshole Sports

Every since I was on 106.7 The Fan with Washington Post columnist Mike Wise, Ive been getting tweets from Crapitals fans (no, thats not a typo) telling me that my site must be exploding because of him. Wrong.  Heres are some highlights from April (see chart above).

Yup, I Got Bitch Slapped By A Nerd From The Washington Post

So a few days ago, I wrote an article calling Washington Post columnist Mike Wise a pathetic loser with a losers mentality because he wrote an article in which he drilled it into Capitals fans heads that they had very little chance of winning Game 7.

I then went on his radio show on Wednesday, before Game 7, and reiterated what I wrote.  I told him that my balls had grown bigger and bigger with every Boston championship and that Washington DC was filled with pathetic sports fans with low self esteem.

Well, after the Bruins Game 7 loss I got a text from his producer asking me to come on the show again.  And like a good Masshole I faced the music.  Why did I walk into this lions den?  Because after 7 championships in 11 years, I have big brass balls that have grown to epic proportions and I knew nothing they could say would hurt.

Click here to hear the audio (scroll down to were it says "Neal from takes his verbal beating").

ps. to all the people on twitter who were saying that I didnt have the balls to talk to Mike Wise the day after a loss...I did.  So suck it, twitter bitches. Suck it hard.

Masshole Sports Memo Re: NFL Draft

Im probably going to alienate some Massholes with this, but it must be said:

The Masshole Is Going To Be On 106.7 The Fan In Washington DC Today With Mike Wise

Remember that guy that I called a "pathetic loser with a losers mentality?" Well, Im going to be on his show today (Wednesday) at 1:45pm. Listen to the live stream here:

Thats right, the day after a Bruins lose to the Capitals in a crushing Game 7, Im going on the radio in DC.  Sometimes you have to bend over and take it like a man.  Here we go.



Anyone Who Thinks Holtby Was The Difference In This Series Has Their Head Up Their Ass. It Was Hunters "Dishonorable" 1-4 System That Killed The Bruins.

This series was the closest series in the history of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Every game was decided by one goal and eventually it ended with a coin flip. The defending Stanley Cup Champions got bounced in the first round on a friggin coin flip.

That being said, Braden Holtby wasn’t the reason the Capitals won this series, yet all the yahoo Capitals fans and morons among us will say he was.

The reality is Dale Hunter's defensive system won this series for the Capitals.  His system is a 1-4 in which 1 player forechecks and the other 4 sit on their asses in front of the goalie.  This results in the attacking team never getting any quality scoring chances, thus causing them to take bad shots.

Yet when talking about the series, “experts” will say Holtby was the difference. Village idiot Barry Melrose has already said about Holtby, "this kid has got ice water in his veins."  Bullshit. He made a total of one “great” save this series.   The dude was never tested.

The Capitals literally could have put a stuffed animal on skates in front of the net and the series wouldn’t have been any different.  Hell, they put an AHL goalie in net and beat the defending Stanley Cup Champions.

Dale Hunter wasnt good for hockey as a player and he isnt good for hockey as a coach.  The 1-4 system isnt an honorable way to win...but since when does Dale Hunter do anything with honor.

Tweet Of The Night

This is just a small sample of the abuse I took last night on twitter from a fanbase that hasnt won a championship since 1992.  Jesus H. Christ, they won 1 playoff round.  What balls, huh?  This butterface is probably just crabby because she hasnt been laid in a while.

Why The Frig Is It So Hard To Repeat?

Not only that, but 9 of the last 11 Stanley Cup Champions have now lost in the first round the following year. Ill still take a Stanley Cup Championship if it means getting bounced early the next year. Its better than never having won one at all [cough, Capitals, cough, cough].