(VIDEO) ESPN Reports That Jared Sullinger Has Bulging Dicks. Not Discs...Dicks. Nice Job Guys.

ESPN last night reported that Celtics first round draft pick, Jared Sullinger, has bulging "dicks."  Thank you ESPN for the hard hitting journalism.  On a side note, Andy Katz took it like a pro.  He said "dicks" on live tv and didnt even flinch.

Well, That Sucked

I should probably mention that Felix Hernandez was friggin awesome for Seattle.  The dude pitched a complete game shutout and struck out a career high 13.  But this isnt a Mariners blog so Im not going to spend 250 words washing that dudes balls.

Franklin Morales pitched friggin awesome too, allowing only three hits, walking two and striking out seven over 7 innings. But in the end, the bullpen pissed it all away.

This time it was Scott Atchison. The dude came in for the bottom of the ninth with the game scoreless and gave up a double, then issued an intentional walk then blew it by allowing a walk off single to John Jaso.

I never thought I would say this but Franlin Morales came up short in a pitching duel with Felix Hernandez.

(PHOTO) Duff McKagan Of Guns N Roses Throwing Out First Pitch At Red Sox Mariners Game

Dont ask me because I have no friggin idea.

(VIDEO) Doc Rivers Pretends To Be Excited That His Son Austin Got Drafted By Hornets

Lets be serious. Doc Rivers didnt sign a 5 year contract extension back in 2011 to watch the Big 3 get old and slowly die right before his eyes.

The dude knew that his son, Austin Rivers, was going to only play one year of college basketball. And Doc probably figured Austin would go pretty low in the first round and that the Celtics would draft him and he would get to watch his son turn into a superstar in this league right before his eyes.

But as we all know, life sucks and doesnt always go the way you plan.  According to ESPNBoston, the Celtics were aggressively trying to trade up to get Austin and even that didnt work.

Doc Rivers is probably pissed right now that he signed that extension.  I guarantee he wouldnt have singed it if he knew the Celtics werent going to get Austin.

Malcolm Subban Is Already Busting Balls. Dude's Wearing Phil Kessels Old Number At Bruins Development Camp.

Phil Kessel is one of the most hated former Bruins of all time and a wicked douchebag.  There's just a bad aura surrounding that number in these parts.  Lets hope this is just a case of a lazy equipment manager giving him a random number.

picture via @ESPNJoeyMac

Baltimore Sportscaster Gerry Sandusky Is Being Tortured On Twitter By Stupid Shits Who Think He's Jerry Sandusky. Poor Bastid.

The other day I posted a bunch of tweets from idiots who thought Bobby Valentine traded Kevin Youkilis.  Today I learn that some dude named Gerry Sandusky is being absolutely tortured on twitter by stupid shits who think he is Jerry Sandusky.

People are so friggin stupid my head is ready to explode.

I could go on and on but I have to stop somewhere. If you want to entertain yourself and read through hundreds of tweets just like the ones above, visit the dudes twitter page.

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Red Sox Beat The Shit Out Of Blue Jays And Andy Pettitte Goes On DL. Things Are Looking Pretty Good Right About Now.

The Red Sox offense unloaded on Toronto pitcher Ricky Romero on Wednesday, scoring 8 runs off of the dude (6 in the first inning) and beating the Blue Jays 10-4.  All of a sudden, the Red Sox are tied for third in the AL East and rising.

They have now won 11 of their last 14 games and on top of that, it looks as though the Yankees are headed down shits creek without a paddle.  Andy Pettitte fractured his left fibula on Wednesday and will be out until August. CC "fat ass" Sabathia pulled his left groin on Sunday and is on the 15 day DL.  Stay tuned folks.  Things are about to get real interesting in the AL East.

(VIDEO) Darnell McDonald With A Friggin Awesome Catch In Right Field Against Blue Jays

If this doesnt make the SportsCenter top 10 tomorrow morning I will never watch ESPN again.

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Yup, CC Sabathia Is Kinda A Douche

CC Sabathia tweeted this tonight.  I think the dude was trying to sound like a hard ass but he came across as kinda an asshole.  But really, would you expect anything less from this arrogant prick of a Yankee?

(VIDEO) Fat Fuck CC Sabathia Farts Superman Promo

While Im on CC Sabathia...

STOP THE PRESSES: Dice K Still Knows How To Pitch. The Bullpen Did Their Job! The Red Sox Came From Behind To Win!

That was a very un Red Sox like win. Dice K actually looked like a real starting pitcher, only giving up 1 run in 5.2 innings, the bullpen did their job, pitching 3.1 innings of scoreless baseball and the Red Sox actually came from behind to win a game.

Sure the Blue Jays bullpen sucks and basically melted down and the Red Sox only overcame a one run deficit, but it still goes down as a come from behind win. Shit, Ill take it.

I wonder how Kevin Youkilis did in Chicago last night.  Oh wait...no I dont.

Is This The Best Red Sox Fan Sign Of All Time?


Cherington also said he was excited to get Zack Stewart in the Kevin Youkilis trade. The dude is more full of shit than a septic tank. We're not that stupid, Ben.  Nice try though.

(VIDEO) Kid Cries Because Brent Lillibridge Got Traded For Kevin Youkilis. What The Frig Is Wrong With People?

First of all, why the frig is a kid crying over a guy who was batting .175 at the time of the trade (and .169 now)? Secondly, the father is a scumbag for recording his son crying and putting it on youtube. People are fucked.

LA Kings Think They're Immune To The Stanley Cup Hangover. Cocky Bastids.

How cute. The LA Kings dont know about the Stanley Cup Hangover.  I dont blame them. This is unchartered territory for them.

Honestly though, it would be fun to see the Bruins play the Kings in a Stanley Cup Finals someday.  The twitter battles @MassholeSports and @LAKings would be epic.

(heres a link to the tweet above for all the trolls who think I photoshop shit)

(VIDEO) Obama Gets Booed For Making Youkilis Joke At Fundraiser. Good Luck Winning Massachusetts In November, Dude.

I understand Barack Obama is a White Sox fan but its just too soon to be making jokes about Kevin Youkilis.  Jesus H. Christ, he just got traded a few days ago.

The dude busted his ass for us for a good 8 years and was given away for practically nothing because he had a bad three months of a season.  And the President of the United States has the balls to thank us?

Good luck winning Massachusetts, dude.  You just pissed off about 90% of the state.

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Well, That Sucked

Felix Doubront has been a stud for the Red Sox this season. I would even go so far as to call him the ace on this team. But on Monday night, the dude just didnt have it.

He gave up a career high 7 runs and a career high 11 hits.  The Red Sox offense has been clicking as of late, scoring 9 runs on Sunday and 8 runs on Saturday but there is only so much you can do.

On top of that, there was a friggin two hour rain delay.  What a sucky night at Fenway.  I feel bad for the poor bastids who bought tickets to that game.

Awe, The Miami Heat Had Their Championship Parade Yesterday. Good For Them.

You look up at the rafters in the Boston Garden and the basketball gods look back. You look up at the rafters in the AmericanAirlines Arena in Miami and you see a bunch of friggin dust.

(PHOTO) Nolan Ryans Bitch Misspells Youkilis On White Sox Lineup Card

White Sox manager Robin Ventura (aka Nolan Ryan's bitch) misspelled Kevin Youkilis' name on the lineup card in his first game with the White Sox. 

Doesnt Ventura realize that Youkilis had a three month long pissing match with his former manager?  If Im Robin Ventura, I apologize and take Youk out to dinner.  You dont want to set him off this early.

People On Twitter Think Bobby Valentine, Not Ben Cherington, Traded Kevin Youkilis. I Feel Bad For The Poor Bastid. I Really Do.

Bobby Valentine just cant win in this town.  Ben Cherington dumps Kevin Youkilis for a couple of deadbeats and Bobby V is the one getting ripped a new asshole on twitter.  Poor bastid.

thanks to BustedCoverage for these gems

Cody Ross Only Hit 2 Home Runs And Drove In 5 Runs Yesterday

I know the day was all about Kevin Youkilis but there was also a baseball game on Sunday. And Cody Ross was friggin awesome. Dude hit two home runs and knocked in five runs.

The Red Sox are now 8-2 in their last ten games and no one seems to have noticed because of all the bullshit going on in the clubhouse.  Dont sleep on this team, people.  They've been mediocre all season with a "toxic" clubhouse (Buster Olneys words, not mine).  Maybe now that the Kevin Youkilis soap opera over, we'll see the clubhouse get their shit together and start playing for each other.  Stay tuned.

Wait A Second, It Just Hit Me...Kevin Youkilis Is Gone! HE's FRIGGIN GONE!!!

Sure I busted his balls alot this season, but thats what I do. The reality is Kevin Youkilis was a damn good ball player while he was here. He always gave 110%, he was a hustler and a grinder--basically the antithesis of Josh Beckett--and one of my favorites.

Damn.  Kevin Youkilis is no longer on the Boston Red Sox.  Damn.

In The End, Ben Cherington Gives Kevin Youkilis Away For Practically Nothing. That Is Bullshit.

Being traded for two nobodies has got to crush Kevin Youkilis' confidence. But going home and banging Bradys sister probably picks it right back up. So Im sure he’ll be ok.

Anyway, I know Ive been saying that the Red Sox should trade Kevin Youkilis for a sack of used baseball gloves but I was just busting balls. Kevin Youkilis and $5.5 million to the White Sox for a AAA pitcher and a utility infielder is a friggin steal (Red Sox will pay $5.5 million of the remaining $8 million on Youkilis' contract). The White Sox basically got Kevin Youkilis for free.

The pitcher in the deal, Zach Stewart, sucks so badly that he was sent to the minors last Tuesday. That’s not a joke. And the utility infielder, Brent Lillibridge, is batting .175 this season. Boy does Ben Cherington look like a dick right now.

So, this is how Kevin Youkilis’ career ends in Boston--he bitches and moans about playing time and gets traded for two nobodies.  Not exactly an honorable way to go out.

Sorry Youk

Im not even going to waste my breath on all of the Youkilis drama.  I dont give a shit about the soap opera pissing match thats going on behind the scenes.  Youkilis has been benched. That is the story.

The Red Sox are winning games and Youkilis' replacement almost hit for the cycle last night. 

Will Middlebrooks was a triple shy of the cycle.  The dude went 3 for 4 with a double, a home run and a single. He's batting .331 with a .960 OPS and he leads all AL rookies in home runs.

Poor Franklin Morale.  The dude pitched a pretty good game allowing only two runs and one walk over 6 innings but no one will be talking about him today.  Well, except for what I just said.