Happy New Year's Eve, Massholes.










VIDEO: William Shatner Says The Broncos Will Win The Super Bowl And "Peyton Manning's My Boy." He Can Go To Hell.








Just A Reminder, ESPN The Magazine Predicted That The Patriots Wouldn't Even Make The Playoffs This Year. Stupid Fucks.

These are ESPN The Magazine's "NFL Playoff Picks" from the preseason:



ESPN really has to stop with these predictions.  Its getting embarrassing.  Predicting that the Patriots wouldnt make the playoffs is ignorant.  Predicted that the Broncos will win the Super Bowl, despite Peyton Manning's horrendous career playoff history, is just stupid.

They need to stick to showing highlights and broadcasting games and stop pretending to know football.






FINAL: Patriots 34 Bills 20



The weather was shitty and the Bills were real ball busters, but the Patriots found a way. And in the end, they clinched the #2 overall seed in the AFC and a first round bye. This friggin team, man.

The Patriots had a ton of injuries this season and one of their star tight ends is rotting in jail yet they still finished the season 12-4 and won the AFC East. We are so friggin spoiled to have Tom Brady (who should get consideration for NFL MVP) and Bill Belichick (who should get consideration for NFL Coach of the Year). We really are.







Is There Anything Tom Brady Can't Do? He Actually Kicked A 32 Yard Punt Yesterday.



It was 3rd and 32 and the Patriots were on their own 46 yard line.  I was fully expecting Tom Brady to throw a bomb there.  But nope, he gave us the old school pooch punt.  Unfortunately, the Bills had someone back there ready to make the catch.  But you must admit, it was still pretty cool to see.







So, How About That LeGarrette Blount Guy



LeGarrette Blount's 189 rushing yards was a career high for him.  His 83 yard kick return was the longest of the season for the Patriots and his 334 all purpose yards is a new Patriots record.  This guy had himself a friggin game.

LeGarrette Blount is now one of only three players in the history of the NFL to have at least 180 rushing yards and more than 100 kickoff return yards in the same game. Gale Sayers and Adrian Peterson are the other two ever to do that.  Damn.







LeGarrette Blount Weighs 250 Lbs And Outran Almost Everyone On The Bills On This 82 Yard Kickoff Return. You Have To Admit, That Is Pretty Damn Impressive.










Well Played, Boston.com

Im kicking myself for not thinking of this headline: 









Patriots Bills Keys To The Game










This Sounds About Right











Another Bruin Is Injured



The Bruins officially announced that Dennis Seidenberg tore his ACL and MCL against the Senators Friday night and will miss the rest of the season.  He was averaging 21:50 minutes of icetime a night and is a +11 this season.  This sucks.







This Guy Turns 53 Today



I hope this was a history lesson for all you young massholes out there.







FINAL: Bruins 5 Senators 0



The Bruins did what elite teams are supposed to do and beat the shit out of a bad team last night.

Jarome Iginla, David Krejci, Brad Marchand and Reilly Smith (twice) all scored for the Bruins in the 5-0 ass kicking of the Senators last night.  Iginla now has three goals over his last two games and Smith has seven goals over his last six games.  This Reilly Smith kid is now leading the Bruins with 14 goals.  Damn.

Tuukka Rask stopped all 33 shots he faced last night and is now leading the NHL in shutouts with four.  I honeslty had no friggin idea he was even close to the league lead.  And Brad Marchand now has four goals in his last four games.

Despite all the injuries, everything seems to be clicking for the Bruins as of late. Sure, the Senators are a sucky team and wouldnt even make the playoffs if the season ended right now, but so what?

The Bruins have now won eight straight home games and have not lost in regulation since October 26th.  That is pissa.







Here Is Reilly Smith's First Masshole Sports Headline. You've Made It Kid.



Sure, I probably overuse the word "bitch" but the kid scored two goals last night and is leading the Bruins with 14.  He deserves a classic headline.








Here Are Both Of Reilly Smith's Goals Last Night And Jack Edwards' Ensuing Sportsgasms.

Here's Reilly Smith's first goal, and the Jack Edward call:





And here's his second:








The Latest Poll Results Are In.

via SportsNation

This shouldnt even be close.  Peyton Manning has a 9-11 career playoff record and has been bounced in the first round the last two years.  Tom Brady has a 17-7 career playoff, made it to the AFC Championship game last season and the Super Bowl the year before.

On top of what I just said, the Patriots can clinch the #1 seed in the AFC this Sunday if they win and the Broncos lose.  The bottom line is, Brady is doing a lot more with a lot less this season and is probably the scariest quarterback going into the playoffs this season.

But people get so caught up in the fact that Manning broke Brady's single season touchdown record this season that they forget that he is a chronic playoff choker.

This poll should be Brady 100% and Manning 0%.  It is sad to think there are this many stupid people in this country.


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So, This Happened.









94 Years Ago Yesterday, Babe Ruth Was Sold To The Yankees.



You know what though? The Red Sox have won three World Series in the past 10 years. I dont even give a shit about the Babe Ruth thing anymore.








REPORT: The Knicks Want Rajon Rondo To Demand A Trade…To The Knicks. That's Rather Douchey Of Them.



From ESPN:
According to league sources, the Knicks' first prong is to try to attract the Celtics' Rajon Rondo. This idea has been tossed around in various forms for a while now, it's not shocking. But the way the Knicks are hoping to get Rondo is a little unusual.

The Knicks are hoping Rondo will be interested in making a maneuver similar to what Anthony did back in 2011 and eventually try to force a trade to the Knicks, sources said. That may seem contrived, yes, but this isn't a made-up scenario. It is a genuine option. You have to give the Knicks this: It has worked before.

Like with Anthony when he applied pressure to the Denver Nuggets by threatening to leave in free agency, the Knicks wonder if Rondo will be able to have a say in where he might be traded if the Celtics end up fearful he'll leave in free agency.

So, the Knicks basically want Rajon Rondo to threaten to leave the Celtics via free agency and then demand a trade to the Knicks. That is their strategy for acquiring him. That is a wicked douchey way of doing business.

I thought the Yankees were douchey for throwing ridiculous money at free agents and basically stealing other teams' best players.  This is so much more unprofessional and unethical.  I mean, who the hell are they to tell another team’s best player to demand a trade? 

As soon as that article was published, the commissioner should have stepped in told them to shut their yaps.  They are basically tampering with another team's player.  On top of that, they're urging Rondo to basically bust Danny Ainge's balls and make his job a lot harder than it already is.

The Knicks organization is a friggin joke and the people running it arent businessmen, they are assholes.  That is not how you do business.  I really hope Rajon Rondo calls out the Knicks for their unprofessionalism and goes on the record and tell them to shove their unethical strategy up their ass.


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Merry Christmas








So, This Happened...



I have no idea what to make of this.  A part of me thinks is pretty awesome and a part of me thinks its creepy as hell.








This Sounds About Right



And...









VIDEO: Someone Asked Bill Belichick What His Favorite Christmas Song Was And He Turned Into A Little Kid Right Before Our Eyes. I Didn’t See That Coming.

I honestly thought he was going to get pissy with the reporter who asked.  Who knew Bill Belichick had a soft spot for Christmas Songs?










FINAL: Bruins 6 Predators 2



Remember the days when we would bitch and moan about the Bruins power play? Well, its safe to say those days are over.   The Bruins went 3 for 3 on the power play last night in their ass kicking of the Predators.  Their power play is now ranked fifth in the league and the three power play goals was a season high for them.

Five different players scored for the Bruins--Matt Fraser, Brad Marchand, Reilly Smith, Carl Soderberg and Jarome Iginla (2)-- and Ryan Spooner had three assists.  This team is friggin deep.  And I think Brad Marchand may finally be out of his season long slump. 

The Bruins are (still) in first place in the Atlantic Division, now three points ahead of the Tampon Bay Lightning.  Pissa.






Matt Fraser's First Goal As A Bruin Was Kinda Flukey And Kinda Made Predators Goalie Carter Hutton Look Like An Asshole.

Watch Matt Fraser bury the puck after it takes a funny bounce...then watch Carter Hutton get pulled from the game like an asshole.









VIDEO: Mike Carp Wore A Camera The Night The Red Sox Won The World Series And For The Parade. This Video Is Pissa.









VIDEO: Peyton Manning Says Tom Brady Will Probably Break His Single Season TD Record Next Year, Thus Acknowledging He Is Nothing More Than Brady's Bitch.









You Cant Make This Shit Up. LeGarrette Blount Asked Ray Lewis For Permission To Do His Dance And He Responded: "Kill That Thang."

@LG_Blount

At first, I thought this was some sort of parody account, but its not.  This is LeGarrette Blount's real twitter account.

Honestly, I cant tell if he is mocking Lewis again or if he is serious.  I mean, why would a known murderer tell someone to "kill that thang" when there are a thousand other ways to respond?  Blount has to be busting balls right now.







FINAL: Patriots 41 Ravens 7



The Ravens are nothing more than a middle-of-the-pack bunch of stiffs and they proved it yesterday.  The Patriots absolutely, unequivocally made them their bitch.

In the days leading up to this game, I couldnt not wrap my mind around the fact that almost every "expert" was picking the Ravens.  I just couldnt comprehend it.  Sure, they had won four games in a row coming into this game.  But for that, they deserved a nice golf clap...not to get their balls washed by basically everyone in the media.

So, as I so eloquently predicted in my Keys To The Game, the Patriots absolutely, unequivocally kicked the Ravens square in the balls.   And that is why Masshole Sports is the most trusted media outlet in Boston.  Fuck the contrarian point of view that every other media outlet takes.

Anyway, with this loss the Ravens are now mathematically eliminated from winning the AFC North.  Sucks to be them.  They are now fighting for the last wild card spot. 

This was a game that the Ravens had to win and they didnt even run an offensive play in the Patriots territory until the third quarter.  I dont know how anyone can take this Ravens team seriously.

Joe Flacco is a friggin joke.  He has was sacked four times, threw two interceptions and didnt even throw for a friggin touchdown.  He has now gone two game without throwing a TD pass.  He certainly doesnt look like a guy about to lead his team on a deep playoff run.

For the Patriots, Shane Vereen, Tavon Wilson and Chandler Jones each had a touchdown and LeGarrette Blount had two.  Logan Ryan had two interceptions.  Also, the Patriots were 2 for 2 in the red zone.  That's pissa.

The Patriots are now 11-4 on the season.  Oh yea, and the Patriots clinched their fifth consecutive AFC East title.  Yawn.







Remember These Guys?



Mike Ditka originally picked the Ravens and then changed his pick at the last minute.  His reason was, "everyone else is picking the Ravens, so Ill pick the Patriots."  So, his pick is half assed.







I Think Joe Flacco Got Sacked By The Ghost Of Vince Wilfork Or Something. What The Frig Was This?

Look at that mobility. Elite quarterback my ass.



And here it is in slow motion:


Joe Flacco Is A Friggin Loser








You've Seen The "Manning Face." Now We Have The "Flacco Face."



This is not altered in any way.  After getting his ass beat by the Patriots, Joe Flacco let out a sigh so big that his lips flapped like he was friggin motorboating a double D cup.  Damn.







I Was Hoping To Post Pictures Of The Patriots Celebrating On The Field With Hats And Shirts, But I Guess This Will Have To Do.










This Actually Happened...

via @Alex_Flanagan


Yes, that is a bedazzled Tom Brady jersey and pink tutu.  Alex Flanagan of the NFL Network tweeted this today.  Im telling you, 99% of Ravens fans need to be medicated and locked in their mom's basement.  This isnt being a fan.  This is a scream for help.








Patriots Ravens Keys To The Game




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Patrice Bergeron Fought Tyler Myers Last Night. The Dude Is 6' 8" And Outweighs Him By 25 Pounds. Holy Shit, Bergeron Has Big Brass Balls.

Watch at the 1:33 mark when Tyler Myers puts his stick between Patrice Bergeron's legs and basically tries to crush his dick.  I dont blame Bergeron for losing his shit and fighting this scumbag.

On a side note, this proves just how much of a pussy Brooks Orpik is.  Bergeron isnt a fighter, yet he dropped the gloves with a dude who is 6' 8".  Sometimes you just have to fight even if you know your going to lose.  If Orpik had just fought Thornton, that horseshit 15 game suspension would have never happened. But I digress.









Are The Ravens Really THAT Good Or Do These Guys Just Hate The Patriots THAT Much? Christ Almighty.

via ESPN.com

Someone has to explain that to me because my mind is friggin blown right now.  The Ravens are not an elite team in the NFL.  They arent.  They're a "middle-of-the-pack" team at best.  Which is why this pisses me off so much.

They're ranked 29th in the NFL in total yards, 25th in points per game and they arent even in first place in their division.  Yet every single one of these assholes is picking them to beat the Patriots.  It just doesnt make sense.  It should not be this lopsided.

Just because the Patriots played like shit against the Dolphins doesnt mean they suck.  And just because the Ravens have won four in a row doesnt mean they are an elite team.  These ESPN "experts" are some of the laziest pricks in the business.







I Think This Means Kevin Youkilis Will Play Baseball In Japan Next Year.

via @NPBTracker

Kevin Youkilis has reportedly signed a one year, $4M contract with the Rakuten Golden Eagles of the Japanese Pacific League.  That's interesting.

I guess he got sick of stealing money from the Yankees.  Last season, he played 28 games for the Yankees and the stupid bastids paid him $12 million.  They wanted him back too.  But his agent told Brian Cashman last week that he wasnt interested because he wanted to be closer to his family in California....then signed with a Japanese team.  Talk about shoving up the Yankees asses.







Because I Havent Shat On The Yankees In A While...










10 Years Ago Today, Joe Namath Made An Ass Of Himself On National TV And Embarrassed The Entire Jets Organization. Wow, How Time Flies.



The date was December 20th, 2003.  The Patriots were playing the Jets on Monday Night Football and Suzy Kolber was interviewing Jets legend, Joe Namath.  And this happened:




(and high def televisions weren't even a twinkle in our eyes)






This Season's Greetings Video From The Red Sox Is Friggin Awesome.

Im not even going to write any wiseass commentary about it. Just watch:










FINAL: Sabres 4 Bruins 2



It's nice to see Brad Marchand coming around.  He had two goals.  Other than that, this game sucked.







Cam Neely Thinks Shawn Thornton's 15 Game Suspension Was Bullshit. Well, Not In Those Words.



From CSNNE:
"I know Shawn's looked really ugly and it was ugly," Neely said. "And he certainly felt terrible afterward like most athletes do. I wasn't expecting 15 games."

Neely said a player's intent to injure should play more of a role in determining the discipline.  "They should start looking at intent rather than outcome," Neely said. "If you can prove that there was clear intent rather than is this guy hurt or is he not hurt?"
Neely said Bruins general manager Peter Chiarelli will accompany Thornton to a hearing Friday in New York, where an appeal of the suspension will be considered.

I agree a thousand percent. Lets just hope the NHL Department of Player Safety gets their heads out of their collective asses someday soon.

I mean, the fact that James Neal, who kneed Brad Marchand in the head with the intent to seriously injure him, got less games than Shawn Thornton, who accidentally gave a dude a concussion, is a friggin joke.






Bruins Fan Sign Of The Night









Meanwhile, In Whitey Bulger News: Chris Nilan Says He Is Friends With Whitey Bulger And Visited Him In Jail Once. You Cant Make This Shit Up.



From WEEI:
Former NHL enforcer Chris Nilan joined Dennis & Callahan on Thursday to talk about his hockey career, his post-NHL addiction issues and his friendship with Whitey Bulger that continues to this day. Nilan recalls his initial meeting with the South Boston crime boss, before Nilan’s first date with Bulger’s daughter, Karen Stanley.

“I had my sit-down with him. When I walked in, he sat down, he had a pistol on his lap. He basically told me how he expects her to be treated. At the end of our conversation, I just said, ‘Well, you didn’t need to pull out a gun to tell me that.’ He said, ‘Well, that’s the way I do business” — with a smile.
What I will say is my relationship with him was really good. I got along with him. He was a friend of mine.  
“When he was arrested and he was brought here, I went to visit him one time, said hello to him, asked him how things were. We had a nice talk for a half-hour. 

So, Whitey Bulger went to meet his daughters boyfriend and he casually showed up with a gun?  The dude really was a crazy son of a bitch.

Im surprised Nilan actually likes the guy.  Remember, when the judge ordered Whitey Bulger to forfeit all of his personal belongings found in his Santa Monica apartment after he was captured, he said the only thing he wanted to keep was his 1986 Montreal Canadiens Stanley Cup ring.  It was reportedly Chris Nilans's ring.

Nilan gave it to his father and Bulger stole it from him.  Yet, to this day Chris Nilan considers Whitey Bulger a friend.  They have a friggin weird relationship.







The Bruins Are Playing The Sabres Tonight For The First Time Since John Scott Tried To End Loui Eriksson’s Career.

John Scott Is A Piece Of Shit


John Scott is a six foot, eight inch, 270 pound piece of shit. Remember, Loui Eriksson got a concussion on this play and the piece of shit got an eight game suspension.  But not before Adam McQuaid punched him in the face twice and tossed him to the ice like a rag doll.  Here's the play as it happened, including the fight:




I wonder who the piece of shit will target tonight.  I mean, he must be licking his chops right now.  The dude is the textbook definition of a "dirty player" and with both Shawn Thornton and Adam McQuaid out, he knows he can get away with a good one tonight.  Stay tuned.







VIDEO: Mike Milbury Rips John Scott A New Asshole On National TV. Says Players In The NHL "Should Be Able To Skate And Pass" And John Scott "Doesnt Belong In The League."



Mike Milbury makes a good point. John Scott has played in 18 games this year and has 0 points. He's not an enforcer who lives by the code.  He's a piece of shit thug who repeatedly crosses the line and intentionally hurts the NHL's most skilled players.  The guy is bad for the sport.






A-Rod Was At David Ortiz's Charity Golf Tournament And Crossed His Legs Just Like The Girl He Was With. That's A Little Odd.

This is a non-photoshopped picture of Alex Rodriguez and his date at David Ortiz's celebrity golf tournament in the Dominican Republic.










VIDEO: Kevan Miller Knocked David Jones' Helmet Into The Crowd Last Night And Some Crazy Bastid Put It On His Head And Took A Picture With It On.

Honestly, I probably would have done the same thing.











FINAL: Bruins 2 Flames 0



With all the injuries the Bruins are dealing with, it would be real easy for them to mail it in and lose a stinker every now and then, but this team just hasnt done that. They dont play down to their competition. They consistently beat sucky teams...and that is pissa.

Zdeno Chara score two power play goals and Tuukka Rask had 21 saves against the sad sack Flames. With those two goals, Chara is now tied for the league lead in goals by a defenseman.









Your Tweet Of The Day

@DanaFarber

Shawn Thornton will forever have, "ya but he was suspended for 15 games once" attached to his legacy.  Thankfully, those who actually follow the Bruins will always be able to say, "ya but it was a bullshit suspension."  This man is not a friggin monster. 










I Think I Just Found New Wallpaper For My Laptop

Yes, this is Bobby Orr's iconic goal NHL94 style.









The Miami Heat Will Wear "Nickname Jerseys" For Four Games This Season. Ray Allen's Will Be J. Shuttlesworth.









Milan Lucic Would Be So Proud Of This "Fuck Vancoova" Dude

Milan Lucic said he was "disgusted" and "outraged" by the people of Vancouver after he was attacked this past weekend--and because they vandalized his church with a picture of a cock (picture here) and the words "fuck Lucic Go Canucks Go" one time and also harassed his grandmother at Rogers Center during the Stanley Cup Final in 2011.

Anyway, I imagine Lucic would be so proud of this masshole who boldly tells the world to "fuck Vancoova" (this video was taken on the Orange Line after Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Final in 2011).










MASSHOLE WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY


Drive carefully, Massholes.  Its a bitch out there. 





Yup. The Bear & The Gang Christmas Spectacular Is About As Weird As I Thought It Would To Be.









FINAL: Celtics 101 Timberwolves 97


These guys are ruining their chances at getting a lottery pick and its really starting to piss me off.

What the hell is the point of winning these games and living in NBA purgatory?  I want to go to another friggin parade. I don’t want to watch a mediocre team get bounced in the first round of the playoffs for the rest of my life.







This Is A Nice Picture Of Gronk In A Scooter. But At The Same Time It Sucks....He's In A Friggin Scooter.

via BustedCoverage


This is painful.  He cant even walk around a super market for Christ's sake.







This Little Masshole Can Dance. Too Bad There Was No One At The Celtics Game Last Night To Watch Him.



Seriously, look at all those empty seats. What a waste of a pretty good performance.







Milan Lucic Is Going To Sue The Asshole Who Tried To Start A Fight With Him This Weekend And I Think He Is All Set With The City Of Vancouver Too.



After getting attacked by some asshole outside a bar in his hometown, Milan Lucic had some strong words for the people of Vancouver .  He met with the media and said the following:
“From this point forward, I'm looking to pursue this in a legal manner. That's probably as much as I can say now. Like I said, I was the victim of the attack. I didn't engage in the attack as you can see in the video. I showed restraint by not retaliating in a physical manner and that's basically it.”

"It's in my hometown and going back to the spray-painting of the church and my grandparents and parents and family getting harassed during the Finals against the Canucks in 2011 and now it's escalated to a point where I get attacked for just minding my own business."

“I have no reason left to defend my city and the people of my city. I'm just disgusted and outraged that it came to something like that. As far as that goes, other than being at Rogers Arena, nobody will see me in downtown Vancouver ever again.”

These are the people who burned down their own friggin city after the Canucks lost in the Stanley Cup Finals.  Im surprised it took Lucic so long to see the light.

If you havent seen the video of the stupid fuck trying to start a fight with Lucic, here it is: