Peter Chiarelli Used The Media To Shit All Over Tyler Seguin. Says He Needs To Be More "Professional" And Focus More On Hockey.



From Boston.com:
Bruins GM Peter Chiarelli issued his most emphatic critique of Tyler Seguin since the forward entered the NHL.

“He’s got to commit his mind and focus to the one task at hand,” Chiarelli said. “He’s got to become more of a professional. You know what? I can say that about a lot of 21-year-olds."

I really dont understand why Peter Chiarelli has a thorn in his ass over Tyler Seguin these days.  I really dont.   This past season, he scored 16 in 48 games, which was good for second on the team.  He also scored 25 goals in 29 games during the lockout for EHC Biel.  Combined, he scored 41 goals in 77 games.

Sure he only had one goals in the postseason, but its not like he was dogging it.  The dude had 70 shots in 22 games.  That was good for second the team, behind only Patrice Bergeron.   And he showed strides in terms of his defensive play this postseason too. I mean, he isnt going to be a Selke nominee anytime soon, but the guy isnt a net hanger like Phil Kessel.

Maybe its simply the fact that Chiarelli is just pissy because his team didnt win the Stanley Cup or maybe he's just jealous because Seguin gets laid more than he does.  I dont know.  But the guy has to lay off Seguin.  He really does.  I think Chiarelli is a great GM but the guy is starting to piss me of with this irrational, unnecessary ball busting.

Tyler Seguin will be just fine.  




Jeremy Jacobs Met With The Media To Talk About The Bruins Season. I Must Say, Listening To This Asshat Talk About Hockey Is Friggin Painful.

Listening to this Jeremy Jacobs talk about hockey is like listening to nails being scraped along a chalkboard. The guy is friggin clueless when it comes to the game.  He shouldnt be in the business of owning an NHL team, he really shouldnt.  He doesnt deserve to be an owner in the NHL

I cant even stand looking at this guys friggin face, so I dont know why Im even posting this. But it happened, so I feel like I should. Get ready to cringe:



The most cringe worthy moment comes when Jacobs explains, "That we wound up losing in the sixth game was probably the most iconic hockey game that Ive seen in a long time. I shouldnt say just game, but the series.."

I think he was trying to say, “we lost the series in six games and it was an iconic series.” The dude should have rehearsed his lines a little more.





All The Pink Hat Bruins Fans Can Put Their Tissues Away. Im Pretty Sure This Means Tyler Seguin Wont Be Traded.


I think its safe to say Tyler Seguin isnt going anywhere.

On a side note, I have no friggin idea why the Bruins even met with Vincent Lecavalier.  The dude made $10 million last year and was a $7.7 million cap hit.  Im not a numbers nerd so I have no idea how much money the Bruins really have in available cap space, but considering the salary cap in the NHL is going down in 2013-2014, Im pretty sure they cant afford this guy.

He probably just used Chiarelli to create a market for himself and get a free lunch.  And there's nothing wrong with that.




FINAL: Red Sox 5 Blue Jays 4



So much for the “surging" Blue Jays. I cant believe this team actually won 11 games in a row earlier this month. They just dont seem like that good of a team, they really dont. They came into Fenway Park for a four game series and ended up getting bitchslapped by the Red Sox, losing 3 of 4.

Coming into this series, the Blue Jays were 6.5 games back and in last place in the AL East. Today the are 8.5 games back and still in last place. Sucks to be them.

Anyway, about the game. Ryan Dempster pitched a decent game, going 5.1 innings and allowing only 2 runs. Koji Uehara shat the bed for the first time since officially being named the Red Sox closer but thankfully some guy named Josh Thole couldn’t handle hard ground ball by Shane Victorino in the bottom of the ninth with two men on and the Red Sox ended up winning on a walkoff error.

Stephen Drew missed his second consecutive game with menstrual cramps...I mean tightness in his right hamstring.  But it didnt matter.  Jose Iglesias moved over to shortstop and Brandon Snyder played third and went 2 for 4 with 2 RBI.

I wouldnt call this a pretty win, but it was pretty friggin sweet seeing another walkoff.  I really dont give a shit it was on an error.  A win is a win.  And the Red Sox ended up taking 3 of 4 from the "surging" Blue Jays.  Wicked pissa.




So Nathan Horton Doesnt Want To Be A Bruin Anymore. That Sucks. That Really Sucks.



Im surprised people arent more pissed about this. Nathan Horton basically told the Bruins to screw. He said that he will test the free agent market and his decision isn’t about the money, he just wants to “move on.”

Either he is full of shit, and it really is about the money, or he didn’t like playing here.  At this point, I have no frigin idea what to believe.  Im sure the truth will come out eventually, assuming the Bruins beat writer with press passes and sources do their job.  Either way, I'm disappointed.

Sure, the guy was inconsistent during the regular season, but he was tied for second in overall playoff scoring this year.  The Krejci, Lucic, Horton line was in full beast mode during these playoffs.  And you must admit, Nathan Horton is friggin clutch in the playoffs.

I dont expect him to take a "hometown discount" but he is part of the core of this team and it sucks that he wouldnt want to come back.  It just friggin sucks.

I guess we should get start mentally preparing ourselves for a David Krejci, Milan Lucic and Jarome Iginla first line next season.  Book it.





And Now Female Bruins Fans Reacting To Tyler Seguin Trade Rumors With Great Insight And Hockey Analysis

These are real tweets from real "Bruins fans" reacting with great insight and hockey analysis to the Tyler Seguin trade rumors:













Stephen Drew Left Last Nights Game Due To "Tightness" In His Right Hamstring. This Guy Really Needs To Grow A Pair Of Balls.


Technically speaking, Stephen Drew didnt leave the game last night due to an injury. He left because he felt tightness in his hamstring.  And when he pulls shit like he did last night, we have every right to be pissed off.

We just watched Patrice Bergeron play a Stanley Cup Final game with a friggin hole in his lung.  We watched Dustin Pedroia play the first 53 games of the season with a torn ligament in his thumb.

I understand that last nights game wasnt a Stanley Cup Final game.  That being said, Stephen Drew is still a pussy.

I guarantee that if Dustin Pedroia felt "tightness" in  his hamstring last night, he would have played through it.  Because that's what gamers do.  I wonder how much pride Stephen Drew felt watching his team come back and win that game knowing he was not a part of it.  Actually, I wonder if the friggin baby even stayed and watched.

Id love to know if he even got treatment for his "tight" hamstring.  Im not a trainer so I dont know...do you even get treated for a "tight" hamstring?  Or do you just stretch, rub it a little bit then sit back and watch a Lifetime movie with a pint of ice cream on your lap?

But seriously, the only reason I even care is because Stephen Drew is a damn good baseball player.  And it is so friggin frustrating seeing him pull bullshit like this.  I just wish he would grow a pair of balls half the size of Dustin Pedroia's and play through the pain.

Leaving a game with "tightness" in your hamstring is unacceptable in a town with Patrice Bergeron and Dustin Pedroia.  Sure the guy has talent and sure people who know baseball will stand with the guy, but today Stephen Drew deserves to be shat on.





VIDEO: Taiwanese Animators Recreation Of The Aaron Hernandez Situation Includes Blunts And Bubblicious Gum






VIDEO: Im Pretty Sure Corey Crawford Was Shitfaced When He Gave This Speech At The Blackhawks Parade. Not That Im Judging Him Or Anything.

Believe me, I wouldve loved to have seen a drunk Brad Marchand give a speech had the Bruins won. Anyway, you tell me if this dude is shitfaced or not:






Aaron Hernandez Was Wearing A Nike "Hot Handed Cold Blooded" Shirt Two Days Before Odin lloyd Was Allegedly Killed In Cold Blood. You Cant Make This Shit Up

 From TMZ:
TMZ has obtained a photo of Aaron Hernandez taken on June 15 ... hours after the alleged nightclub fight with Odin Lloyd that prosecutors believe led to his murder.
The photo of former New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was snapped at a Marshall's in Massachusetts on June 15th, two days before the shooting death of former semi-pro football player Odin Lloyd ... whom Hernandez has been charged with murdering in cold blood.

So Aaron Hernandez has been arrested and charged with murdering Odin Lloyd in cold blood and two days before the alleged incident happened he was wearing this shirt?  Thats just friggin eerie.

For the record, "Hot Handed Cold Blooded" is a shirt made by Nike and its a sports reference, so its not like Hernandez made a custom shirt as some sort of premonition or advertisement as to what was about to happen.  But considering what we now know, you must admit it was wicked ballsy of him to wear this shirt.





Blackhawks Took Out Full Page Ad In The Globe Thanking Bostonians For "Demonstrating Respect And Good Sportsmanship" During The Stanley Cup Final. I Guess They Don’t Read Masshole Sports.



Well, that was nice of them.  Dont I feel like a dick right now.  Here I am shitting all over them after every win and they come back with a polite thank you.

The Blackhawks are a classy organization.  Ive said that from the beginning.  And there wasnt much to hate about them or their fans, really.  They play hockey the right way and their fans get it.  It sucked that the Bruins lost but at least they lost to an organization and a fanbase that respects the game just like we do.

If the Bruins had played and lost to the LA Kings it wouldve been an injustice to the sport of hockey and Id be ripshit right now. But they lost to the Blackhawks so Im just pissed off.






Danny Ainge Has Balls. He Traded Kevin Garnett And Paul Pierce To The Brooklyn Nets Last Night.


From Yahoo Sports:
The Brooklyn Nets have reached an agreement in principle with the Boston Celtics to acquire future Hall of Famers Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce after Garnett agreed to waive his no-trade clause, league sources told Yahoo! Sports.

The trade can't be made official by the NBA until July 10.

The deal centers around a package that sends Gerald Wallace, Kris Joseph, the expiring deal of Kris Humphries and three future first-round picks (2014, '16 and '18) to the Celtics, sources told Y! Sports. The Celtics also will have the right to trade first-round picks with the Nets in 2017 if the Nets have the higher pick.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Danny Ainge's balls. And I like this trade.

This trade was very Belichickian.  It really was.  Lets face it, the ride was over.  The Celtics were the #7 seed last season and got bounced in the first round.  It was just time.  The Celtics had assets that the Nets saw value in and Danny Ainge flushed sentimental value down the shitter and went to work. 

I understand that there was sentimental value in having Paul Pierce retire a Celtic, considering this is the only team he has ever played for and he absolutely loved this city and loved Celtics fans, but Danny Ainge just didnt give a shit about that.  In the end, he did what was in the best interest of winning another championship.  And for that he should be commended.

This may be sacrilegious to say, but Danny Ainge had the big brass balls to do what Red Auerbach didnt have the balls to do.  He gave the middle finger to popular opinion and traded away the aging face of the franchise.

Kudos Danny.  Kudos.




VIDEO: People Were Chanting "Innocent" And Cheered As Aaron Hernandez Left Court Yesterday. What The Hell Is Wrong With People?



These people are friggin soft in the head. Either that or they just havent been paying attention to the details of this case and were just excited to see a former Patriot player in person.

It was cute in the beginning but "innocent until proven guilty" is pure bullshit at this point.  Anyone who is still clinging to that is a friggin moron and needs to be medicated.





Bruins Release A Video Thanking Fans. Its Not A Championship DVD But They Lost The Friggin Series So This Is What We Get.

Sure this video was nicely put together but I wanted a friggin championship DVD. I wanted the Stanley Cup Champions hat and the t-shirt and all that shit. But the Bruins fell two games short. And for that we get this video. Enjoy:







FINAL: Red Sox 7 Blue Jays 4


Not only do the Red Sox have the best record in the American League, they are now tied with the Cardinals and the Pirates for the most wins in Major League Baseball with 48....and I have a wicked big pants tent.

Anyway, about the game.  The Blue Jays were 8-2 in their last 10 games coming into this game. And last night they sucked.  The Red Sox beat them 7-4 but it never really felt that close. The Sox were up 7-0 after the second inning and the Blue Jays just mailed it in the rest of the way as if they just didnt give a shit.

Jon Lester looked like shit early but the Blue Jays case of limp dick actually made him look like he was pitching well. He went 7 innings and allowed 4 runs. He left in the eight inning after an apparent hip injury which turned out to be nothing. Lester claimed he felt a "zinging sensation" down his leg whatever the frig that means.

Anyway, he reportedly will be ready to make his next start. Its a good thing because if he were to miss any time because of a sore hip, he would take a lot of shit considering Patrice Bergeron played a Stanley Cup Final game with a friggin hole in his lung.

Anyway, the Blue Jays are in town for three more days.  This is going to be friggin awesome.





What A Bunch Of Friggin Perverts

This is Pornhub's traffic chart on the night of Game 6.


I dont know how anyone could get a pants tent after what happened.





Bail Was Denied For Aaron Hernandez At His Bail Review Hearing Today...But That Doesnt Mean He Wont Be Playing Football Soon.



Aaron Hernandez was back in court Thursday for a bail review hearing. His lawyer asked that bail be set at $250,000 and that he be required to wear an ankle bracelet. The judge basically told him to screw. His bail request was denied and he will have to sit in a cell and wait for his trial. Sucks to be him.





Ignorant Horny Chicks Reacting To Aaron Hernandez Being Charged With Murder.

Further proof that we, as a society, are screwed.  These are real tweets by real people.

via @arianna_013


via @AshleyMG23

via @Vanessa_Harvey7

via @KhlaleelahLeslie



via @Cia0_bella






While The Blackhawks Were Getting Drunk And Making Love To The Stanley Cup This Week, Zdeno Chara Went To Canobie Lake Park. I Shit You Not.

This is the Rowdy Rooster ride at Canobie Lake Park:



And this is Zdeno Chara riding the Rowdy Rooster:



And this is Zdeno Chara after riding the Rowdy Rooster:



I understand that Chara was just spending time with his family after a long and exhausting Stanley Cup playoff run, but I would have much rather seen pictures of him at Foxwoods getting drunk with the Stanley Cup. As a wise man once said, it is what it is.





Aaron Hernandez's Stats Have Been Removed From NFL.com. Roger Goodell Is Not Fucking Around.

This is Aaron Hernandez's NFL.com profile page:




Thats it.  Its like he never even existed.  I think its safe to say Roger Goodell is pissed right now.




Go Ahead Ravens. The Clock Is Ticking.







Your Tweet Of The Day


This was tweeted yesterday at 5:04pm after all the charges against Aaron Hernandez were announced, after NFL.com removed all of his stats from their website and after the Patriots removed every piece of Aaron Hernandez merchandise from their pro shop.

I dont even have a smart ass comment to make right now.  Im just speechless.





Rob Gronkowski Took A Picture With A Porn Star And Everyone Went Apeshit. Aaron Hernandez Took A Picture With A Gun 4 Yrs Ago And No One Gave Two Shits.

via TMZ

From TMZ:
Aaron Hernandez was locked and loaded 4 years before his current alleged murder predicament ... and he made sure to capture the gun-toting moment on camera.
TMZ has obtained this photo ... showing a 19-year-old Aaron brandishing a Glock handgun for a selfie iPhone pic. You can see a magazine inserted into the gun, but it's unclear if it was loaded.

Why did it take 4 years for this picture to come out?  You're telling me that people saw this picture and thought nothing of it?  Not one person thought to leak it to the media and out this guy as a gun toting asshole?

Yet Tom Brady slides down a water slide and the picture is plastered everywhere, Rob Gronkowsi poses for a picture with a porn star and the media runs with it.  Christ, I feel cheated.  Before all this bullshit, I had no idea this guy was as much of a scumbag as he was.

Now we know that he shot a dude in the face once and took a picture of himself holding what appears to be a loaded gun.  What a friggin loser.





The Patriots Did The Right Thing And Removed ALL Aaron Hernandez Merchandise From The Pro Shop...And Made The Ravens Look Like Dicks At The Same Time.

In an attempt to distance themselves from Aaron Hernandez, the Patriots have removed all Aaron Hernandez merchandise from their Pro Shop.   If you search for "Aaron Hernandez" at the Patriots Pro Shop, you'll see this:




Meanwhile, if you search Ray Lewis at the Ravens Pro Shop, you'll see this:



I just cant get over the fact that the dude was arrested for murder and the Ravens organization (and fans) just didnt give two shits because he was good at tackling people.  If the Ravens had any class, they would have done what the Kraft family did.  But they dont...and they didnt.

The Ravens are a pathetic excuse for a professional football team and their fans are a disgrace to football.  I hope they are paying attention to this Aaron Hernandez situation and I hope those arrogant pricks live with the shame of their failure for the rest of their lives.





So I Guess "Hernandezing" Is A Thing Now?























VIDEO: Jeremy Shaap Of ESPN Thinks Aaron Rodgers, Not Aaron Hernandez, Was Charged With Murder Yesterday.

What a friggin idiot.  How hard is it to remember the name Aaron Hernandez?






FINAL: Red Sox 5 Rockies 3


I've shat on John Lackey a lot over the past two seasons but its time to give the dude credit. He matched a career high with 12 strikeouts yesterday and allowed only 2 runs over 7 innings, lowering his ERA to 2.99 on the season.

And how friggin awesome was it to see the new Red Sox closer Koji Uehara come in for the ninth and have a 1-2-3 inning?  I hope Andrew Bailey enjoys his mop up duty for the rest of the season.

Anyway, the Red Sox now have a 3.5 game lead over the Orioles and Yankees in the AL East which is their biggest lead of the season.  That is wicked pissa.  The Blue Jays come to town for four games starting today.  They are 8-2 in their last ten games.  It should be interesting.





The Patriots Have Already Released Aaron Hernandez. Kinda Makes The Ravens Look Like Dicks For Supporting Ray Lewis All Those Years.


Here is the Patriots official statement:
“A young man was murdered last week and we extend our sympathies to the family and friends who mourn his loss. Words cannot express the disappointment we feel knowing that one of our players was arrested as a result of this investigation. We realize that law enforcement investigations into this matter are ongoing. We support their efforts and respect the process. At this time, we believe this transaction is simply the right thing to do.”

I friggin love the Patriots organization.  They didnt waste any time.  They made it very clear that despite Aaron Hernandez's incredible talent, they dont support lowlife, scumbags.

On a side note, this makes the Ravens look like wicked big dicks for supporting Ray Lewis all those years.  And it makes Ravens fans look like even bigger dicks for buying his jerseys and basically worshiping the scumbag.

Well, he's available now.  I wonder how long before we hear the rumbling from Ravens fans to sign the scumbag.




They Finally Arrested Him



The Mass State Police announced on twitter that Aaron Hernandez has been arrested and will be arraigned this afternoon in an Attleboro court. The charges havent been announced yet.

The Kraft family must be bullshit right now.  One of their players being taken from his home in handcuffs.  Wow.  I hope this asshole never puts on a Patriots inform again.  If I ever see him on the same as Tom Brady, Vince Wilfork, etc ever again I am going to be ripshit. 

I just cant comprehend why someone who makes the money he makes and lives the privileged life he lives would get into bullshit that leads to the State Police showing up at your front door.

This guy just spit in the Kraft family's face and made Patriots fans everywhere look like real assholes.  As of right now, he is basically in the same situation Ray Lewis was in back in 2000...and that makes me sick to my friggin stomach.

What a friggin disgrace.





Here's Something To Ease The Pain Of The Bruins Losing A Little Bit



Considering how the Bruins season ended, if the Red Sox were in last place--or in the middle of the pack, even--Id be in a very dark place right now.  But they arent.

So we should be all take comfort in the fact that, despite the shaky bullpen, the Red Sox are kicking the shit out of the American League right now and they will help us get our minds off of the Bruins loss.

And for all the Massholes out there who dont follow baseball, there is plenty of room on the bandwagon.  Jump on.  Trust me, it will ease the pain.






FINAL: Red Sox 11 Rockies 4


Its hard for me to get excited about anything right now.  Im still mourning the fact that the Bruins were two friggin wins away from winning the Stanley Cup.  But Ill be honest, the bitch slap the Red Sox laid on the Rockies last night felt pretty good.  I didnt get a pants tent, but I felt a tingle.

Jacoby Ellsbury, Daniel Nava, Jose Iglesias and Dustin Pedroia each had three hits and every single player in the lineup had at least one hit.  The 20 hits was the most the Red Sox have had in a game all season.  We needed a win like that.  We really did.




Patrice Bergeron Is A Friggin Gamer








FINAL: Blackhawks 3 Bruins 2. The Series Is Over.


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This Dude Is Every One Of Us Right Now.







This Is The Cover Of The Toronto Sun Today. They Can Go Fuck Themselves.







LeBron James Posted This On Instragram After Last Nights Game. He Can Go Fuck Himself.

LeBron James posted this last night on Instagram:


As if we needed another reason to hate the Miami Heat.  That dude can go fuck himself.





Your Tweet Of The Night.



Whoever did that can go fuck themselves.




NHL.com Teased Us By Putting Bruins Stanley Cup Champions Hats On Their Website Last Night. They Can Go Fuck Themselves.

via BustedCoverage

 I would look so friggin badass in that hat.  I really wish I hadnt seen that hat.  NHL.com can go fuck themselves.





Game 6 Is Tonight And I Have Just One Message For The Bruins