Sunday, June 2, 2013

FINAL: Bruins 3 Penguins 0. Zdeno Chara Shut Down Sidney Crosby, Tuukka Rask Stood On His Head And I Have A Wicked Big Pants Tent Right Now.



The Bruins didn’t steal game one, they beat the Penguins in every aspect of the game. There is a difference. Even though the national media will say repeatedly that the Bruins stole this game. Ignore the noise. It is bullshit.

Im trying really hard not to get ahead of myself, but how the hell can I not feel good about where this series is going.

The Penguins were averaging 4.27 goals during these playoffs coming into the game and couldn’t do shit against Tuukka Rask.  Sidney Crosby was a no-show, Evgeni Malkin was a no-show and their goalie sucked.  I seriously have to take a cold shower to calm myself down.

Its worth noting that the Penguins had almost the same amount of shots as the Bruins (Bruins had 30, Penguins 29). That tells me two things: Tomas Vokoun sucks and Tuukka Rask stood on his head.




Coming into this series, people were constantly washing Sidney Crosby’s balls and drooling over how great this Penguins offense was. Well, for the first time all playoffs, they faced a real goalie and they failed. They failed miserably. Tuukka Rask shut down what people were calling the most potent offense since the 80’s Oilers.

And the Penguins don’t have an answer for David Krejci.  He came into this series leading the NHL in playoff scoring and scored two goals...and still leads the NHL in playoff scoring.  If they cant find a way to shut him down, the Penguins are up shits creek without a paddle.

Zdeno Chara makes Sidney Crosby look like an asshole.  I cant believe this is the guy that everyone calls the greatest player in the world.  He looked like just another middle-of-the pack stiff to me.



On a side note, Milan Lucic was right. The Penguins really are the Miami Heat of the NHL. The level of douchbaggery I saw in that game was off the charts. People think Im just a loud-mouthed Masshole when I call Sidney Crosby a whiny little bitch, the dude proved my point last night.

I mean, the bullshit they pulled at the end of the second period was disgraceful. Sidney Crosby shoving Tuukka Rask then mouthing off to Zdeno Chara and Evgeni Malkin starting shit with Patrice Bergeron? Come on. Penguins fans should be ashamed of their team right now.

It will be really interesting to see how the Penguins adjust for Game 2.  There is no reason to think Crosby will flip a switch and be able to penetrate Chara.  And they cant put Marc-Andre Fleury in net and get a much better performance that what Vokoun gave them.  Most people have the balls to say this right now, but I do: the Penguins are screwed.