FINAL: Bruins 6 Penguins 1. Im Not Going To Lie, Even In My Wettest Dream I Did Not See This Happening.

I know, I know.  This series isn’t over. But lets be series...this series is over.  The Penguins are done. They are friggin done. These guys cannot penetrate the Bruins suffocating defense and they know it.

The Bruins are causing a ton of turnovers and Sidney Crosby looks scared shitless every time he is on the ice with Zdeno Chara.  Yes, even boy wonder looks like shit against the Bruins.  He is making mistakes, he is making stupid decisions and has become a shell of himself.  He has no points in this series for Christ's sake.  None.

On top of that, the Penguins worst nightmare has come true.  They have a goaltending controversy.  This is just too perfect. I need someone to pinch me to make sure Im not dreaming. This has just been too friggin easy so far.

Im not shocked at all that the Bruins have scored 9 goals in two games against the Penguins.  I mean, we knew coming into this series that their goaltending sucks.  What is stunning is that the Bruins have held Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, James Neal, Jarome Iginla and Kris Letang without a point in two games. Holy fucking shit.

Im not taking anything away from Tuukka Rask—the dude has been great—but this is Claude Juliens series. This is about the Bruins playing Claude Juliens system of team defense and making the Penguins just look like absolute shit.  Despite what the delusions Penguins fans will say, this is not about the Penguins simply not executing. Its much deeper than that.

Sure, the Crosby ball washers will say that he just hasnt showed up yet.  But come on.  Anyone with a hockey IQ above zero knows that Sidney Crosby is not going to show up in this series.  He had time to watch the game film from Game 1 and make adjustments and he still came out in Game 2 and  sucked.  The guy is done.

The bottom line is Zdeno Chara friggin owns Sidney Crosby.  He might as well put a dog collar on the dudes neck and take him for walks through the park.

So, the Boston Bruins have won the first two games of the Eastern Conference Finals on the road.  Even in my wettest dream, I didn’t see this happening.