FINAL: Red Sox 9 Yankees 2

Not only did the Red Sox beat the shit out of the Yankees 9-2 in front of a national tv audience and complete a three game sweep, they also mathematically eliminated the Yankees from winning the AL East title in front of a national tv audience. That was friggin awesome.

We’ve known for a long time that the Yankees weren’t going to win the AL East, but now it is official. And it happened on a night when the Red Sox “honored” Mariano Rivera to boot. What a kick in the dick.

Speaking of Mariano Rivera, I am stunned that the Red Sox mentioned the blown save in Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS in the pregame ceremony honoring him. I didn’t think they had the testicular fortitude to show it. Then again, maybe the braintrust visited Masshole Sports and saw that I basically called them out earlier in the day.

Anyway, about the game.  Mike Napoli continued to make the Yankees his bitch, hitting a 2-run moon shot to center field in the first inning. It was his seventh home run against the Yankees this season. He also broke Mark Bellhorn’s record for most strikeouts in a season by a Red Sox player. I could have sworn Rob Deer held that record. But I digress.

Daniel Nava went 4 for 5 and Clay Buchholz pitches six innings, walking four, striking out three and allowing only one run (which was unearned). The dude is now 11-0 on the season with a 1.51 ERA. If this guy didn’t take most of the summer off with menstrual cramps, he’d probably be the favorite for the Cy Young this year. And if my aunt had a dick she’d be my uncle.

The Red Sox have the best record in all of MLB and are the only team with more than 90 wins.  They are now eight wins away from 100 with eleven games left to play and their magic number to clinch the AL East is four.  This still doesn’t feel real to me.  I am going to lose my shit when they do clinch.  I really am.