FINAL: Bruins 3 Rangers 2

How cute of the Rangers to come to the Garden, play in front of a national TV audience and get their asses handed to them.  Oh yea, and the biggest dude on the team got his ass kicked by Zdeno Chara.  What a friggin day.

Anyway, it's nice to see Brad Marchand heating up.  He had a goal and an assist on the day. And Chara was in full beast mode with a goal, an assist and a fight, aka the Gordie Howe Hat Trick.

The Bruins are 8-0-2 in their last 10 games and (still) have the best record in the Eastern Conference.  Pissa.

VIDEO: Zdeno Chara's Gordie Howe Hat Trick

Here is Zdeno Chara's assist, fight and then goal. Enjoy:

This Sounds About Right

Happy Thanksgiving My Fellow Massholes


NEWSFLASH: Tom Brady Is Better Than Peyton Manning.

Tom Brady has been named AFC Offensive Player of the Week for his performance in the Patriots' come-from-behind 34-31 overtime victory against Denver last Sunday night. It is the 24th time in Brady's career that he has received the AFC Offensive Player of the Week honor.

Brady was 21-of-28 for 228 yards with three touchdowns in the second half. The Patriots scored 34 points, marking the 11th consecutive time that a Brady-led Patriots offense has scored at least 30 points on Sunday Night Football.

The comeback against the Broncos marked the 39th time that Brady has led the Patriots to victory following a fourth-quarter deficit or tie (including playoffs)

So, the Patriots beat the Broncos and Tom Brady has been named AFC Offensive Player of the Week after his performance.  What a friggin week.

And Another Patriots Has Won An AFC Honor

Chandler Jones has been named AFC Defensive Player of the Month for November by the National Football League. It is the first time in his career that he has received the honor. Jones registered 16 total tackles and four sacks in the team’s three November games to push his season total to 10 1/2 sacks.
Jones is the first Patriots player to earn an AFC Defensive Player of the Month honor since S Eugene Wilson was named AFC Defensive Player of the Month for September in 2004.


Here's A Weather Alert For All You Massholes Traveling Today

Wow. ESPN's Hardon For Peyton Manning Just Will Not Go Away. This Was On ESPN Mobile TODAY.

via ESPN Mobile

Jesus H. Christ this is embarrassing.

Where do I even begin?  So, choosing to throw the ball a mere 36 times and running the ball 48 times is considered "using your mind?"  Throwing for 150 yards and having a quarterback rating of 70.4 is considered excelling?  And did I miss something?  The Broncos lost that game right?

I feel like living in a friggin bizarro world or something.  Peyton Manning called a terrible game on Sunday.  He was a pussy and relied on the Broncos running game to try and get them through that game and he failed.  Yet ESPN still had the balls to run with this headline.

Its been longer than four hours...its time for ESPN to call their doctor.

FINAL: Bruins 4 Penguins 3 (OT)

The Penguins think they are NHL royalty.  They think their shit dont stink.  Well, nice loss bitches.  The Bruins (and not the Penguins) continue to lead the Eastern Conference in wins and points.  The Bruins are now 16-6-2 and have 34 points on the season.  They are also 8-1-1 in their last ten games.

I remember, before the season, when basically everyone predicted the Penguins would win the Eastern Conference--hell, even the EA Sports simulator had them winning.  Bullshit.

Cam Neely Was An Emotional Wreck Last Night. Watch Him Go From "Sea Bass" Pissed To "Fuck Yea" Happy.

When Sidney Crosby scored with less than a second left in the game, Cam Neely was pissed. He was like, Sea Bass pissed.

When Torey Krug scored 34 seconds into overtime, he changed his tune a bit and went all "fuck yea" happy.

I think its safe to say Cam Neely likes shoving it up the Penguins' asses a little more than any other team in this league.  Maybe its the Ulf Samuelsson bullshit from back in the day or maybe its just the fact that the Penguins are perennial favorites to win the Eastern Conference despite the Bruins dominance over the past few years, I dont know.

Either way, I friggin love the fact that he wears his emotions on his sleeve.

VIDEO: Torey Krug Makes The Penguins His Bitch In Overtime

Torey Krug has to be the favorite for rookie of the year. And Im not just saying that because Im still sportsgasming from his overtime goal. The dude has seven goal and eight assists in 15 games this year. The guy is friggin unreal.

Your Non-Photoshopped Fan Sign Of The Night

This is from the WWE Pay Per View event at the Garden Sunday Night.  I didnt even know wrestling fans knew what real sports were, never mind who the play by play guy for the Bruins is.

And The Ballwashing Of Tom Brady At ESPN Has Begun. I Friggin Love It.

via @jtdockter

The Patriots win over the Broncos Sunday night may have been franchise altering for the Broncos. That is not hyperbole. All of a sudden ESPN seems to be washing a certain quarterbacks balls that isnt named Peyton Manning.

And so it begins...

I Think This Pretty Much Sums Up Overtime Last Night

FINAL: Patriots 34 Broncos 31

I knew the Patriots were going to win this game. I really did. I just figured there was no way Peyton Manning would win a game of this magnitude. He just doesn’t have the balls.

Did I think the Patriots would suck in the first half, go down 24 points and then come back?  Hell no.  But I knew this was considered a statement game for the Patriots and it was in front of a national tv audience and Peyton Manning just doesnt have the testicular fortitude to win games like this.

And his lack of balls was prominently on display last night. The dude handed off the ball 48 times. How the hell does a team quarterbacked by Peyton Manning run the ball 48 times? I can tell you why. Because even his coach knows he doesn’t have any balls.  He only threw for 150 yards for Christ's sake.

On the other side of the spectrum, Bill Belichick and Tom Brady have the biggest balls of them all. I mean, how friggin ballsy was it of Bill Belichick to win the coin toss and defer in overtime?  You have to have big brass ones to do that. I mean, friggin humungous.

I understand that the wind played a role in his decision, but if the Broncos were to score a touchdown, the game would be over. Yet Belichick had that much confidence in his defense and that much faith in Manning and Jack Del Rio being pussys and not throwing the ball.

And how friggin awesome was it to see Wes Welker screw up that punt in overtime?  This game had all the makings of a tie game.  Then Wes Welker did what he does best...he fucked up in a big game.

Im not taking anything away from the Patriots comeback.  I mean, coming back from a 24 point half time deficit is friggin amazing.  But lets be serious, this game was as much about the comeback as it was about the Broncos sucking.

I cannot believe people are actually picking this team to win the Super Bowl.  Anyone who watched that game and thinks the Broncos will actually win even one playoff game this year is soft in the head.

The Patriots just proved to the football world that there is not a favorite in the AFC this year.  The field is wide open and the Patriots have as much a chance as anyone else.  And considering Belichick and Brady's balls, I actually like their chances alot.

This Actually Happened After The Game Last Night. I Shit You Not.

Wes Welker Screwed Up Big Time And Basically Gave The Patriots The Win In OT. Watch Him Call Off His Teammates Too Late On The Punt Like A Shithead.

Sure, the ball ended up touching Tony Carter, but he isnt the scapegoat here.  The bottom line is Wes Welker fucked up. He called off his teammates way too late (causing them to run towards the ball and inadvertently touch it) and his mistake gave the Patriots the ball at the 13 yard line with 3:02 left in overtime.  Boy, he must feel like shit today.

The game was basically a stalemate in overtime. Neither team was moving the ball and it just had the feel of a tie game.  Then came good ol' Wes Welker to do what he does best in big games...fuck it up.  Thanks, old pal.

Here is the play that led to an easy Gostkowski field goal.

You Have You Admit, Belichick Has Quite The Pair

Lets Take A Look At Those Poll Numbers Again

And you look like the biggest assholes of them all, Connecticut.

Remember These Guys?

Every one of these guys with the exception of Adam Schefter is a mindless asshole who has bought into the Peyton Manning media creation.  This is just sad.  It really is.

I saw the Broncos losing this game from a mile away and I am really disappointed that only one of these "experts" saw beyond the Manning hype and through the bullshit that they themselves have created. 

Eight times Peyton Manning has been a one-and-done quarterback in the playoffs.  Eight times.  I understand that this wasnt a playoff game, but it certainly had the feel of a playoff game.  And the dude ended up throwing for 150 yards and had a quarterback rating of 70.4.  How the hell did they not see this coming.

Your Tweet Of The Day


Donald Trump Thinks He Is Good Friends With Tom Brady. What A Friggin Tool.

Donald Trump just seems like the kind of guy who would see you and ask, "how's your mother doing?" even though he has never met you or your mother.  The guy is just such a tool.

Here Is The Julian Edelman Touchdown On Endless Loop...In Case You Want To Relive Your Sportsgasm

Tom Brady As Ron Burgundy Is Possibly The Greatest Tom Brady Photoshop Of All Time. Damn, I Wish I Thought Of This.

Julian Edelman posted this on on his Facebook page yesterday.  I have no idea who made this but whoever did is a friggin genius.

And Now For "The Big Fuckin Football Show: Patriots Broncos Edition"

This is the most honest pregame show you will see today (via TownieNews).

In Am So Friggin Sick And Tired Of Hearing About How Good The Broncos Are. Here Are My Keys To The Game

The Poll Results Are In And This Country Still Has An Unhealthy Hardon For Peyton Manning

via SportsNation

On a side note, I think it's time to start a petition to officially remove Connecticut from New England.  This shit is getting old.

This Is Just Embarrassing

via ESPN

I could understand if a majority of "experts" at ESPN picked the Broncos, but 12 out of 13 is a friggin joke.  Sure, the Broncos are 9-1 and technically have a better record than the Patriots, but if the officials actually did their jobs at the end of the Jets game and the Panthers game, the Patriots would be 9-1 right now instead of 7-3.  That is a fact.  And if my aunt had a dick she'd be my uncle.

I get it.  Their record is what it is.  But the Broncos arent exactly in a different class than the Patriots (for example, like the Patriots are to the Jets).  Which brings me to my point.  These guys arent analysts.  They are fanboys. They all have hardons for the media creation that is Peyton Manning and they are so stupid, they are believing the hype.

These picks really shouldnt be skewed that much toward the Broncos.  This game is going to feel like a playoff game and Manning has an incredible knack for shitting his pants in the playoffs. He's been to the playoffs 12 times in his career and has been bounced in the first round 8 times. 

There is no reason to think that this is going to be just another Broncos blowout.  We're talking about Gillette Stadium in November and a pissed off Patriots team that just got screwed for the second time this season.  But the experts dont take into account the intangibles.  They're too blinded by their hardon for Manning.

FINAL: Bruins 3 Hurricanes 2

David Krejci scored his first goal in eight games (and got his first point in six games) and the Bruins beat those bitches from Carolina yesterday in overtime. Anytime the Bruins beat this team, it feels so friggin good. Sure, the players are different and the front office is different but this team still has Whalers DNA and I used to hate that team.

Anyway, the Bruins have now won seven of their last nine games and (still) have the most points in the Eastern Conference.

VIDEO: A-Rod Feeds Mike Francesa A Bunch Of Bullshit In A Radio Interview And The Dude Literally Falls Asleep On Air

If you havent heard, Alex Rodriguez made a surprise appearance on Mike Francesa's radio show on WFAN yesterday to spew his propaganda.

Watch at the 1:30 mark when Im pretty sure you can hear Francesa snoring then at the 1:58 mark when he wakes up and looks like he doesnt even know where he is.  I dont blame him. Id fall asleep too if someone was feeding me this much bullshit.

Jonny Gomes Turns 33 Today

It Happened One Year Ago Today. Happy Anniversary NY Jets, You Friggin Losers!

The date was November 22, 2012.  The Patriots were on their way to 49-19 bitch slapping of the New York Jets when this happened.  Ladies and gentlemen, The Butt Fumble:

It was one year ago butt it feels like it was just yesterday.  Thank you, Mark Sanchez, for sucking so badly at quarterback.

Here it is in real time. If you listen closely, you can hear Cris Collinsworth chuckling.

I Lost Faith In Humanity A Long Time Ago, So This Doesnt Really Surprise Me...But It Does Piss Me Off.

via SportsNation

And you can go to hell, Connecticut.

The Trailer For The Red Sox World Series DVD Has Been Released And Ill Be Honest, I Got A Little Bit Of A Pants Tent Watching It.

The cover is pissa too:

FINAL: Blues 3 Bruins 2

Big shit. I dont expect them to win every single game.

Jake Peavy Took His Duck Boat For A Ride Today. I Am So Friggin Jealous.


Jake Peavy tweeted this picture today with the caption, "Duckboat gettin it's first introduction to the Falls!"  This guy is living the life.  I am so friggin jealous.

Gillette Is Auctioning Off Balls Of Shane Victorino And David Ortiz's Beard Hair From The 2013 Season on eBay. That's Just Friggin Gross.

via eBay

David Ortiz and Shane Victorino, the recently crowned world champions of baseball, had their beards trimmed and shaved by Gillette® (NYSE: PG) on Monday, November 4 to mark the end of a victorious 2013 season.

Every strand of the biggest beards of baseball was saved. The shavings and the Gillette Fusion ProGlide razors that shaved each champion beard have been assembled into one of the more unique pieces of memorabilia in sports history – beard ball trophies – and they are up for auction on eBay, with 100% of the proceeds going directly to Movember.

I understand its for charity, I get that.  But its still friggin gross.  It looks like a cross between something a cat coughed up and a ball of pubic hair.  There has to be a better way to present hair clippings.

I personally would not want to put something that looks like a chunk of pubic hair in my mancave and stare at it along side my replica championship rings, framed pictures, etc.  Thats just me.

Why The Hell Is NBC Trying To Make Tom Brady Look Like A Serial Killer?

Looks Like NBA TV Is Taking A Cue From Masshole Sports With Their "Keys To The Game"

This is a screenshot of Chris Webber's keys to the Heat Hawks game the other night on NBA TV. That was very massholey of him.

It kinda sorta reminds me of my keys to the Patriots Steelers game a few weeks ago:

This Is A Real Spirit Airlines Ad. I Shit You Not.

The Maple Leafs come to the Garden until January. I really hope the "your mayor smokes crack" jokes arent old by then. I want to see some creative signs that night.

VIDEO: Tom Brady Said "My Mom Thought It Was A Penalty" When Asked About The Non-Call At The End Of The Panthers Game. Talk About A Backhanded Bitch Slap.

Tom Brady was asked today if he had any finals thoughts on the non-call at the end of the Panthers game and said, "my mom thought it was a penalty.  Does that count?"  Im not sure if he meant that literally or if he was saying it to give the NFL officials a little backhanded bitch slap. I like to think it was the latter.

Brady knows he cant criticize the officiating, so Im pretty sure this was his creative way of telling us he thought it was a penalty without really saying it.  You gotta love Tom Brady's balls.

REPORT: A-Rod Walked Out Of His Arbitration Hearing Today, But Not Before Calling It “Ridiculous” And Calling MLB Investigator “Full Of Shit.” This Is Not A Joke.

From ESPN:
Alex Rodriguez stormed out of his own grievance hearing Wednesday after arbitrator Fredric Horowitz ruled that MLB commissioner Bud Selig did not have to testify before the embattled slugger's attorneys.

"This is ridiculous!" Rodriguez is said to have shouted after Horowitz issued his ruling shortly before noon.

Rodriguez then pointed a finger at Manfred, who directed MLB's investigation into the Biogenesis clinic suspected of being a source of illegal performance-enhancing drugs for ballplayers, and said "You know you're full of s---!"
[Edit: ESPN has edited their article.  They are now quoting A-Rod as saying, "This is f---ing bulls---!" and not "you know you're full of s---!" as they did earlier today.]

When all is said and done, history will remember Alex Rodriguez as a cheater and a wicked big asshole.  That's what I got out of his little hissy fit today.

This douche is nothing more than a pimple on the ass of society and has contributed nothing positive to the sport that gave him so much.  Its sad really.  I mean, he got caught cheating, red handed, and is going down kicking and screaming like a little bitch. It is so friggin pathetic.

VIDEO: The Camera Caught Rajon Rondo Making An "Oh Shit" Face When Reading The Celtics Stats From Last Nights Ass Kicking...And I Dont Blame Him One Bit.

VIDEO: Sports Science Analyzed The Non-Call At The End Of The Patriots Panthers Game And Concluded The Refs Were Indeed Full Of Shit When They Deemed It "Uncatchable."

The nerds at Sports Science have determined that if Luke Kuechly didnt use his momentum to slow Rob Gronkowski down, considering the speed at which Gronk was running plus the length of his reach, he indeed would have made the catch.

So scientifically speaking, the refs were full of shit when they said it was “uncatchable.” I really hope they replace officials with robots sooner than later. Its time. Its really time.

FINAL: Bruins 2 Rangers 1

The Bruins were outshot 44 to 22 in this game and at times looked very flat. Tuukka Rask absolutely, unequivocally saved their asses. The Rangers even had a penalty shot and couldnt score on Rask.

On the other end, Henrik Lundqvist stopped 20 of 22 shots. Seriously, is there a more overrated goalie in the NHL right now?  Lundqvist is now 6-9 on the season with a 2.38 GAA.

You read that correctly. The dude has nine friggin losses this season so far. I cant believe people were referring to him as "the best goalie on the planet" last season during the playoffs.  It made me cringe then and it will make me puke if I ever hear it again.

Shawn Thornton and Daniel Paille scored for the Bruins.  Shawn Thornton's now has two goals in his last three games and each of them has come against Venzina Trophy winners.  Like Ive always said, Shawn Thornton is a natural sniper.

The Bruins are now in first place in the Atlantic Division and have the most points in the Eastern Conference.  Fuck yea.

VIDEO: Daniel Paille Beat Henrik Lundqvist Five Hole On A Breakaway Last Night. Okay, Now Ive Seen It All.

Daniel Paille is a great penalty killer, he is fast and has soft hands. So Im not taking anything away from him with this following statement. But seriously, when Daniel Paille he beats you five hole on a breakaway, you know you are washed up. Henrik Lundqvist is friggin done in this league.

Tim Thomas Says A Big Reason He Returned To The NHL Is So He Can Play In The Olympics In 2014. That Seems Rather Douchey.

[Tim Thomas] said Monday that returning to the Olympics in Sochi, Russia this February was one of the main reasons he decided to end his one-year hiatus.

"Absolutely, absolutely,'' Thomas said emphatically when asked about his Olympics hopes. "Yeah, it's one of the major factors. I only got to play [part of one period] against Finland. But the whole experience was awesome. It doesn't matter if you're playing or not in the Olympics you want to be a part of it, and I'd love to be a part of it again.''

I will never understand the enigma that is Tim Thomas.  The guy has been very vocal about his hatred for the government yet he really, really wants to use their money to go overseas and play in the Olympics.

Its almost like he is doing it to spite the government.  You know, like the rich kid who hates his dad but gladly drives the sports car that he got at graduation.  Like Ive said before, I appreciate what Tim Thomas did for this city but the guy just seems like such a dick sometimes.

FINAL: Rockets 109 Celtics 85

The Houston Rockets have allowed the second most points per game in the NBA....and the Celtics couldnt even reach 90 points.  Damn. 

I honestly didnt think tanking was going to be this ugly.  The Celtics have now been blown out in back to back games and have lost four games in a row.

But hey, every loss gets them one ping pong ball closer to the #1 draft pick.  And it doesnt matter how ugly, just how many.

The Celtics were down 68-44 At Halftime...And This Happened

The Bruins Are Playing The Rangers Tonight. The Last Time These Teams Played, This Was The Masshole Sports Headline.

That series was friggin awesome.

Remember That Time During The Bruins Rangers Series When The Linesman Yelled "Fuck You" At John Tortorella And The Mic Picked It Up? That Was Friggin Awesome.

With the Bruins playing the Rangers tonight, I was feeling a little nostalgic and went looking for some footage of last years Eastern Conference Semifinals bitch slap and found this gem.

Even the refs couldnt stand this prick.

Roberto Luongo Might Suck At Goaltending But He Is Really Good At Busting His Own Balls

Roberto Luongo and the Canucks face off against Tim Thomas and the Panthers tonight. Yesterday, Roberto Luongo tweeted this:


FINAL: Panthers 24 Patriots 20

What the fuck was that?  I mean...what the fuck did I just witness?  Im not one to complain about officiating but I just cant comprehend why a penalty wasn’t called on the final play.

An official threw the penalty flag.  Then a few seconds later, they said there was no penalty on the play and the game was over.  My mind is friggin blown.

I dont even know what the fuck to say right now.  The Patriots just got screwed.  A game that was supposed to end on a Tom Brady last minute, game winning drive was decided on a bullshit non-call and the Patriots got screwed.  Im friggin stunned right now.

The officials know they just game that game to Cam Newton, aka the LeBron James of the NFL.  And you know they just dont give a shit.  This is a town that has seen 8 championships in the past 11 years.  They have no shame screwing us on a regular season game in November.  Fucking mancunts.

How can a sane person watch this play and say that Rob Gronkowski did not get interfered with?

Former NFL Official, Jim Daopoulas, Has Weighed In And He Thinks The Patriots Got Screwed.

Jim Daopoulos was an NFL official for 11 years and a supervisor of officials for 12 years. After the bullshit call that ended the game last night, he weighed in on twitter and confirmed what he all thought: the Patriots got screwed.