This Actually Happened. Wow.



The Red Sox actually found someone stupid enough to take Stephen Drew.  I am stunned right now.  And it was the Yankees to boot.  Damn.  This move alone just made Ben Cherington the clear front runner for MLB executive of the year. 

This basically means Xander Bogaerts will move back to shortstop and opens up third base for Will Middlebrooks.  And it means we dont have to watch that overpaid piece of shit nightly.  I could kiss Brian Cashman right now.


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I Watched The Ben Cherington Press Conference With The Closed Captioning On. Interesting Stuff.




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So, John Lackey Is Gone Too.

The Red Sox have traded John Lackey to the Cardinals for right handed pitcher Joe Kelly and outfielder/first baseman Allen Craig.

As of tight now, here is their projected starting rotation for next season:




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He's Gone. Jon Lester Is Gone.



So, Jon Lester and Jonny Gomes are going to the A's for Yoenis Cespedes.

You have to give Ben Cherington credit.  Sure, the negotiations went to shit but in the end the Red Sox got a 28 year old outfielder with power in Yoenis Cespedes and I can't bitch and moan about that.

The silver lining in all of this is the fact that the A's won't spent the money to re-sign Lester.  They just won't.  So, the Red Sox will have one more chance to re-sign him this offseason.  And I wouldnt put it past Larry Lucchino, et al, to at least give it the old college try.



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VIDEO: Here's Jon Lester's No-Hitter One More Time...For Old Times Sake.



Now Im getting all sentimental. Im going to miss this son of a bitch. I really am.


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VIDEO: Here Are Jon Lester Highlights From The 2013 World Series Run...For Old Times Sake.

He was just friggin filthy in the 2013 playoffs, he really was.









Oh Yea, Jonny Gomes Is Gone Too.



He didn't have the best numbers, but you must admit this dude was a huge part of that World Series team.

He'll always be a part of us.  And remember, we'll always be a part of him:







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Well, This Is Interesting.



This is a real poll on SportsNation right now. Good job, Larry.



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REPORT: The Pirates Wants Jon Lester, Koji Uehara, Andrew Miller, Jonny Gomes, Felix Doubront, Mike Carp And Will Middlebrooks. That's Rather Ballsy Of Them

This is the sports page from the Beaver County Times in Beaver, Pennsylvania:



From Beaver County Times:
The Pirates, as reported by The Times earlier this month, had been considering making a push for Lester for a while. The Pirates are willing to part with a club source called a “significant” package of prospects.

The potential exists for a blockbuster trade. The Pirates also have interest in a pair of Red Sox relievers — closer Koji Uehara and left-hander Andrew Miller — and right-handed hitting outfielder Jonny Gomes.

Starling Marte and Pedro Alvarez also could be included if the Red Sox include players who would be under club control beyond this season such as left-hander Felix Doubront, first baseman/outfielder Mike Carp or third baseman Will Middlebrooks.

I'm not sure if this is legit or it's some bored sportswriter throwing a bunch of shit at the wall. Either way, I would have no problem with the Red Sox going nuclear. None whatsoever. What they have obviously isnt working and Id rather watch the young guys fail than continue to watch this shit show.


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Well, This Is Interesting.

@Ken_Rosenthal

We can only hope they throw in Clay Buchholz and Stephen Drew too.  


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It Looks Like Tasty Burger Is Feeling The Wrath Of All This Jon Lester Bullshit.

These poor bastids just want suggestions for burgers. I guess they picked a bad day to ask a harmless question.









VIDEO: If You're Wondering Who This Dude Tyler Gaffney Is, Here Are A Couple Of His Highlight Reels.

The Patriots claimed running back Tyler Gaffney off waivers yesterday.

 If you don't know who he is, he was the Carolina Panthers sixth round pick in the 2014 draft and is pretty damn good.  He will miss this season with a knee injury and the Panthers were dumb enough to put him on waivers thinking no one would claim him.

Then Bill Belichick did what Bill Belickick does...and claimed him.  Anyway,  Here are some of his highlight reels:

"Tyler Gaffney Pro Day"




"Tyler Gaffney Highlights Top 5 Running Back 2014 NFL Draft" 




Bill Belichick is not a stupid man.


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FINAL: Blue Jays 14 Red Sox 1



Clay Buchholz sucks. Felix Doubront sucks. And John Farrell sucks for not letting Brock Holt pitch last night.


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Your Tweet Of The Day



It appears the Red Sox are going with the nuclear option and will blow the whole dam thing up. We'll, the pitching staff at least. I don't have a problem with that at all.


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Rays Pitcher Chris Archer Complained To The Media About David Ortiz After His HR And Epic Bat Flip Yesterday.



From ESPN:
Chris Archer was offended by Ortiz's exaggerated bat flip and leisurely stroll around the bases, which broke a scoreless tie in the third.

"I think it was a perfect example of what Price said. All of my interactions ... off the field have been good but when it comes to him on the field, I don't know what makes him think that he can showboat the way he does and then nobody retaliate, nobody look at him a funny way or nobody pitch him inside."
"I don't know why he feels like that but obviously he feels the way David [Price] said he does. He feels like he's bigger than the game."

There is a very simple solution to all of this. Either get David Ortiz out or drill him in the ass and handle it like men.

Bitching and moaning about it to the media after the game is classless and doesnt accomplish anything...other than making the Rays look like a bunch of whiny bitches.

Professional baseball has been around for over 100 years. History tells us that when a guy shows you up, you drill him and take care of business on the field.  Bitching to the media after the game about how David Ortiz hurt your feelings is basically like telling the world that you have no balls.

If this Chris Archer kid thinks he's doing baseball a favor by trying to smear Ortiz's name, he isn't. He's actually broadcasting to the world that he's a pussy who can't handle his business between the lines. And that is kinda of pathetic, actually.


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REPORT: The Red Sox Have Talked To The Dodgers About Trading Jon Lester For Rihanna's Ex-Boyfriend Matt Kemp.



From ESPN:
He has had debilitating ankle and shoulder injuries that have limited his play the last two seasons, is still owed roughly $118 million on a contract that runs through 2019, and has a mixed reputation as a clubhouse presence, but the Red Sox are considering making a move for Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp, according to a club source.

With the Sox in need of more offensive production in the outfield, the right-handed-hitting Kemp could be the major piece in a trade for Red Sox left-hander Jon Lester.

The dude has five years/$118 million remaining on his contract.  And a history of ankle and shoulder injuries.  And he's batting .273 with eight home runs and 40 RBIs.  Ben Cherington can't be this friggin stupid.


(editors note: if you don't know what a "giant DB" is, it's a "giant douchebag")

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My Day Sucked Until I Read These Tweets.

@MikeReiss


@MikeReiss


Seriously, this Patriots secondary is going to be scary good.  I cannot friggin wait for September 7th.



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Meanwhile, Over In Cardinals Territory...



The guy was basically mailing it in while with the Red Sox and goes 3 for 4 in his first game with his new team? This just makes AJ Pierzynski look like even more of a dick.






VIDEO: Rabid Fans Rushed The Gates At Day 2 Of Patriots Training Camp. I Am So Friggin Ready For Some Football.

Yup, Darrelle Revis and a healthy Rob Gronkowski will do that to people.




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VIDEO: Tom Brady Was On SportsCenter Today Just Shooting The Shit And Talking About Football. I Fuckin Love It.

It's football season, people. It is football season.





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Some Internet Troll Thought It Would Be Funny To Photoshop Milan Lucic In A Canadiens Jersey. Well Hardy Fucking Har Har.



Some dude at The Hockey News made this.  Don't ask me why.  Im going to guess they are just wicked bored over there.  And idle hands are the devils playground.



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FINAL: Blue Jays 8 Red Sox 0



If you had to work today and missed the matinee shit show, good for you. Shane Victorino had the Red Sox only hit in the seventh and in the ninth, David Ortiz left the game with back spasms.  And that, folks, is probably the most depressing game recap I've ever written.


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Wow, Has It Really Been That Long?



A lot of people consider this the turning point in the 2004 season (along with the Nomar trade).  It was THAT moment when you realized the Red Sox weren't going to be intimidated by the Yankees and their complete and utter arrogance anymore.  And it happened ten years ago today.  I cant believe its been that long.

And here's the video from July 24, 2004:






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This A-Rod “Respect” Parody Video Seems Very Appropriate On This 10th Anniversary Of His Epic Bitch Slapping

Funny Or Die nailed it. They absolutely nailed it.




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FINAL: Blue Jays 6 Red Sox 4

Im getting so friggin sick of writing depressing headlines.  So in lieu of a headline, here is Clay Buchholz taking a ball to the face last night.

Clay Buchholz beaned


Yea, it's been that kind of season for Clay. Oh yea, this happened in the first inning and he stayed in the game...and allowed five runs in six innings.


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After 8 Months Of Beating Around The Bush, Belichick Finally Talked About Rob Gronkowski...And The News Is Good.



From WEEI:
Bill Belichick said Wednesday that Rob Gronkowski has been in the facility in the days leading up to training camp, and has been “cleared to play.”

As a result, the tight end — who ended last year on injured reserve after a knee injury against the Browns — will apparently not start the year on the physically unable to perform list.

Bill Belichick hasn't said a word about Rob Gronkowski in months.  I honestly had no friggin idea where Gronk was at in terms of recovery and rehab.  And today, on the first day of Patriots training camp, Belichick dropped the bombshell that Gronk has been cleared to play and won't start the season on the PUP list.  That is so friggin  Belichick.


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Just To Give You An Idea As To How Elusive Bill Belichick Was About Gronk's Recovery, Here's How He Answered Questions About Him Back In March.

Watch Belichick get pissed off when asked about a time table on Rob Gronkowski's return back at the NFL owner's meetings:










Your Pants Tent Inducing Tweet Of The Day

via @AlbertBreer



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FINAL: Blue Jays 7 Red Sox 3



David Ortiz hit another home run. That’s cool I guess.


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Meanwhile, Over In Buffalo...


Buffalo Bills training camp started yesterday and former Patriot Brandon Spikes is already opening his big mouth.

When asked about his first day of camp with the Bills, he told BuffaloNews.com, "the fans were great.  I’m not used to that, so it was good to see the fans come out and show us love.”

Remember, this is the same guy that went on a Twitter rant back in April, calling his four years with the Patriots, "4 years a slave" then went on to call Patriots fans massholes (as if that is an insult).






I don't know why this guy has a stick up his ass for the Patriots and Patriots fans, but the act is already getting old.  Good riddance to the miserable prick. I hope he enjoys everything that comes along with living in Buffalo--shitty weather and an even shittier team.


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The Celtics Revealed A New Alternative Logo Today...If You Give A Shit.



From Celtics.com:
The goal in creating the logo was to extend the Celtics brand with a symbol reflecting the rich tradition of the organization throughout its history, yet versatile enough to work across various formats and products. 

The new mark was inspired by the team’s past logos and pays homage to the Leprechaun logo from the 1960’s illustrated by Celtics’ Legacy Red Auerbach’s brother Zang.

The logo reproduces well at one or two-color and can be displayed with or without a border on the outer ring. To make the logo even more versatile, Lucky’s finer details were slightly modified, allowing for better visibility when produced at a smaller scale. The logo can also be displayed without the curved Future Bold typeface, resulting in a simplistic yet bold Celtics mark.

Yea, it's a slow sports day.






FINAL: Red Sox 6 Royals 0


The Red Sox completed a sweep of the Royals today with a 6-0 bitch slapping and Jon Lester was friggin nasty.  He went eight innings, allowed no runs, four hits, only walked two and struck out eight.

I cannot believe the Red Sox had the balls to offer him four years at $70 million.  When this guy is a Yankee next season, Im going to be ripshit.

Anyway, Daniel Nava started in left field and went 2 for 3 with 3 RBIs and Jackie Bradley Jr went 2 for 3 with a walk.  And all of a sudden, they have won seven of their last 8 games.  It may get interesting real fast, folks.  Stay tuned.


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Apparently, The New York Daily News Thinks Peyton Manning Is In The Russian Army.

This is today's cover of the New York Daily News



Druken goons?  Seriously, they should have used Johnny Manziel, not Peyton Manning.


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I Want To See This Kid's Bat At Fenway Park So Friggin Bad.



Seriously, when is Ben Cherington going to trade for this guy?







Benches Cleared In Pawtucket Last Night And Will Middlebrooks Was Right In The Middle Of It.




From ProvidenceJournal.com:
When Esmil Rogers hit Will Middlebrooks with a pitch in 2012, the then-95-mph fastball broke the third baseman’s wrist and subsequently ended his rookie season.

After seeing Middlebrooks face Rogers on Friday, as the PawSox took on the Buffalo Bisons, it’s safe to assume the two haven’t forgotten.

The starting pitcher plunked Middlebrooks in the arm in the fifth inning, after the previous pitch was thrown high and tight. The third baseman immediately voiced his displeasure, slamming his bat to the dirt near home plate.

In the sixth, Alex Hassan hit a solo homer off Rogers to tie the game. The next pitch Rogers threw was high and tight to Deven Marrero. When Rogers struck out Corey Brown, he said something to the DH and that was the tipping point. Brown started to walk toward the pitcher, and the benches cleared.

I dont blame Middlebrooks for being pissed off.  Esmil Rogers basically derailed what was Middlebrooks' breakout season in 2012 and he had the balls to pitch inside to him again?  The dude deserved a good smack.  Too bad baseball players don't actually fight.


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FINAL: Red Sox 5 Royals 4



First of all, I don’t know what the hell happened to Clay Buchholz. He was great for the first three  innings, retiring seven straight batters at one point, then just fell off the planet and ended up ten hits and four runs over six innings.

Anyway, so with the Red Sox down 4-1 in the sixth, Xander Bogaerts and Jonny Gomes hit back to back home runs and the Red Sox ended up beating those bitches from KC.

In that sixth inning, John Farrell had the balls to pinch hit for Jackie Bradley Jr and ended up looking like a genius. Jonny Gomes hit a pinch hit, 2-run, go ahead home run.  He now has six pinch hit home runs as a member of the Red Sox.  One less than Ted Williams.  Damn.

So, the Red Sox are now 1-0 since the All-Star break. Pissa.


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Your Tweet Of The Day



Seriously, I haven't had a legitimate reason to get pissed off in four days.  It feels weird.


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So, I Guess A David Ortiz Documentary Was On Last Night And I Missed It. That Sucks.

Im not sure if EPIX is just ESPN spelled wrong or if that is a real channel. Anyway, this David Ortiz documentary called "In The Moment" aired last night and I missed it.  That's too bad.  It looks pretty awesome.  Here's the trailer:






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VIDEO: Old Friend Tyler Seguin Posted A Video On Instagram Of A Dude Hitting A Golf Ball Off His Crotch At A Charity Golf Tournament Because...Of Course He Did.

Tyler Seguin famously quit twitter about a year ago but he never left Instagram and yesterday he posted a video of a guy hitting a golf ball off of a tee that was attached to his jock.  And apparently, it tickled.



By the way, he if officially back on Twitter: @TSeguinOfficial.  Welcome back buddy.


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MASSHOLE SPORTS EXCLUSIVE: More Text Messages Between Bill Belichick And Aaron Hernandez Have Been Leaked!

Here is a series of text messages between Bill Belichick and Aaron Hernandez apparently on or around March 14th, 2013.





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WEEI's Kirk Minihane Called Erin Andrews A "Gutless Bitch" And Said She Should "Drop Dead." Well, That Seemed A Little Unnecessary...And Kinda Douchey.

It doesn't stop there. Gerry Callahan agreed that she is a bitch and then went on to call her a "bimbo."  Dont get me wrong, I can bust balls with the best of them.  But this isnt ball busting. This is a verbal bitch slap for no good reason.

Did I miss something?  I mean, I think Erin Andrew is terrible at what she does--she always seems really uncomfortable and uninformed and never goes off script--but was that Adam Wainwright interview really that bad?

Hell, he did most of the talking.  If anything, I give her credit for giving the guy a chance to explain himself.  Seems like just a couple of assholes looking for a reason to pounce.  Here's the video:



And a quick memo to WEEI: after you fire this psycho Minihane, shoot me an email. My mornings are free.


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VIDEO: Someone Had The Balls To Chant "Overrated" Before Derek Jeter's First At Bat At The All Star Game.

I know Im not supposed to bash Derek Jeter right now because he is on his stupid farewell tour but I must admit, I admire this guys balls.  You can hear him chanting, "overrated, overrated" as clear as day on national tv.  Damn, that takes big brass ones.






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Adam Wainwright Admitted That He Intentionally Threw Derek Jeter A Couple Of Fast Balls Right Down The Middle Of The Plate. What A Friggin Joke.

@JeffPassan

@JeffPassan


Sure, the All-Star Game is just an exhibition and doesn't really mean anything in the grand scheme of things, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't play with integrity.  Giving Derek Jeter a couple of sympathy pitches was a bullshit move.

I mean, I get that he is on his "hey, everyone wash my balls" tour but come on.  This is crossing the line.  If the guy is going to hit a double and get a standing ovation, he should at least have to earn it like everyone else.

So, in the end, Derek Jeter's final All-Star Game was just one choreographed ball washing.  What a shame.


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VIDEO: Adam Wainwright Tells Erin Andrews That The All Star Game Does Mean Something And He's Sorry For Throwing Jeter A Meatball In An Incredibly Awkward Interview.

FOX showed Adam Wainwright a replay of his 87 mph "fastball" right down the middle of the plate to Derek Jeter and stuck a microphone (and Erin Andrews) in his face and this awkwardness ensued:



What burns my as is that Wainwright apologized for "taking away" from Derek Jeter's moment.  What a joke.  Jeter's moment was the standing ovation before the at bat.  Once he steps into the batters box, you play the friggin game.  That's the way baseball goes.  Oh that's right.  That wasn't a baseball game.  That was the Derek Jeter Invitational.


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MASSHOLE SPORTS EXCLUSIVE: Leaked Text Messages Between Aaron Hernandez And Bill Belichick From February 3, 2013

Prosecutors in the Aaron Hernandez murder case have turned over 33 pages of text messages between Bill Belichick and Aaron Hernandez from February 2013 to May 2013 to Hernandez's lawyers. Here is one of the text messages, sent on February 3, 2013:




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Will Middlebrooks And Jenny Dell Are Engaged...If You Give A Shit.

Jenny Dell posted this on Twitter last night:



Followed by this on Instagram:


 Congratulations to Boston's newest (and massholiest) power couple.


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Nike Has Created An Incredibly Over-The-Top "Respect Derek Jeter" Ad. I Mean, This Is THE Definition Of Ball Washing.

I get it. The guy is a class act. But this is probably the most hardcore ball washing video Ive ever seen in my life. That is not an exaggeration.

First of all, Michael Jordan is the greatest, most decorated, most iconic athlete of our generation and shouldn't be tipping his hat to anyone in a stupid commercial.  Secondly, including non New Yorkers like Dr. Dre, Tigers Woods, Jon Lester and random Red Sox fans is just way too much.  Especially for a guy who was never even the best player on his team at any given time.






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PHOTO: Tom Brady Was At The World Cup Final Sporting A Very French Looking Mustache/Beard Thingy.




Whatever that thing is, it has to go.


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Your Stat Of The Day.



Remember, Peter Gammons once famously said that suggesting Brock Holt was an All Star was an "insult to the game."  Sure, he isn't an All Star but you must admit, Peter Gammons looks like an asshole right now.


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FINAL: Red Sox 11 Astros 0



Not only did the Red Sox offense absolutely unload on the sad sack Astros, Clay Buchholz pitched a complete game shutout, struck out 12 and allowed only three hits.  Damn.

And Brock Holt was friggin on fire in this series.  Not only did he go 5 for 6 today with two runs scored and an RBI, the dude went 10 for 15 in the series

The Red Sox have now won four of their last five games and the offense seems to be getting hot.  It kind of sucks that it's now the All-Star break.


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Here's The Video Of Gisele Bündchen Presenting The World Cup...If You Give A Shit.








Well, I Guess Paul Pierce Isn't Coming Back To The Celtics.



I think this means he signed with the Washington Wizards.  Either that or he just signed up to take a tour of the White House.


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FINAL: Astros 3 Red Sox 2



Let's see.  Brock Holt went 3 for 5, Jackie Bradley Jr and Mookie Betts each went 2 for 4.  It's nice to see the young guys produce, I guess.  Jake Peavy was pretty good too, going seven innings and allowing only three runs (while scouts were reportedly in attendance).  And David Ortiz hit his 20th home run.

Other than that, the game sucked.


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PHOTO: Some Dude Was Seen Wearing A Burned LeBron James Cavaliers Jersey Last Night. I Shit You Not.

via TerezOwens

Are people in Cleveland that friggin poor? Just buy a new one, dude.


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FINAL: Red Sox 8 Astros 3



So, the Red Sox did what they were supposed to do and beat the pathetic Houston Astros.  John Lackey got his tenth win of the season and in his second major league game, Christian Vazques went 3 for 4 with 3 RBI.

Seriously, if they Red Sox can get any production out of that catcher position, they are going to be a very different team going forward.  Hell, they are now 3-0 since kickcing AJ Pierzynski's sorry ass to the curb.


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