VIDEO: Mike & Mike Dressed As Belichick & Brady Today And Had Belichick On As A Guest...And Promptly Got Called "Morons."

Well, that was awkward.



(click here to watch it on ESPN.com)



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FINAL: Bruins 3 Sabres 2 (OT)


If the Bruins had lost this game, I was totally prepared to go apeshit. And if my aunt had a dick she’d be my uncle. Anyway, they won.  They beat the worst team in the NHL.



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VIDEO: In Honor Of Tom Menino's Passing, Here Are His Greatest Sports Menino-isms One More Time..For Old Time's Sake.

Tom Menino passed away this morning at the age of 71.  He was the longest serving mayor in the history of this city and he was a true masshole. There will never be another Tom Menino.  As he would say, "neva eva eva."  In honor of his passing this morning here are his most famous Menino-isms one more time.


There was that one time he referred to Vince Wilfork as, "Wilcock" while wearing his jersey.




There was that time he called KG and Rondo, "KJ and Hondo."





One time he referred to Gronkowski and Welker, "Grubowski and "Wes Weklah."






After the Bruins won the Stanley Cup, he called them "great ballplayers" on and off the ice.






There was that time said he wanted to see the "World Series Cup" come back to Boston.






And here is the classic video of him reminding us of the "ionic" moments in Boston sports history including Varitek splitting the uprights (at the 1:00 mark):




RIP Mr. Maya.



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FINAL: Celtics 121 Nets 105



I did not see that coming.  I get that it was the sad sack Nets, but the Celtics actually looked pretty good.  By the end of the third quarter, they had scored 101 points and had a 29 point for Christ's sake. Sucky teams don't do that.

Rajon Rondo didn't even play one exhibition game and had 13 points, 12 assists and seven rebounds. Damn.  That Marcus Smart kid had 10 points and four steals.  A total of eight Celtics scored in double digits.  You heard it here first: the Celtics are not going to suck this season.


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Tom Brady Is A Funny Bastid

This is how Tom Brady wished the Celtics good luck.




He friggin owns Facebook right now.



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FINAL: Wild 4 Bruins 3



The first line of Milan Lucic - David Krejci - Seth Griffith has six points on the night.  But it doesn't matter.  The Bruins couldn't hold their shit together in the third period, gave up three goals and ended up losing.

This team is starting to piss me off.


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Sure, The Bruins Shat The Bed But Hey, At Least We Got To See Seth Griffith Do A Pretty Awesome Bobby Orr Impression.

This was pretty cool, I guess.



Looks kinda familiar.




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The Bruins Went To Children's Hospital Dressed As The Characters From Frozen. Poor Dougie Hamilton And Matt Fraser.

The Bruins do this every year and every year it is hilarious. They basically reverse trick or treat at the Children's Hospital right around Halloween and dress up for the kids. Well, this year they went as the characters from Frozen.


If you can't tell, that is Matt Fraser, Dougie Hamilton, Kevan Miller, Matt Bartkowski, Torey Krug and Seth Griffith.



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10 Years Ago Tonight, The Red Sox Won Their First World Series In 86 Years. That Was A Fucking Awesome Night.

Here's the Masshole Sports headline from that fateful night:



Im just kidding. Masshole Sports didn't exist back then. But if it did, that would have been the headline.  Anway, here is Game 4 of the 2004 World Series in it's entirety...for old times sake.





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FINAL: Patriots 51 Bears 23



All those people who said Tom Brady was done look like real assholes right now. 



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And Here Is Lamarr Houston Making Himself Look Like An Asshole.

The Bears were down 48-23 and Lamarr Houston celebrated like a douchebag after sacking Jimmy Garoppolo...then this happened:



The reason he fell is because he tore his ACL.  He will reportedly miss the rest of the season.  Yea, it's called Karma, bitch.



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I Think Tom Brady Just Told His Critics To STFU After That 51-23 Ass Whipping.

via Facebook.com/TomBrady


I don't know sign language, but I'm pretty sure they are flashing a 5 and a 1.  A double middle finger would have been nice too, but this will do.  It get's the point across.














Here Are The Patriots Bears Keys To The Game


My official prediction: Patriots 45  Bears 10



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VIDEO: A Little Masshole Is Devastated By Zdeno Chara's Injury And Cries Well, Like A Little Girl.

This little girl is crying the tears of a thousand massholes. I feel your pain, my fellow masshole.






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Yet Another Fucktard Dressed As Ray Rice For Halloween, Proving People Still Suck.




Some people are just fucked up and don't get it.  That's just the way it is and it's not going to stop.  It just isn't. 



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I Don't Mean To Piss On Your Day But...



So, now the Bruins need a top line winger and a defenseman.  Hmm...they should make a run at that guy on the Islanders.  I think his name is Boychuk or something.  That guy would be a perfect fit here.  Fuckin Chiarelli!!!



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VIDEO: David Ortiz Walked In On Jake Peavy's Press Conference And Peavy Almost Shat A Brick. That Was Awesome.

This is why David Ortiz is pissa.



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PHOTO: Brandon Lafell Wore A "Fuck Statistics" Shirt To His High School's Football Game Last Weekend. I Like His Style.

via TMZ


From TMZ:
Patriots wide receiver Brandon LaFell cops to having a wardrobe malfunction -- wearing a shirt that says "F**k Statistics" around a bunch of high school kids this weekend ... and wants to apologize for what he calls an innocent mistake.

A rep for the wide receiver tells TMZ Sports ... Brandon wasn't trying to shock the kids -- he was just at home and "when he realized his high school was playing he shot out of the house" and forgot he was wearing the shirt.
We reached out to the school to see if anyone complained, but so far ... no word back.

Yea, no one complained because that shirt is friggin awesome.  And it is so Patriots.



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It Appears The Stupid Bastid Running The Sharks Twitter Account Has Never Met A Real Masshole.

The San Jose Sharks actually tweeted this today:

@SanJoseSharks

I think they are trying to do a Boston accent...and I think they failed wicked bad.



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VIDEO: Townie News Found Tom Brady's Original (And Wicked Honest) Congratulatory Message To Peyton Manning

Nailed it.





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Some Asshole Went To A Halloween Party Dressed As Ray Rice. People Suck. They Really Do.



From HuffingtonPost.com:
Most Halloween costumes are funny or clever. This is not an example of one of them. A Reddit user who asked to remain anonymous posted the following image on Sunday night, explaining that his "friend came to the party as Ray Rice."

I lost faith in humanity a long time ago--I don't know when but Ive just known for a long time that we as a society are fucked--so I'm honestly not even surprised that someone was douchey enough to do this.



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VIDEO: This Is Tuukka Rask Playing Drums For Some Band In Buffalo This Weekend. Um...Okay.



From Buffalo:
Boston Bruins goalie Tuukka Rask may have had a rough week between the pipes, but he tried to find his rhythm in an unconventional way Friday night at Nietzsche's.

On the eve of the Bruins' eventual 4-0 stomping of the Sabres -- in which Rask sat in favor of backup Niklas Svedberg -- the 2013-14 Vezina Trophy winner and a few other teammates dropped by the Allentown live-music venue to check out a show, said The Good Neighborhood founder Seamus Gallivan.

Rask quietly asked local band the Mustn'ts if he could step in as the drummer for the band's song, a cover of Phish's "Back on the Train," and Gallivan shot a short video of the Bruins net-minder laying down the beat.

He isn't terrible, but I'll say this:  Tuukka Rask is no Neil Peart.  Don't quit your day job, Tuukka.



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So, Peyton Manning Passed Brett Favre For The Most Touchdowns In NFL History.




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What A Long Friggin Day.

@MassholeSports



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FINAL: Bruins 4 Sabres 0



The Sabres had 32 shots and seven power plays and didn't score one goal.  Wow, do they suck.  The Bruins needed a game like this badly.  They just needed to beat the shit out of someone and get some confidence after that loss to the Canadiens.  Thank you, Buffalo. 



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Milan Lucic Apologized To Canadiens Fans For Obscene Gesture And Called Them “Great Fans.” Give Me A Friggin Break.

If you live under a rock and don't know, Milan Lucic made a "jerking off" gesture to Canadiens fans the other night.



Well, today he apologized.  From Bruins.com:
“I don’t want to get into details of everything, but just obviously not proud of what I did there, and just want to apologize to our organization for embarrassing the Bruins organization. I also want to apologize to our fans and also apologize to the Montreal Canadiens organization and to the Canadiens fans. I know they can get under your skin sometimes, but they are great fans, so just like I said, apologies for my actions, and I regret what I did.”
 
I have no friggin idea why he apologized.  These people are savage animals with no respect for the game.  They were absolute pricks during that playoff series last season.

Case in point #1:  that time they threw towels and cans of beer at Milan Lucic as he left the ice.



Case in point #2: that time someone slapped the glass and flipped him the bird for no good reason.



Then there was the time that guy violated our Bobby Orr statue (after Game 7):



I dont mean to sound childish, but they started it.  Every one of these incidents happened before Lucic virtually stroked his dick at them. It just proves that these cunts are not "great fans."

I really wish instead of apologizing Milan Lucic talked about the incidents I just mentioned and said, "fuck em."



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Your Tweet Of The Day

@MassholeSports



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Yahoo Is Such A Fucking Tease.

This was the homepage of Yahoo this morning:



Yea, Rex Ryan has not been fired. The link is to a bunch of articles on why he should be fired. This is clickbait at it's finest. Bunch of assholes.



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The Date Was October 17th, 2004...



I still don't understand why the Red Sox haven't built a statue of this.

If you're a little masshole and are too young to remember what happened on that fateful night, here's the video, as it happened:






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FINAL: Patriots 27 Jets 25



I don't give a shit that the Patriots "hung on" to win that game. A win is a win.

And in the three games since that ass kicking by the Chiefs, Tom Brady has thrown for 914 yards, 9 touchdowns, 0 interceptions and the Patriots are 3-0. And that is all that fucking matters.



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FINAL: Canadiens 6 Bruins 4



Fuck it.  You can't win every game.







VIDEO: The Jets Official Thursday Night Football Promo Has A Typo. That Is So Friggin Jets Of Them.

The Jets posted a video on their Facebook page that I guess is supposed to fire up their fans.   Then comes this ending:



That organization is a friggin joke on literally every level.  Here's the video from the Jets official Facebook page:







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The Patriots Are Playing The Sad Sack Jets On Thursday Night Football Tonight. Here Are The Keys To The Game.



I'm going conservative with my prediction because it's supposed to pour like a bastard tonight.  My official prediction for this game:  Patriots 35  Jets 0. 



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Vince Wilfork Posted A Picture Of The Infamous Butt Fumble On Instragram With The Caption "Nothing Buttttt A Wilfork Thing." Big Vince In The Balls.

via Instagram.com/TeamWilfork


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FINAL: Bruins 3 Red Wings 2



The Bruins finally played like they gave a shit.  They outshot the Red Wings 39-20 (and 14-4 in the first period) and outplayed them for 60 minutes plus.  That's pissa.  It sucks they couldn't bury them in regulation, but whatever.   A win is a win is a win.








Your Bruins Fan Sign Of The Night




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Meanwhile, Over In Columbus...



This burns me ass. It really does.


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This Is Probably The Most Awesome Jack-O'-Lantern I've Ever Seen In My Life. Ever.

You must admit, Jack-o-lantern's are pretty cool in and of themselves.  When you make one of Tom Brady's face, it brings things to a whole nother level.  This is from the he Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular at the Roger Williams Zoo in Providence, Rhode Island:




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FINAL: Avalanche 2 Bruins 1



Well shit, four games into the season and the Bruins are 1-3.  I did not see this coming.



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VIDEO: Rob Gronkowski Says The Patriots Offensive Line Did A Great Job And "Should Get Laid Tonight." I Shit You Not.

This is Rob Gronkowski being interviewed by Tony Siragusa of Fox Sports after the Bills game.  And this is Rob Gronkowski saying that the Patriots offensive line did such a good job that they "should get laid tonight."  Gronk is the balls.





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FINAL: Patriots 37 Bills 22



There was no way friggin Tom Brady was going to let the Bills win this game.  None.  If the Bills had won, they would be in first place in the AFC East and this game would be talked about across the country. Yea, and if my aunt had a dick she’d be my uncle.

Anyway, so Brady kept those bitches from Buffalo in their place and threw for a season high 361 yards and a season high four touchdowns. So much for a bum ankle, huh?

This is the kind of game I’ve been waiting for. Ive been waiting for Brady to spread the ball around and ease off the teet that is Julien Edelman. And today, he threw to ten different receivers. That is pissa.

Brandon LaFell had 97 yards and two touchdowns, Rob Gronkowski had 94 yards and Julian Edelman had 91 yards. Damn.

Now for the bad news: Stevan Ridley, Dan Connolly and Jerod Mayo all left the game with injuries and the Patriots have to play Thursday night. Thank Christ it's against the Jets.


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Well, You Knew This Was Coming

From the Buffalo Bills Wikipedia Page:




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A Car Dealership In Buffalo Put Up A "Brady's Farewell Tour" Billboard. Well, Hardy Fucking Har Har.

Northtown Auto is the official car dealership of the Bills and Sabres. And today, they tweeted a picture of one of their billboards:

via @NorthTownAuto

Come on.  Calling Tom Brady old or saying that he is on the back end of his career is so friggin cliche.



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And The Buffalo News Ran A Story Today About The Patriots Dynasty Fading. This Bullshit Is Getting So Old.



I think it's safe to say the sportswriters over there in Buffalo suck at talking trash.  I'm as die hard as they come and even I know the Patriots dynasty ended a long time ago.  This article is so friggin irrelevant. 









Patriots Bills Keys To The Game



My official prediction: Patriots 38  Bills 6



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FINAL: Capitals 4 Bruins 0



I suffered through the 2014 Red Sox shit show. I have no patience for this bullshit right now.  David Krejci needs to get his ass back out there and Peter Chiarelli needs to pick up the friggin phone and ask the Islanders for Johnny Boychuk back.  Now.  This has the potential to get real fucking ugly real motherfucking quick.


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I Just Want To Remind Everyone That Former Patriot, And Current Buffalo Bill, Brandon Spikes Is A Dick And Doesn't Like Massholes.

Remember that time Brandon Spikes guaranteed that the Bills would beat the Patriots two times this season? 


Cmon, only douchebags guarantee wins.  But wait.  There's more.  His douchebaggery didn't stop there.  He also compared his four years in New England to being a slave:




Then, he referred to Patriots fans as massholes...as if that's a bad thing. He is so friggin clueless.






Whichever Patriot gets awarded the game ball this Sunday should take it, walk over to the Bills locker room and shove it up Brandon Spikes' ass.



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FINAL: Red Wings 2 Bruins 1



It was the second game of the season and the Bruins were playing like they just didn't give a shit.  They didn't even get their first shot of the game until the 12:01 mark of the first period and finished the game with 17 shots total.  That matched their season low from last season.

I don't get it.  It's the second game of the season for Christ's sake.  How the hell can they be mailing it in already?  Eh, fuck it.



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Sure, The Bruins Lost But At Least We Got To See Dougie Hamilton Knock A Dude On His Ass.



That was pretty cool, I guess.



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