VIDEO: Robert Kraft Took The Stand At The Aaron Hernandez Trial Today And Looked Nervous As Fuck.

I have never seen this man so uneasy and awkward in my life. In fairness, he is 73 years old and they're asking him to remember petty shit from almost two years ago like whether he shook Aaron Hernandez's hand or hugged him.

And he probably has no idea what the point of the questioning is.  I mean, why the hell does the jury need to know whether Aaron Hernandez shook his bosses hand or hugged him?

Here is the full video of his testimony:

View/Post A Comment (35)

The Ottawa Sun Is Calling The Bruins "Cocky" For Putting Playoff Tickets On Sale. Give Me A Friggin Break.

No, this is not from The Onion. This is an actual headline on

Jesus H Christ, talk about looking for a reason.  I mean, it's not uncommon for a team to sell playoff tickets before they technically clinch.  It doesn't make you an asshole.

View/Post A Comment (17)

The Senators Need To Just Stop With The Ra Ra Bullshit.

This is an actual tweet from the Senators official twitter account:


Friggin amateurs.

Holy Shit, Mike Napoli Broke His Bat And Still Hit A Friggin Home Run. The Dude Is In Full Beast Mode Already.

I am so ready for baseball.

View/Post A Comment (30)

Aaron Hernandez Texted His Fiance "I Fucked Up" And Told Odin Llyod About His "Other Spot" Two Days Before Llyod Was Killed. I Shit You Not.

The following text was shown as evidence at the Aaron Hernandez trial today.  Hernandez sent it to his fiancee on June 15th, 2013 (two days before Odin Lloyd was murdered).

via @BfragaHN

And here's a closeup:

I'm not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure that kinda sorta establishes a motive..and kinda sorta means Aaron Hernandez is screwed.

View/Post A Comment (33)

FINAL: Ducks 3 Bruins 2 (OT)

I hate writing headlines like this but...this friggin team, man.

View/Post A Comment (21)

Boston Charms Cereal Isn't Real But If It Was, I Would Have A Moral Obligation As A Masshole To Endorse It.

View/Post A Comment (32)

Adam Schefter Says Bill Belichick Used Profanity At The Owners Meetings And Got Laughed At. What A Friggin Tattletale.

Bill Belichick wants at least four cameras in the end zones. The NFL says that would be too expensive.  Well, at the owners meetings yesterday, Belichick reportedly ripped the head of officials, Dean Blandino, used "profane language" and got laughed at.

And here's world class tattletale Adam Schefter telling the story to Keith Olbermann like a middle school kid who just heard some gossip on the playground.  Note how the king of douchebags, Olbermann, mocks Belichick and chuckles while Schefter tells the story.  Real professional.

View/Post A Comment (64)

VIDEO: The Entourage Movie Trailer Includes Gronk Dancing With Hot Chicks Because Of Course It Does

When I first heard that Rob Gronkowski, Tom Brady and Julian Edelman were going to be in the Entourage movie, my first thought was, "hmm...Gronk's scene will probably be of him dancing with hot chicks at a party or something." And sure enough...

View/Post A Comment (12)

REPORT: The Jets Filed Tampering Charges Against Patriots Because Robert Kraft Talked About Darrelle Revis Yesterday. I Shit You Not.

From ProFootballTalk:
On Monday, Patriots owner Robert Kraft spoke about the departure of Revis for the Jets. “I speak as a fan of the New England Patriots,” Kraft said Monday via Tom Curran of CSN New England. “We wanted to keep him, we wanted him in our system."
The next day, the Jets filed tampering charges against the Patriots.  Per a league source, the Jets have submitted to the league office a letter tracking the language cited by the Patriots when making their tampering charge in January.
What this fucking moron doesn’t realize is that making a comment about negotiations after a dude leaves isn’t tampering.  Saying, "I'd love Darrelle to come back," which is exactly what Woody Johnson said while Revis was still under contract with the Patriots, is.

What a dumb fuck.  Let's be honest, this prick is only doing this because the Patriots filed legitimate tampering charges against him and he wants to bust balls. What a friggin disgrace to the NFL.  That entire organization is a disgrace.

View/Post A Comment (89)

BOMBSHELL: Bill Belichick Doesn't Know What The Video Game Madden Is.



The greatest coach in the history of the NFL has never heard of arguable the most popular video game in the history of video games.  Mind=blown.

VIDEO: Bill Belichick On Losing Darrelle Revis: "People Leave Teams In Free Agency Every Year. It's Not A Big Story." There's No Friggin Way He Really Believes That.

Bill Belichick made his first public comments about Darrelle Revis leaving the Patriots and said the following:

Wow, that took balls. I mean, real balls. On a side note, Belichick has an unbelievable poker face. He should play professionally.

View/Post A Comment (40)

This Just Pisses Me Off.

The Senators won last night and the Bruins have lost five straight. Well, fuck me.

View/Post A Comment (12)

Max Pacioretty And McDonalds Made A Bunch Of Bruins Fans Look Like Assholes. It Might Be Time For A Boycott.

Well, hardy fucking har har.

View/Post A Comment (48)

New Balance Made A Limited Edition Boston Shoe With "Fastah" On The Sole. That's Very Massholey Of Them

From Boston Magazine:
Every year, New Balance showcases its love for its hometown in the form of a sneaker that launches right around the Boston Marathon. This year’s sneaker, the Fresh Foam Zante Boston, is more “Boston” than them all.

The sneakers are a “cool blue” hue and feature the Boston skyline on the shoe’s insole. The word “Fastah” is emblazoned on the sole.

No word on if they plan on making a "pissah" sneaker...but stay tuned.

View/Post A Comment (16)

FINAL: Lightning 5 Bruins 3

I hate writing headlines like this but what the Christ am I supposed to say right now?  The Bruins are shitting this season away.  Plain and simple.

I don't know how to describe what we are witnessing other than to call it a complete and utter shit show.  How the hell does a team fighting for their playoff life go winless in five games?  What the fuck, man!

View/Post A Comment (43)

VIDEO: Brad Marchand "Fought" Steven Stamkos. Yes, I Used Quotation Marks.

I watched this and all I could do was lol.

Brad Marchand vs Steven Stamkos Mar 22, 2015

View/Post A Comment (22)

The Bruins Lost To The Panthers Last Night But At Least We Got To See Probably The Fan Sign Of The Year

Hmm...that looks familiar (cerka Masshole Sports 2012)

VIDEO: Non-Massholes Trying To Pronounce Massachusetts Town Names Is Friggin Hilarious.

The best part is the dude who says, "let’s ignore R’s and fuck it, let’s ignore C’s and E’s too."

View/Post A Comment (68)

FINAL: Senators 6 Bruins 4

This friggin team is killing me.

View/Post A Comment

This Zdeno Chara Faceplant Is Basically The Bruins Season In A Nutshell.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2014-2015 Boston Bruins:

Bruins 2014 President's Trophy Hats Are Selling For $2.00 Because Of Course They Are.

Wow. 2014 seems like forever ago.

Now That He's A Free Agent, Brandon Spikes Stopped Being A Dick About His Time With The Patriots. What A Friggin Hypocrite.

Brandon Spikes is a free agent.  And he did an interview on the NFL Network and was asked about the Patriots. And he absolutely washed Bill Belichick's balls.  He said:
“It’s the Hoodie. It’s Bill Belichick. He’s a genius. He just plugs guys in and his system works. My time there, I just learned how to be a true professional. It’s a first-class organization. They drafted me and a lot of teams passed on me. They gave me the opportunity and I’ll always be forever grateful for that.” 
It's amazing how much this asshole's tune has changed now that he's a free agent desperate for work.  Remember, this rant?

So, he talked shit, called his time in New England "4 years a slave" and blocked massholes...and this piece of shit thinks he has a chance to come back to the Patriots?  Yea, okay.  Keep dreaming, douchebag.

View/Post A Comment (63)

VIDEO: Jennifer Garner Says The Patriots Winning Super Bowl XLIX Was The Greatest Moment Of Ben Affleck's Life. He's Such A Masshole.

Listen to Ben Affleck's wife, Jennifer Garner, talk about his reaction to the Patriots winning the Super Bowl and how, "I birthed babies for him and I still have never seen the pure joy." What a good masshole.

View/Post A Comment (52)

FINAL: Sabres 2 Bruins 1 (SO)

This team is so goddamn frustrating.

View/Post A Comment (12)

In Honor Of St. Patrick's Day, Here's The Real Housewives Of South Boston St. Paddy's Day Edition.

This one has been around for a while, but deserves to be watched every St. Patrick's forever.  Happy St Patrick's Day me fellow Massholes!

View/Post A Comment (60)

Free Agent Wide Receiver Stevie Johnson Will Visit The Patriots Today. Yes, He's The Douchebag Who Once Tweeted That Foxboro Should Get Bombed.

This is an actual tweet by Stevie Johnson from back when he was with the Bills:


It's one thing to talk shit on Twitter, but that isn't talking shit.  That's being an asshole.

And today, this douche will reportedly meet with the Patriots.  I really hope Bill Belichick is just bringing him in so he can wave the Vince Lombardi trophy in his face then shove it up his ass.

View/Post A Comment (57)

Here's The One Highlight From The Bruins 2-0 Loss To The Capitals Last Night...Ovechkin Getting Hit In The Balls With A Torey Krug Slap Shot.

Then the walk of shame:

View/Post A Comment (14)

How About A Nice Golf Clap. As Of 7pm Sunday Night, We Broke Our Own Record For Total Snowfall In One Winter.

I typically only write about sports, but some things transcend sports. Like the fact that we just lived through the worst friggin winter ever. Literally.

According to the National Weather service, Boston broke it's all-time seasonal snowfall total last night at approximately 7:00pm.  So, Mother Nature kicked us in the balls (repeatedly) this winter and we survived....and that is why Massholes are some of the toughest bastids out there.

View/Post A Comment (35)

This Sounds About Right

via Toucher & Rich

Seriously, we deserve a friggin parade to celebrate this accomplishment.

View/Post A Comment (21)

Well, Mayor Walsh Just Shat On My Idea Of A Parade To Celebrate Surving This Record Breaking Winter.

VIDEO: Julian Edelman Is A Funny Bastid. He Was On The Rich Eisen Show And Did A Spot-On Impressions Of Tom Brady And Bill Belichick.

Watch out, Frank Caliendo.

View/Post A Comment (10)

First The Patriots Lose Darrelle Revis Now Gronk And Edelman Are In A Twitter Fight. This Organization Is Going To Shit.



I'm joking about the Patriots, as an organization, going to shit.  Just like Gronk is joking with Edelman...I hope.

View/Post A Comment (71)

FINAL: Bruins 3 Lightning 2 (SO)

Patrice Bergeron and Brad Marchand scored in the shootout and for the first time in seven tries, the Bruins actually won in a shootout.  They haven't won in a shootout since November 21st.  Holy shit. And they beat a team that is tied for the most points in the Eastern Conference.

I don't give a shit that Steven Stamkos got a 10 minute misconduct in overtime for throwing his stick in the crowd and wasn't eligible for the shootout.  Sure, if he was in that shootout the Bruins may have lost....and if my aunt had a dick, she'd be my uncle.

Anyway, after mailing it in for most of the season, the Bruins seem to be removing their heads from their collective asses.  Pissa.

View/Post A Comment (13)

VIDEO: Some Dude Got Stabbed At The Garden Last Night. It Started With Two Hard-Asses In Rondo Jersey’s Mouthing Off To Each Other...Because Of Course It Did.

From CBS Boston:
Boston Police are investigating a stabbing that occurred at the TD Garden Wednesday night. The stabbing happened in the balcony area of the Garden at about 9:45 p.m. just before the Celtics-Grizzlies game ended.

Police say the victim is a man and suffered non-life threatening injuries. He was taken to Mass. General Hospital. No arrests have been made.

Brawling in the stands is one thing--some might say it's a right of passage around here.  Pulling out a knife and stabbing someone is just fucked up.  If anyone knows the dude in the white Rondo jersey with the knife, call the BPD.  Friggin animal.

View/Post A Comment (58)

Well, He's Gone.

Darrelle Revis's agent just tweeted: "Pending legal, @Revis24 has agreed to terms with the New York Jet."

So, I guess he doesnt care about winning.  I guess he doesn't care about legacy.  He won his one Super Bowl now the greedy prick perfectly content cashing his paycheck and sucking for the next few years.

To him, money is more important than winning a Super Bowl.  Money is more important than potentially being part of a dynasty.  Money is more important than playing on a team with the greatest quarterback of all time and the greatest head coach in the history of the NFL.

I don't care how much more money the Jets offered, you have to be a greedy son of a bitch to walk away from the intangibles the Patriots were offering.  A real greedy son of a bitch.

View/Post A Comment (295)

This Sounds About Right.

Thanks for the Super Bowl, Darrelle, but this has to be said:

I just cannot comprehend passing up the chance to be a part of the Patriots Dynasty Version 2.0 to go play for the friggin Jets.  I just cannot wrap my fucking mind around it.

View/Post A Comment (224)

The NY Daily News Can Screw

It's like they're oblivious to the fact that the Jets still suck.

View/Post A Comment (146)

Your Tweet Of The Day


I guess we'll get our answer after 4pm today.

View/Post A Comment (44)

VIDEO: Yes, This Is Gronk And His Wingmen Shaking Their Asses On The Dance Cam At The Clippers Game Last Night.

View/Post A Comment (11)

Some Masshole Used A Bill Belichick "Let's Party" Picture As Their Wedding Save The Date Invitation. I Shit You Not.

via @Patriots

Well, that was very massholey of them.  Seriously, I wish I had the balls to do that for my save the date.

View/Post A Comment (43)

Video Of A Trashed Tyler Seguin Playing Beer Pong Has Hit The Internet. Peter Chiarelli Must Be So Proud Of Himself Right Now.

So this is what Peter Chiarelli was afraid of?  This is why he traded Tyler Seguin?  Seriously, so friggin what?  I would rather have a 30 goal scorer that gets trashed nightly and posts stupid videos on the internet on this team than Loui Eriksson, Reilly Smith, and Matt Fraser any day of the week.

View/Post A Comment (25)

REPORT: Devin McCourty Was Ready To Sign With Another Team...Then Last Night Bill Belichick Threw A Shit Load Of Money At Him.

From ESPN:
As the negotiating process was winding down Sunday, McCourty and head coach Bill Belichick had a phone conversation in which McCourty thanked him for a great five years with the franchise.

It was at that point that Belichick and the Patriots stepped up to levels they hadn't reached in the process. Their final offer of five years and $47.5 million, with $28.5 million in total guarantees (a record number of guarantees for a safety), swayed McCourty's decision at the last moment.

He was coming back to the Patriots.

Wow. Bill Belichick is not fucking around.

View/Post A Comment (44)

The Patriots Told Vince Wilfork They Won't Pick Up His Option, Making Him A Free Agent. Damn, That Sucks.

Vince Wilfork announced on Twitter that he is no longer a Patriot.  My first thought was, "that sucks."  My second thought was, "if he signs with the Bills I'm going to be ripshit."

Anyway, there is still a chance that he just re-signs with the Patriots for less money.  But after reading his message on Twitter, I kinda doubt that.

Here is his full statement (this is his graphic, not mine):

View/Post A Comment (163)

Someone Created A Peyton Manning / Tom Brady Face Mashup And It's Scary As Fuck.

The internet can be a scary, scary place.

Actually, the Johnny Manziel / Rob Gronkowski is pretty friggin gross too:

So, This Happened...

Boston Bruins General Manager Peter Chiarelli announced today, March 4, that forward Brett Connolly will miss six weeks due to a displaced fracture in his right index finger. The injury occurred during the Bruins practice on Wednesday, March 4.

I can't help but just sit back and lol.

View/Post A Comment (28)

Devin McCourty Tells NY Media That Playing For The Giants Or Jets "Would Be Cool." I Shit You Not.

From The New York Post:
Listen up, Giants and Jets. A hometown kid who could boost the playoff-starved teams’ secondary is heading into free agency with a sentimental eye.

Patriots safety Devin McCourty — who hails from Nyack, NY, and played his college ball at Rutgers — told NJ Advance Media he would be open to signing with a New York team.

“I would be lying if I said that it wouldn’t be cool being back home,” McCourty said.

Seeing Devin McCourty playing for any team other than the Patriots would suck. Seeing him play for the Giants or Jets would fucking suck.

I don’t know why he is sucking up to the New York media. I get that he is from New York, but he could have played it neutral and given them some cliche answer. He didn’t have to go out of his way to kiss their ass and take a big old shit on our hopes.

View/Post A Comment (70)

HOLY SHIT! STOP THE PRESSES! It's Going To Be In The 40s Today!

This sounds about right...

View/Post A Comment (19)

Another Trade Deadline Has Come And Gone And Another Friggin Bust For Peter Chiarelli.

What the hell was the point of putting David Krejci on long term injured reserve (and freeing up $5.25M in cap space) if you aren't going to do shit with it? Jesus H Christ, this is frustrating.

The Bruins have basically been treading water all season. You'd figure Peter Chiarelli would make a splash at the deadline and give them some sort of spark. But nope. The guy did what he always does. Just sat on his ass.

His only trades were for a 22 year old dude who has 12 goals this season and "a lot of upside" and a guy who is a fourth liner at best.  Well, big shit.

Now Cam Neely has all the ammo he needs to fire Chiarelli. The Tyler Seguin trade alone was enough grounds to fire his ass as far as Im concerned. When you add to that the Johnny Boychuk trade and now this dud of a deadline, there is absolutely no need to keep this incompetent piece of shit around.

View/Post A Comment (55)

As If You Needed Any Further Proof Chiarelli Has Failed Us.

This is how NESN sees the Bruins lines going forward.

Yup. Today, the Bruins got a friggin fourth liner and a guy who won't even play most night.  Peter Chiarelli sucks.

View/Post A Comment (22)

Marshawn Lynch Said If He Ran That Ball He'd Be "The Face Of The Nation, Super Bowl MVP." Yea, And If My Aunt Had A Dick She'd Be My Uncle.

From (a sports network on Turkey):
"You let me run that ball in, I’m the face of the nation. You know, the MVP of the Super Bowl, that’s pretty much the face of the nation at that point in time.

I don’t know what went into that call. I mean, maybe it was a good thing that I didn’t get the ball. It cost us the Super Bowl. I mean, I have full confidence in my teammates to execute that plan because we’ve done it so many more times. But would I have loved to had the ball? Yes, I would have."

Wow, throwing his head coach under the bus and bragging about how he was almost a Super Bowl hero.  What a role model, huh?  I'm glad Tom Brady, and not this douche, is the "face of the nation."

View/Post A Comment (147)

VIDEO: Gronk Spiked A Birthday Cake On His Brothers Head At Vegas Club. Is There Anything This Dude Won't Spike?

Believe me, I'm not bashing him.  I mean, it's all harmless fun.  It's not like he killed a dude and dumped his body in an industrial park or something.

As long as the dude stays in shape, performs on the field and doesn't end up in jail I couldn't give two shits what he does on the weekends during the offseason.

View/Post A Comment (22)

Your Tweet Of The Day