VIDEO: Ray Lewis Has A Message For The People Of Baltimore: "Violence Is Not The Answer." How Can You Listen To This And Not Cringe?

I appreciate the effort, but the irony is just off the friggin charts.  Baltimore needs a real leader to speak up right now and I'm just not sure this is the guy.





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STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES!!! TOM BRADY WAS REPORTEDLY AT GILLETTE STADIUM DURING PATRIOTS WHITE HOUSE VISIT!



From From Mike Reiss of ESPN:
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady didn’t attend Thursday’s ceremony at the White House because of a prior family commitment. For what it’s worth, I’m told Brady was present at the stadium for a stretch of time Thursday while many in the organization were at the White House.

For what it's worth, no one gives a shit, ESPN.  What a friggin pathetic attempt to keep this "story" alive.  The bottom line is, Tom Brady didn't show up and he can do that kind of stuff because he is Tom Fucking Brady.

There is no need to try and tear him down.  There is no need to turn this into a Tim Thomas type of bullshit story just for the sake of getting ratings.

He had a prior family commitment.  That's it.  ESPN needs to leave Tom Brady the fuck alone.


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Bill Belichick Got Caught Checking Out Chrissy Teigen's Ass Last Night And Her Husband, John Legend, Just HAD To Make A SpyGate Joke.

Last night, at the White House Correspondents Dinner, Bill Belichick was caught adding Chrissy Teigen to his spank bank.



Then this happened.



Well, hardy fucking har har.


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AUDIO: Stephen A. Smith Says Tom Brady Skipped The White House Trip Because The President Is Black. This Guy Has Some Balls.



if audio won't play, click here to listen

Leave it to Stephen A. Smith to conveniently ignore the facts and make shit up just for the sake of making shit up.  The dude went on a 10 minute rant about Tom Brady skipping the Patriots' White House visit and had the balls to imply that Tom Brady is racist.

Listen to this ignorant asshole ask the question, "why do I feel like if George W. Bush or Bill Clinton or somebody was president, why do I feel like Tom Brady would have been there then? Is it just me? Is it just me? I haven't heard anybody but me mention it either. I haven't heard anybody but yours truly mention this."

Yea, nobody has mentioned it because it doesn't make any fucking sense.  Jesus H Christ, I cannot believe the bullshit that is spewed on sports talk radio these days.  And I can't believe people actually listen to this dude.


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VIDEO: Some Masshole Gave Kevin Love The Double Middle Finger Last Night During His Post Game Interview.

I'm not a professional lip reader but I'm pretty sure he is saying, "fuck you."  Yea, I think people are just a little frustrated with this impending sweep.




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So, The Patriots Announced Their 2015 Schedule Last Night.


The Patriots will only be playing four teams that made the playoffs last season and their "strength of schedule" is ranked 22nd in the NFL.  Holy shit, that is scary.

Honestly, I don't see them losing to any of these teams.  None.  I hope I don't sound like a cocky bastid, but barring any Kansas City type of game where the Patriots forget to show up, I honestly do not see this team losing in 2015.


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FINAL: Cavs 99 Celtics 91


LeBron James scored 30 points in this game and in the fourth quarter, LeBron (15 pts) and Kyrie Irving (9 pts) scored every single one of the Cavaliers points.  Yea, the Celtics are in over their heads.  Seriously, this series is nothing more than "playoff experience" for this team anyway.  Fuck it.


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Some Rapper Named "Machine Gun Kelly" Broke Gronk's Record For Hardest Punch On ESPN SportsNation. I Shit You Not.

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=espn:12736780


First of all Gronk would kick this dude's ass on a street fight.  Secondly, he's scrawny as shit, so I'm calling bullshit. I'd love to know when that machine was last calibrated.


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VIDEO: Don Cherry Says Peter Chiarelli Got Fired For Trading Johnny Boychuk. Finally, Someone In The Media Has The Balls To Say It.

This is from this weekend's Coaches Corner. Listen to Don Cherry (at the 2:00 mark) praise Johnny Boychuk and come out and say that the reason Peter Chiarelli got fired was the Boychuk trade.



I like Cherry's balls. Most people in the media look at Chiarelli's resume--a Stanley Cup win, another Stanley Cup Final appearance and a President's Trophy--and claim to be baffled by the firing.

When in reality, the dude should have been fired for the Seguin trade...or for giving Chris Kelly a no trade clause...or for signing Riley Smith to a contract extension...or for not re-signing Shawn Thornton...but I digress.


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This Was Easily The Massholiest Boston Marathon Fan Sign Of Them All (Not Photoshopped)



Seriously, fuck the T.


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FINAL: Red Sox 7 Orioles 1


Five of the runs were unearned and the game was called due to rain after 6 1/2 innings but fuck it, a win is a win.  The Red Sox are now 8-5 on the season and (I know it's early) in first place in the AL East.


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While You Were Out Getting Shitfaced Last Night, The Red Sox Won On Their First Walkoff Of The Season.


The Red Sox only got four hits on the night and still won this game. That is friggin awesome.  And Xander Bogaerts had two of them.  If you're keeping track, he is now batting .395 on the season.  The dude is for real.


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VIDEO: 8 Years Ago Today, Some Dude Got Hit With A Slice Of Pizza At Fenway Park...And Don And Jerry Lost Their Shit On The Air.

Let's take a stroll down memory lane for a second.  The date was April 16th, 2007. The Red Sox were playing the Angels on a beautiful April day...then this happened:




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On This Date Back In 2000 The Patriots Drafted Some Guy Named Tom Brady With The 199th Overall Pick.

15 years ago today, the greatest quarterback of all time entered the NFL.  Here is his official draft card and his combine photo:


I hope this isn't an understatement, but what a great fuckin move by the Patriots.


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VIDEO: Aaron Hernandez Shook His Head And Said "You're Wrong" To Jurors After The Verdict Was Announced Today. What Balls.

I'm not a professional lip reader, but I'm pretty sure this is Aaron Hernandez saying, "you're wrong" to the jury today in the courtroom. I honestly expected a little more emotion from someone who was just told he will be spending his life in prison. But I guess when you're a psychopath....





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FINAL: Celtics 95 Raptors 93



I know the Cavaliers are the clear favorites. I get that.

But what if....what if this Celtics team can push this series to a Game 7. And what if LeBitch James and that dysfunctional Cavs locker room implode and shit the bed in Game 7.

I mean, I'm not ballsy enough to pick the Celtics in this series, but shit it would be awesome if this Celtics team is the team that knocks LeBitch and his massive ego out of the playoffs in the first round.

Oh my God, I think I just had a mini sportsgasm thinking about it.


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VIDEO: Tom Brady Says He Found That 5 Shirt In His Closet. So It Wasn't A Reference To A 5th Super Bowl? I'm Calling Bullshit.



Come on. Tom Brady wore the 5 shirt because he wanted to scare the shit out of the rest of the NFL.

If he wins his fifth, then everyone--every Patriots hater, every Peyton Manning ballwasher, every Joe Montana ballwasher, everyone--will have to call him the greatest of all time.  And yesterday, he let the World know that he isn't done.  He has plans to make everyone STFU.

Screw the, "I was just looking in my closet" BS.



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I'm Not Going To Lie. Seeing This Picture Yesterday Gave Me A Sportsgasm.

And I'm not even going to ruin this picture with a wiseass caption. I'll just leave this here.



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FINAL: Red Sox 9 Nationals 4


In the end, Mookie Betts went 2 for 4 with a home run, four RBI and two stolen bases.  Yea, he made the Nationals his bitch.  Xander Bogaerts had himself a pretty good day too, going 2 for 3 with an RBI.  The dude is now batting .433 on the season.  Fuckin A.

And lost in all the offense was the fact that Rick Porcello actually had a good game too....better than the "ace" Clay Buchholz last night.  But I digress.


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The Penguins Won And The Bruins Lost In A Shootout. It's Over, Folks.


Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck it.


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FINAL: Red Sox 8 Yankees 4


Damn, I did not see that coming from Joe Kelly.

People have been bitching and moaning about the fact that he started the season on the DL and that he's fragile and that he has never pitched more than 200 innings in a season.  Well, the dude had a friggin awesome debut.  He didn't show any signs of bicep soreness and he basically gave the naysayers a pretty good fuck you. 

Anyway, so the Red Sox basically beat the Yankees twice today and have taken the first two games of this series with Clay Buchholz schedule to pitch the finale tomorrow night.  Pissa. 


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Stevan Ridley Got A Jets Tattoo...After Signing A One Year Deal With Them. I Shit You Not.





What a friggin moron.


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FINAL: Red Sox 6 Yankees 5



That game lasted 6 hours, 49 minutes and 19 innings. And I'm not even going to lie...I fell asleep in the 10th.

Anyway, in the end, Xander Bogaerts scored on a Mookie Betts sacrifice fly and the Red Sox won the longest game (timewise) in the history of the franchise history.

Here are some interesting numbers from the game: Pablo Sandoval went 4 for 9, Hanley Ramirez went 3 for 9 and Xander Bogaerts went 4 for 8 (4 for 4 if you only count his at bats after midnight).  That is friggin crazy.

First pitch today is at 1:05pm. There are going to be a lot of cranky bastids on that field today.


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Further Proof Yankees Fans Are Wicked Big Assholes: This Guy Taking A Picture Of Pedro Martinez.



How did Pedro not turn to this guy and tell him to back the fuck off.  Jesus.


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The Red Sox Are In New York To Play The Yankees This Weekend. Here Are Tonight's Starting Lineups.



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FINAL: Red Sox 6 Phillies 2


So in the end, the Red Sox took 2 out of 3 from the Phillies and scored a total of 16 runs. Pissa way to start the season.


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FINAL: Panthers 4 Bruins 2


I'm convinced the Bruins don't want to make the playoffs.  I mean, all things considered, how the hell does this team come out and shit the bed against a team that has already been eliminated from the playoffs and has absolutely nothing to play for?  What the fuck?


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This Is The Homepage Of The Bruins Website. Don't They Look Like A Bunch Of Assholes Right Now.

screenshot via BostonBruins,com














Your Tweet Of The Day

@MassholeSports

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FINAL: Phillies 4 Red Sox 2



Aaand there goes my wet dream of an 162-0 season.


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Hanley Ramirez Was THIS Close To Hitting His Second Grand Slam Of The Season.

Let me paint the picture. The bases were loaded, it was the 7th inning, the Red Sox were down 4-2 and it was Hanley Ramirez vs Jonathan Papelbon. And this happened:



If he had hit it just a little bit farther, we'd be talking about a 6-4 Red Sox win...and if my aunt had a dick she'd be my uncle.





VIDEO: Gronk Losing A Game Of Flip Cup And Karate Kicking A Huge Red Solo Cup Is So Friggin Gronk.

Rob Gronkowski was on SportsNation and lost at a game of flip cup...then proceeded to spike and karate kick a red solo cup. Yea, that sounds about right.



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Gronk's Special Message To Tom Brady: "Don't You Ever Jump Off Another Friggin Cliff Again." I Like The Way He Talks.

Kudos to Gronk for calling out Tom Brady. Hell, somebody had to say it.




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FINAL: Red Sox 8 Phillies 0


Okay, that was friggin awesome.  I knew this lineup was stacked but damn, even I didn't see this coming.

This offense friggin exploded on Cole Hamels.  Dustin Pedroia and Hanley Ramirez each hit two home runs (including a grand slam for Ramirez) and Mookie Betts had one.  And Clay Buchholz actually looked like an ace.  Seriously, he went 7 innings, didnt allow a run, gave up 3 hits and struck out 9.

I don't care that it was against the pathetic Phillies.  That is friggin nasty stuff right there.

So Cole Hamels sucked, Mookie Betts hit a home run and Jon Lester last night only lasted 4.1 innings for the Cubs and gave up 8 runs and 3 hits.  Somewhere, Ben Cherington is sitting back with his feet up and thinking, "yup."


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VIDEO: David Ortiz And Hanley Ramirez Were Like Ballroom Dancing In The Dugout Today. Too Friggin Funny.

Well, here's something you don't see everyday.



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VIDEO: A-Rod Got Cheered In His Return To The Yankees Because...Well, Because I Guess They Like Douchbaggery In NY.

This guy is a liar, a cheater and his entire career has been fraudulent.  And Yankees fans just don't give a shit.  They are so friggin obnoxious.






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Further Proof Yankees Fans Are Okay With Douchbaggery

This is real, not photoshopped:

via @BustedCoverage

I'm starting to think that if Aaron Hernandez were a Yankees players, Yankees fans would be like, "just leave him alone." Seriously, they are rooting for the laundry right now despite the fact they have every reason in the world to fucking hate this guy.



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Your Tweet Of The Day

@MassholeSports







I Have To Be Completely Honest, I Did Not See This Coming...



Damn, I've been shitting on the Bruins a lot this season. Don't I feel like an asshole right now.



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Happy Easter, Massholes!

In honor of Easter, here's a video of Tom Brady teaching the Easter bunny how to do a touchdown celebration....and getting pissed off.


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FINAL: Bruins 2 Maple Leafs 1 (SO)



Before this 5 game winning streak, the Bruins went 0-3-3.  They are so friggin hard to figure out.  But hell, I'd rather see them get hot going into the playoffs than win the President's Trophy and drag their asses into the playoffs.


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FINAL: Bruins 3 Red Wings 2


Seriously, after two periods I thought this game was over.  Then when the Bruins went down 2-0 in the third, I figured they were going to continue to half ass it and I would be bitching today.

Then the Bruins scored three unanswered goals.  Well, fuck me.


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According To The Odds Makers, The Red Sox Are The Favorite To Represent The AL In The World Series.


From NESN:
After finishing the 2014 season in the American League East basement, the Boston Red Sox open the 2015 campaign leading all AL teams at 10-1 on the odds to win the World Series at sportsbooks monitored by OddsShark.com

In addition to sporting strong World Series odds, the Red Sox also are pegged as strong 2-1 favorites to return to the top of the AL East standings.

Damn.  Listening to sports talk radio, you would think the 2015 Red Sox are on par with the Tampon Bay Rays of the 90's.  They get shat on daily and no one thinks they have a chance at even sniffing the playoffs.

Then something like this comes out. Just further proof sports talk radio is a cesspool of hate mongers looking to get ratings by shitting on the home team.  But I digress.

Anyway, I'm not saying that I'd put good money on the Red Sox winning the whole damn thing, but shit, the AL must be weak this year.


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VIDEO: Kelly Olynyk Broke The News That Dougie Hamilton Has Broken Ribs. Yes, Kelly Olynyk Of The Celtics.

Listen at the 1:40 mark when Kelly Olynyk says that he was texting Dougie Hamilton and Dougie revealed that his undisclosed injury is broken ribs.  Somewhere, Claude Julien is pissed and Joe Haggerty is jealous as fuck.





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