This Tom Brady "Batman vs Superman Mashup" Has Me All Fucking Fired Up For This Season.

Seriously, it's going to be Tom Brady vs the friggin world this season.




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The Red Sox Just Finished Their Most Pathetic Road Trip Since 1951. They Didn't Even Win One Fucking Game.


I mean, it's not easy to lose every game on a road trip.  The Red Sox haven't done it in 64 years.  So you must admit, that is impressive...in a sucky way.

They ended up going 0-7 on this road trip and are now 12 games out in the AL East.  But hey, at least Mike Napoli is hitting again.  He went 3 for 4 with a home run.  And David Ortiz hit his 483rd career home run.  He's one closer to 500.  So, there's that.

I'm not even going to bitch and moan about John Farrell still having a job.  The fact that he hasn't been fired after going 0-7 on a road trip means we're stuck with him.  We're stuck with a manager who is okay with losing and honestly thinks there is nothing wrong with this team....despite being 12 games out of first place and losing every fucking game on a seven game road trip.

This organization has basically become the New York Mets.  And that makes me sad as fuck.


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Christ Almighty, Is The Red Sox Front Office Really This Delusional?


From ESPN:
"This isn't do-or-die for us," Amaro told ESPN.com. "In the end, it's about, 'What is the return?' and, 'Is this the right return?' If it is, we'll move forward. And if it's not we won't." 

The Phillies continue to talk to about a half-dozen teams about Hamels. But other clubs believe that, if he gets dealt this month, it will be to one of four destinations -- the Chicago Cubs, the Los Angeles Dodgers the Boston Red Sox or the Texas Rangers.
The Red Sox sent one of GM Ben Cherington's most trusted assistants, Allard Baird, to see Hamels' start on Sunday. And the minute Hamels left the game, Baird left the ballpark. So could they have painted a more vivid portrait of what they're shopping for than that?.

HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA

HAHA HAHA   HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA  HAHA HAHA

The Red Sox have literally the worst record in the American League.  What a fucking joke.  They don't need this guy this year.  Next year is most likely going to be more of the same (as long as Hanley Ramirez, Pablo Sandoval and an aging David Ortiz are on this team, they're not going to rebuild) so there is no point in acquiring him now with an eye towards the future.

But I guess I wouldn't put this past what has become the worst front office in Major League Baseball.  I mean, they have a history of making really dumb moves.


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NEWSFLASH: There Will Be No "Turnaround" Folks. This Season Is O-V-A, Over.


I don't want to be too negative, so I'll just say this:  the Red Sox were outscored 18-4 yesterday, they've lost every game they've played since the All-Star break and have been outscored by a total of 22-4 in said games.  They're nine games back in the AL East and they suck.  They flat out suck.

Hanley Ramirez and Pablo Sandoval were wastes of money, Mike Napoli is a waste of space and John Farrell (who didn't start the Red Sox only All-Star, Brock Holt, in either game of the double header yesterday) is a waste of a human being.

That is all.


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VIDEO: ESPN Is Using A DeflateGate Joke In One Of Their Commercials. That Network Is Friggin Pathetic.

I just cannot comprehend how a network that employs a known murderer (Ray Lewis) and constantly trolls Tom Brady can be taken seriously.  This is an actual ESPN Fantasy Football commercial.



For the record, I am officially calling for a boycott of ESPN Fantasy Football...as if anyone actually uses it.


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Seriously, Fuck ESPN.

via @ESPN

If this is what they think of when they think of Tom Brady, then that network is being run by a bunch of fucking assholes.


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VIDEO: Gronk Says Brady's 4 Game Suspension Should Be Wiped Out, Calls Roger Goodell "Annoying." I Like His Balls.


I cannot disagree with anything he just said.


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VIDEO: "A Gronking To Remember" Trailer Is Out Starring Rob Gronkowski And Charlotte McKinney...If You Give A Shit.

So, this happened.





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David Ortiz Thinks Ted Williams' Record Home Run And The Red Seat Honoring It At Fenway Park Are "Bull." Wow.



On this, the night of the MLB Home Run Derby, David Ortiz was asked about Ted Williams' record 502 foot home run, which is commemorated at Fenway Park with a red seat (here's the Wikipedia entry on it, if you don't know).

From BostonGlobe.com:
“The red seat?” Ortiz inquired. “Cough — bull — cough.”  The expulsion occurred twice, before Ortiz roared with laughter in the Sox dugout.

“I don’t think anyone has ever hit one there,” said Ortiz. “I went up there and sat there one time. That’s far, brother.  The closest one that I have ever seen — I remember a day game, I hit a ball in that tunnel. But still — I crushed one and it wasn’t even close to that.”

What the hell has gotten into Papi these days? First he bitches and moans to the media about not wanting to play first base. Then he (allegedly) faked a cold to get out of playing on Sunday. Now he is questioning the legacy of Ted Williams?

It's like Ortiz is trying to piss us massholes off and I have no friggin idea why.

Sure, he is David Ortiz--he has had some of the most clutch hits in the history of the Red Sox, won three World Series' and is basically a living legend--but I have to call him out on this one. I mean, that was a dick thing to say, plain and simple.  I don't care that he laughed afterwards.  It doesn't forgive the douchbaggery of that statement.

I get it that losing sucks and it makes people a little cranky, but Christ Almighty he needs to tone it down.  I am one more incident from friggin unloading on him and I really, really don't want to have to do that.


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Your Tweet Of The Day

So, this happened last night.



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I'm Pretty Sure The Guy Running The MassDOT Highway Signs Is A Masshole.

via fellow masshole Justin Jones

I'm sure the non Red Sox fans out there are going to bitch and moan about this being a waste of taxpayers money and a distraction to drivers, bla, bla, bla.  But come on, you must admit this is pretty cool.


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This Video Of Idiots From Out-Of-State Trying To Guess Masshole Slang Pisses Me Off.



I can understand not knowing what "dunks" is but how the hell do these morons not know what a barrel is?  Out of state people just piss me off.


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So, Brock Holt Is An All-Star.

Brock Holt has played 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, LF, CF and RF this season. He is the first player ever to go to an All-Star game after doing that. Oh yea, and in case you were wondering, he is making shit for money:



The dude makes in a year what Rick Porcello makes in two weeks and plays with ten times more heart.  That is just friggin embarrassing.

Let's hope this is a wake up call to half of these stiffs.  Sure, they've been playing great lately, but Porcello still sucks and it pisses me off that the dude just basically walks up to the pitchers mound to collect a paycheck.  It is fucking sickening.

And here you have a guy that will do anything for this team and do anything to help this team win.  What sucks is that most of these guys are so friggin rich, they don't even have a conscience anymore.  They won't even care that a dude making a fraction of what they make is an All-Star and they aren't.  And that's a damn shame.


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Gronk And Papi Did Another Song For Dunkin Donuts Song And This Time They're Auto-Tuned. Thank Christ.




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Well, It Appears Julian Edelman's Super Bowl Ring Had A Rather Interesting 4th Of July.

Someone named Jessica Graf bragged on Instagram about spending the 4th of July with Julian Edelman then proceeded to post these pics:

via Instagram/theJessicaGraf
I don't know if this picture is wicked hot or wicked offensive.  Either way, you must admit that posting it on social media for the world to see is is pretty friggin trashy.  If Robert Kraft was pissed when Rob Gronkowski took a picture with a porn star wearing a Patriots jersey, he must be ripshit right now.

Thank Christ it's 4th of July week and like everyone is on vacation.  If this happened during the season, or even during training camp, the media would be going apeshit right now.


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Happy 4th Of July My Fellow Massholes. Now Here's A Compilation Of Stupid People Lighting Fireworks Out Of Their Asses.








VIDEO: Gronk Caught A Touchdown Pass While Wearing Handcuffs...Because He Is Just That Friggin Good.

Rob Gronkowski was on a game show last night called "Beat The Champions." It's a show that pits average people against professional athletes to see if they can beat them. Well, Gronk was wearing handcuffs and his opponent was wearing huge hands and he still made the stiff his bitch.




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